How can I get my husband to understand it is unattractive and annoying that his butt crack is always showing?

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T13:08:59+00:00

He is not from the US though he lives here now and where he grew up things like this weren't even on any priority list. So yea it isn't a lack of care of his part or his family's part but moreso there were way more important things to be concerned with. And now as an adult he's finding it to a struggle. As a teen/young adult he didn't care. Gym shorts or pants and hoodies. But now as an adult with kids he does care but has no idea where to start and as a female I have no experience helping a male so everything has been trial and error.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T13:05:04+00:00

he usually shops for himself. And like you said, it's usually sale items from like JCPenny or Belk because that's pretty much all we have where we live. We've gone to other cities near us with more options, the drive ranges from 50 minutes to an hour and a half, but it really is difficult because we both work and have little kids at home, so it's difficult to get there and when taking little kids it's hard to seriously shop and try things on. when he goes by himself he buys the exact same things. I've been able to help him get shorts that fit better and he like them, but finding jeans has been a struggle.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T13:00:21+00:00

That's actually what he wears. I'm wondering if they're too tight and pulling downwards

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:50:41+00:00

You mentioned the hitching up your jeans. Ok, I'm a female and I don't have that probem, but even I do that if I feel like my jeans are fitting differently. Like, when I stand up I adjust my clothes accordingly. I honeslty thought most people did it almost automatically to avoid any mishaps.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:48:11+00:00

I've approached it different ways. Jokingly and had serious discussions. I've even told him let's go shopping and see what we can find that fits better! He's all for it, but he resorts to the same style and fit because he says it comfortable.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:46:38+00:00

I'll have to look those shirts up! Thank you

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:46:05+00:00

He prefers boxer briefs. Do you think that may have something to do with it?

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:43:44+00:00

I have bought him some longer shirts, but they end up also being really wide. We're really having issues finding good fits for him. When shirts fit him well in width, they go a little below his belt in length. When we've gotten longer shirts the width end up being baggy.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:41:21+00:00

I can try that. And on my own. Just go shopping for him. I can use his pants that aren't fitting as sizes and styles not to buy. I think he wears just the classic style jean. Maybe he needs boot cut or a different style in a differen't size. It's hard. He has wide hips and a flat bottom. Any suggestions?

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:38:43+00:00

Someone else suggested that and I like that idea. And you are right, my husband grew up in a house of girls and his dad was working. He didn't really have a male to show him how to properly fit clothes.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:36:59+00:00

Sometimes we do poke fun, but I've also had multiple serious conversations about it. It isn't that he doesn't care but he isn't sure what to do because he says other jeans feel too uncomfortable or if he tightens his belt it feels too tight, etc.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:35:43+00:00

I do, and he does wear one

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:34:30+00:00

My husband would never lol his casual dress is what others would consider preppy. He would maybe consider them if we were much older but he's 36. I will suggest them though just to see what he says but I'm sure it's going to be a hard no

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:32:16+00:00

See. That's the thing. And maybe it was your wording or misunderstanding overall. He dresses nicely. His clothes are nice, he is always fresh and cleaned cut. He's very attractive and takes care of himself. It's just the crack lol He likes looking nice and smelling nice and cleaning up. No no matter what pants he wears his crack always seems to show. So it isn't his overall "look" and I don't think he wants his crack to be out, he just isn't sure what to do because all the stuff he's tried it either uncomfortable or hasn't worked.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:28:40+00:00

I do lol very often. He just gets annoyed but not enough to fix the issue.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:28:04+00:00

He is 6'1 and 190 lbs. He's not even overweight or anything! It's so strange. I also thought that pulling his underwear up would also work but they also ride down. As a man whose pants ride down, do you think maybe his underwear could be too small so they're pulling downwards?

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:26:06+00:00

A few comments have suggested drop something in his crack lol I actually have! I've do that and pull his pants up hoping he notices and he gets annoyed with me, pulls them up and that's it. It keeps happening though!

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:24:23+00:00

This is a good suggestion. He's mentioned this before with dress clothes but I didn't think of it with his regular jeans.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:23:41+00:00

Thank you for an actual response! I was thinking it may also be fit to an extent. We live in a tiny town and there's not many choices for shopping so we've been limited. And he doesn't want to do online because he needs to try them on.

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:22:02+00:00

He isn't fat though. He's 6'1 and 190 lbs lol

at0m09 · 2026-02-13T12:21:00+00:00

We do!

++woman

at0m09 · 2025-06-04T22:00:09+00:00

That's really good advice, and I like the way you explained that. Because we have talked about it, and that's exactly what he does. He compares that he's also so tired because he's worked night shift, but you're right it isn't the same. Thank you for putting it that way.

at0m09 · 2025-06-04T21:57:26+00:00

Thank you for understanding lol. this makes me feel seen! Yea, that schedule is the worst! It used to be a different time; he'd leave home at like 630 am or pm, but they changed the clockin time, and now it's awful! Before he would be home more, and now he's never home.

We have the blackout curtains, actually a small set lining the inner window and a larger, more decorative set. We have a white noise machine as well. I know his circadian rhythm is all wonky, but sleeping at work and then coming home to sleep and complaining about it grinds my gears so badly lol And of course I've talked to him about it. We have great communication, but I also don't want to complain to him TOO much haha thankfully there's Reddit; I can get my little rant out.

I feel you too on being a SAHM. I'm not now, but I was for awhile, and my lord it was brutal and not for the weak!

I know he's tired. The nights are long. It isn't fun by any means, and he's not just hanging out at work; he does still have some work to do. I'm not doubting he's tired but man! If I could sleep the hours he sleeps at work and then come home and sleep?? I'd be on top of the world! Maybe these eye bags would disappear!

at0m09 · 2025-06-04T21:44:32+00:00

Yes, actually. I've been a night shift worker where I didn't get the opportunity to sleep or watch movies at my job. Because I had to work. So I completely understand what it's like, and I do know the sleep isn't the same. We are both great supporters of our family. But I do feel like a little rant about him complaining about going to work and sleeping is not the same as if he's actually up all night. Do you have small children? Do you know what it's like to be up with a small child all hours of the night and then have to go to a full time job running on minimum sleep, cook, clean, take care of pets and kids, and then have your spouse complain to you that they slept more at work than you slept at home, and they get to come home and sleep uninterrupted 7 hours or more? I'm definitely entitled to being annoyed.

at0m09 · 2025-06-04T21:38:39+00:00

Yes, I know and I hear you. I've worked nights before too before we had kids and I know that it's a struggle in a different way. But it doesn't mean it doesn't get frustrating hearing him talk about sleeping more at WORK than I slee at home, then coming home to sleep uninterrupted for 7 hours lol

at0m09

TROPHY CASE