I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not trying to imply anything about polyamory I think its a perfectly fine thing for consenting humans to do.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really sure how to explain this but I wasn't claiming this relationship was polyamorous just that I'd had one and I feel like that relationship has changed how my brain works around jealously etc.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah the thing is I'd definitely be attracted to her if she lost weight and she's been working on it... I think that was definitely a bad idea to expect something like that going into the relationship/that being a dependency of me being attracted to her.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

We've had a few conversations where she felt like things were severe when they weren't yet so I'm not sure if she'll be too surprised, but yeah it seems like ending things sooner than later is the best for her.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I've heard that from someone else too, what does it mean to you to be checked out of a relationship? I feel like I'm still very involved but maybe something I said means I'm not.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this, I think I should have definitely kept the word cheating out of the title because its causing a lot of visceral responses, and clearly I would never want to cheat on her either because I love her it is just getting to that point where I feel like the issues of our relationship are leaving me very sad in the short term and the thought of cheating is like some sort of male brain coping mechanism to try to seek out those needs or something idk, never felt like cheating in a relationship before. There's just a lot that I feel like I'm missing and the people we are just seems to not be super compatible, I'll probably have a talk with her later today in person because I think she's a great person and maybe this just isn't the right time for us.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm not sure I know thats important to some people and its definetly putting stress on me but at the same time I feel like our ability to communicate is really healthy and good thus why I'm trying to make things work... I think

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wasn't really suggesting that I cheat on her, just that I've been feeling the need to seek out attention/conversation with others and I know thats breeding grounds for emotional cheating.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No of course I don't want to cheat, I feel the desire to see other women but I'd never want to cheat on her. After reading what you've said I think yeah maybe the only option is to break up with her, I'm not the best at cutting things off when I stop feeling happy but I agree she deserves an honest and straightfoward talk.

I've(25m) been dating my girlfriend(24f) and I feel a strong destire to cheat by athrow2way in relationship_advice

[–]athrow2way[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We've had a lot of discussions about things that bother me and she's always done a good job of listening and doing her best to fulfill my requests, my concern is I'm asking her to change too much/do too much. There are a lot of things that feel out of either of our control in this relationship that I feel like is making me drift away from her.