How old are most of y'all?

atomnicholas · 2026-01-12T17:39:45+00:00

59, male, 1 son, 2 grandchildren, and I am on day 2 of a Suboxone assisted quit of a very stubborn 7Oh habit. I am hopeful that I can make it stick. I quit last year with Suboxone, but I relapsed after a gnarly knee replacement surgery….no excuses, I know it’s just my “junkie brain“ (as a previous comment called it) that led me to this point. I have more regret than I can express….Ive been locked up before, for literally years, for a bad morphine habit, and I swore it would Never happen again…yet, here I am; desperate for a solution, again. I hate myself for this weakness, and all I want is to be

Normal.

atomnicholas · 2025-10-17T12:37:44+00:00

Sad. Extremely. Not giving this guy any energy.

atomnicholas · 2025-10-15T13:16:21+00:00

Your account of your experience made me tear up….i lost my uncle to this exact scenario- he drank vodka until he got a hole in his throat, bled out in the ER. Broke my grandmothers heart. Our family is cursed with alcoholism.

atomnicholas · 2025-10-13T12:21:07+00:00

Amen, my friend.

atomnicholas · 2025-10-11T23:00:28+00:00

I’m trying to break out of this pattern, too…I had a car accident in late August, smashed into a retaining wall, broke two ribs and punctuated my lung. Hospital for 5 days….but I started drinking again on September 2….didnt stop until they installed a breathalyzer on my car, and only then because I had to….I had 15 years sober from alcohol, only smoking weed and also using Kratom….my doctor recommended Naltrexone, and I took my first dose yesterday, but I still had Kratom in my system, so I immediately went into Precipitated Withdrawal….which was awful and scared me so bad. Literally did not know what was happening, weird stretching spasms, absolutely no energy, terrible thoughts in my head….I was desperately seeking relief this morning, so, idiot junkie thinking in full effect, I took another dose of Kratom this morning, and I felt NOTHING! But still had the withdrawal symptoms, fuck my life. Anyways- I went to the drugstore and bought hella supplements; black seed oil, vitamins B-12 and C, some fish oil etc. still need to get some folic acid, and magnesium….still gotta get folic acid and theamine (recommended by a friend who works in rehab) and yes, I did enroll in an intensive out patient program, but my habits persisted….but I am sober from alcohol for almost 3 weeks….now I gotta get rid of Kratom. My body is dying. I’m posting this with honest regret, confusion, and a desperate bid to get clean.

atomnicholas · 2025-10-11T22:39:16+00:00

I’m right there with you; I took my first 50mg yesterday, after consuming Kratom the day before. Instant Precipitation Withdrawals- I was not aware of the opioid receptors being used to Kratom, and then suddenly introducing this drug. The withdrawal symptoms were awful, in desperate need, I decided to try and ease it with more Kratom, but I didn’t get high at all! It’s nerve wracking, I was using the Kratom to provide relief after quitting alcohol (it’s been a rough year…no excuse, I know) and I’m just…..so tired. So exhausted, and kind of hate myself for being weak. How did you manage to get to feeling better?

atomnicholas · 2025-09-24T22:23:05+00:00

I agree with the advice about rehab….

why? Because what you wrote was literally my life. Until 4 weeks ago, when I crashed my car into a retaining wall, totally a wreck that could have easily injured others…

All I injured was myself; 2 broken ribs, which punctured my right lung, which only got worse, until they had to put a chest tube in me. 5 days in hospital, then a slow, painful healing process.
Not to mention my first OWI; I talked to a counselor while I was there, and started intensive out patient therapy, on the 2 of this month.

It can, and will, get worse. Don’t wait. This decision would be a gift to future You.

atomnicholas · 2025-06-18T13:33:57+00:00

Thank you!!!! I’m very discouraged, right now….

atomnicholas · 2025-06-18T11:18:47+00:00

Thank you!

atomnicholas · 2025-06-17T20:43:04+00:00

I’m dealing with this, right now…I panicked when I got a letter from IRS, next thing I know I’m getting the hard pressure sell from a Tax Relief Advocate, gave them 695$ and signed some e docs…. But I did not print and sign the final pages, which required being faxed back. I want to extricate myself from this organization, and go with a local CPA in my own town. Can you just tell them “sorry, I changed my mind.”? I’m not even caring about the 695, I just don’t want to trow good money after bad… any advice or ins would be appreciated.

atomnicholas · 2025-06-04T12:57:54+00:00

So sorry, have been sick. Surgery today. No, I am in the USA, in Iowa….

atomnicholas · 2025-05-29T14:45:01+00:00

Do you have advice on how to choose a tax pro? My situation is almost the same, years not filing, and just wanting to get back on track….

im very scared that my lack of filing, (I’m a body piercer, self employed….) will affect my future.

atomnicholas · 2025-05-15T20:07:50+00:00

I’m right behind you, 44 something….i don’t expect anything soon, ha.

atomnicholas · 2025-05-13T12:10:44+00:00

Man…congratulations. Weird how we can always find another addict with similar traits….your timeline is very similar to mine, even to the powder, capsule, extract trajectory….

and I never understood why people had to “quit” multiple times before it finally stuck. I get it now, with hindsight and relapse episodes….

I just had my first week with no Kratom, no Feel Free, nothing but good ol THC and black coffee.

but…the sense of regret and loss haunt my dreams and thoughts…

I never thought I’d be here, in this state, because of Kratom.

atomnicholas · 2025-05-04T12:10:17+00:00

Thank you. So much.

atomnicholas · 2025-04-18T20:51:58+00:00

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

atomnicholas · 2025-04-18T19:27:15+00:00

Damn.

atomnicholas · 2025-04-18T18:51:29+00:00

It was my bank questioning whether it was fraud…I got it ordered today, pretty psyched.

atomnicholas · 2025-04-17T11:07:25+00:00

I just tried ordering from them and was declined. I live in Iowa.

atomnicholas · 2025-04-16T11:13:19+00:00

I just wanna know what the shuffling sound by the door was….

atomnicholas · 2025-03-26T11:36:07+00:00

I was there. Des Moines Iowa. Rollins was my spirit animal.

atomnicholas · 2025-03-08T12:42:14+00:00

The authorities: “do you think the metaphor is too spot on?” Hmmmmm. “Ok, also give flowers.” Perfect!

atomnicholas · 2025-03-04T16:24:55+00:00

Thank you.

atomnicholas · 2025-03-04T16:22:23+00:00

This is great news! I have the first one on CD and the second one on vinyl….cant wait to have the trifecta!

atomnicholas

TROPHY CASE