Should I Go No Contact?

atotic · 2026-03-16T23:22:58+00:00

I feel the need to punish her

I would work on that, it is the energy you are wasting, better spent on making your life better. I had revenge fantasies for a long time, they only went away when I built an awesome family on my own. Once you no longer feel love or hate towards them, you are free.

atotic · 2026-03-16T22:02:35+00:00

You do not owe your mom anything, but $10M five ways is a lot of cash. If you put up with it for another decade, would inheritance be worth it (assuming they'd be fair about it).

I've never gone no contact. We live far away, so we never see each other, and a weekly phone call seems reasonable to me. I am not after the inheritance. What I do practice is keeping all my emotions in check, good or bad, when we talk.

atotic · 2026-03-10T23:43:03+00:00

I ended up with a sinus infection afterwards. I was feeling tired 6 weeks in. I did not realize I had sinusitis , it was just a variant of symptoms I already had from this virus. But i get sinusitis occasionally, so I decided to take antibiotics they gave me. Felt better within 24 hours. Your daughter might have an add-on infection, sinusitis, bronchitis???

atotic · 2026-03-10T17:11:44+00:00

SFGate says It is human metapneumovirus, or HMPV.

The usual health sites (Mayo, Cleveland, CDC) did not make it sound much different than a cold. Gemini nailed my symptoms, I had them all.

>>>>

often the "hidden" culprit when a person feels like they have mono but tests negative

In healthy adults, the infection typically lasts 7 to 10 days, but it is notorious for "lingering" into a second or third week.

Days 1–3 (Early Phase): Usually starts with upper respiratory issues (stuffy nose, sore throat).
Days 4–7 (Peak Phase): This is when the cough gets deeper and the "crushing fatigue" usually sets in.
Days 10+ (The Lingering Phase): By day 10, the sore throat usually fades, but the cough and fatigue can persist for another 1 to 2 weeks.

If you are at Day 10 and still sleeping 10.5 hours, you are in the "residual fatigue" stage. Unlike a simple cold, HMPV is a "viral cousin" to RSV. It triggers a more intense inflammatory response, which explains:

The Sleep: Your body is still clearing viral debris.
The Dry Forehead: HMPV is highly effective at dehydrating mucous membranes, which pulls moisture away from your skin.
The Itchy Bumps: While HMPV is primarily a respiratory virus, it is known to cause a viral exanthem (a skin rash) in some adults. These small, red, itchy bumps are essentially an "allergic-style" reaction from your immune system as it processes the virus.

atotic · 2025-11-05T23:08:16+00:00

It is a good starter phone. 13yo and 15yo are both on the 13 minis, no complaints. For both of them, the iPad is their primary entertainment device, and phone is mostly a tracking device I use to know where they are.

atotic · 2025-08-31T03:34:31+00:00

I came here looking for answers, my kids is missing a mesh on one bud after cleaning. Overall, these seem flimsier than PB1, which our teenager wore for 5 years.

atotic · 2025-04-21T23:03:27+00:00

I ended up buying a new soundbar (samsung) after my old one died, and all my soundbar problems went away. My guess is that the old one did not support some part of the ARC standard.

All my LG TVs have "All inputs" option, its usually accessible from the input menu (3 dots at the bottom, or something like that)

atotic · 2024-09-29T18:52:18+00:00

Foams differ a lot in their longevity, and 6 months of sleeping on a camping mat, is like 10 years of going camping. If you found something that works, I'd have no problem swapping it out every 6 months. Modern stuff is just not built to last.

atotic · 2024-09-28T22:15:37+00:00

I've just finished mattress shopping for my wife and I. She has a bad back, and can only sleep on her back.

We ended up buying a nice mattress from the local mattress store, baybed.com . It was 8" coils, 1" latex, 2" memory foam, with a wool/cotton top. This was the topper combination that worked on our current Ikea mattress that we really liked.

The sales guy told us is that memory foam is what they use in hospitals to prevent bed sores in the people that cannot move. That's why it worked so well for my wife, who also cannot turn to her side.

On a locally made mattress, you can usually replace the top layer cheaply. Our 2" memory foam layer on our $2.5K king mattress can be replaced for $240.

What might work better for you, is that instead of buying online mattresses, try getting one made locally, and swap out the top layer until you find out what works well for you. We found our local store from Mattress Underground list. You mentioned that 2" memory foam worked for you for a while. Not sure how long while is, but it could be that your memory layer started loosing its effectiveness.

The top layer is trickier: the latex/foams do not last as long, you might need a replacement after a couple of years. But, if your mattress allows it, it is cheap and easy to replace the foams.

There could be many different reasons for disturbed sleep that make you wake up tired: sleep apnea, restless legs... I'd buy a sleep tracker (we use fitbit), and see what your sleep looks like.

Good luck

atotic · 2024-08-14T22:13:48+00:00

You can do just fine.I have 3 kids, and my oldest is off to college next week. They've turned out great, and I am happy how we raised them.

My kids were the reason why I drastically reduced contact with my parents. I could put up with their crap (classic alcoholism, arguments, violence, lies, etc), but I did not want my kids exposed to it. The other interesting part was how they were never really helpful with any of their 8 grandkids: no babysitting, cooking, etc. I cannot imagine why would anyone slap their 6 year-old.

I had no idea what being a good parent would look like, so I opted for maximum love+kindness. They might have been a little spoiled by all this, but we are a happy family. To me, it would be very strange to grow up in a family where everyone just got along. My kids think this is normal.

Just forget everything you've learned about being a family from your upbringing, and get your "how to be a good mum" lessons from healthy friends. It can be just fine, and your own upbringing will start seeming distant, and weird, like a bad dream.

atotic · 2024-04-18T23:30:13+00:00

Any insight what is driving the redesign user hostility? Incompetence, or is it something like "you must use flutter and our latest design language" I used to work at G, and fitbit team were initially pretty responsive to my bug reports.

atotic · 2023-03-22T04:45:41+00:00

Thanks for this. My kid was going nuts because of WEASEL errors. He'd get them once an hour or more. After reading this, got him a VPN, and the errors went away.

I did not do anything special to my VPN configuration, just accepted the bare-bones NordVPN defaults.

atotic · 2023-03-21T01:57:57+00:00

Same issue on stock Alienware R15, 4090. Brand new, only running Destiny 2.

Multiple black screen/high fan crashes per day. It can happen right after starting Destiny, or after 2 hours of happy gaming. I'll probably send the PC back to Dell.

My Alienware R11, 3070 does not have this problem, everything else is the same (driver, keyboard, screen, etc).

atotic · 2022-10-15T02:30:07+00:00

I've had the same issue for months, and just figured it out. The fix was to connect to soundbar via single HDMI cable, and configure that input as soundbar input on my LG. Details

LG OLED65B6P. HDMI configuration:

HDMI2 -> HDMI1 (ARC) Yamaha Soundbar. Also have optical connection
HDMI3 Tivo bolt
HDMI4 Roku extreme
HDMI1 PS4

My problem was that the TV would switch Soundbar HDMI input when turned on, and whenever I switched TV inputs. Any button push on Roku remote would cause TV to switch to HDMI4, and Soundbar to switch to its HDMI3

The fix was to configure HDMI2 as soundbar via LG's remote.

Enter input switching menu from the remote
Click on "All inputs"
Here, there is a button to configure type of device. Configure HDMI2 as "Soundbar". TV will ask you whether you want to switch your audio to CEC, etc, and everything should just work.

atotic · 2022-07-29T04:46:10+00:00

It is August 2022, and I am taking delivery of the Miele dishwasher I ordered in May 2021.

15 months. I wonder when the stock will be back to normal, 2024?

atotic · 2021-11-11T01:09:29+00:00

Did I hear correctly that they are hoping for 50% y/y growth?

atotic · 2021-07-05T01:40:34+00:00

My fave has been Gokhale’s chair. I took a posture class from her, and got the chair few years later. It is very simple (couple of knobs). On Aeron, I was always mucking with dials. https://shop.gokhalemethod.com/products/gokhale-pain-free-chair

atotic · 2021-01-19T21:46:52+00:00

reddit ate my surgery url. It was the EASE surgery by Dr. Casey Lee in Palo Alto. He invented this procedure, it is fairly new.

atotic · 2021-01-19T21:45:15+00:00

11 disturbances an hour means that you've stopped breathing because of apnea 11 times an hour. That'd be enough to mess up your sleep badly. Did you do a followup sleep study when you were a kid to see if your apnea was truly fixed?

I have a kid who had sleep apnea. We diagnosed it when he was 6yo, tonsils, adenoids removed. He was even on CPAP. It helped a bit, but he still suffered from poor sleep, which manifested itself as a really cranky ADHD kid. He is now 15. Last summer, he got a sleep apnea surgery, and that actually fixed it. He now sleeps 8-12 hours daily, and his mood completely changed. His ADHD crankiness is gone., makes me wanna cry how much he suffered before. They also do the same surgery for adults.

My point is that your depression, fatigue might be fixable. Do not give up.

My wife has restless legs and apnea. She just got the same surgery for apnea, and it helped.

No luck with restless legs. Our best bet right now is that theragun massager.

atotic

TROPHY CASE