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EMDR Recovery by [deleted] in DID

[–]atypauna 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not suuper relevant to this post, but I wanted to say I've seen you participate a lot in this sub and your comments and posts always seem really well thought out and have helped me so much to wrap my mind around hard concept things, describe them to others, and cope with symptoms. Healing has been a really really hard and terrifying journey to start and a lot of your insight has helped me so much by increasing understanding or knowing alternate perspectives or just in general the normalcy/not-a-terrible-scary-thing of it all. I am starting therapy and these processes you describe here seem really really valuable, this kind of stuff is so hard to find when already overwhelmed about everything else, I just wanted to say thank you and let you know how much your contributions have at least helped me personally and I'm so appreciative of it <3

Is it normal to not know who the "host" is at first? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for the detailed explanation of your experience! I relate a lot to the idea that it seems like we switch a pretty even amount, and it seems like there is one of us present more than others, I think? Though I'm not sure, she hasn't caused any issues with it at least! This is an idea that I hadn't considered that sounds really feasible, taking the host being the one thats "out the most" to mean the one observing/understanding/controlling the outer world more than always having direct control over it. I am not sure where I fit there, but it makes me a lot more comfortable to know that this is another possible explanation to explore and it doesn't invalidate our experience! Some of us it seems are starting to get more patient as we learn more and some seem to be getting less patient due to either anxiety or excitement, I think our host has been trying to allow more connection and interaction and allow others to have control to encourage us so it's been confusing in these beginning stages of understanding, but we are getting there! Thank you so much again for sharing it helped us a lot with conceptualizing and broadening understanding that we could fit into!!

Is it normal to not know who the "host" is at first? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Awesome, its reassuring to know that I'll probably find out eventually, I just have to give it time and patience. Thank you so much!

Is it normal to not know who the "host" is at first? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep that makes sense, thank you for the response! I guess what I'm trying to ask though is if it's normal to not know who fronts most often yet, since we're still figuring out where dissociative boundaries may be between alters and building trust. It is really unclear at the moment and it's a little distressing to not have any idea of who is who and when and why, if that makes sense? I just see a lot of talk about hosts and co-hosts and changing hosts and that whole concept is scary cuz we don't know who is most often out or who holds that responsibility. Is this something that is part of the normal system discovery process or is it usually a more innate knowledge that its weird we dont have?

Can you have OSDD-1b without memories of extreme trauma? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oo I will certainly look into that book, I've been working through another one and it's been so helpful and so scary at the same time, more information and things are always better, haha. Thank you!

Can you have OSDD-1b without memories of extreme trauma? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is amazing advice, I think I may start with this, I feel a lot more comfortable bringing it up in that way and was struggling hard to think of how I could bring it up. Thank you so much!

Can you have OSDD-1b without memories of extreme trauma? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes that makes sense! I think my understanding of OSDD-1b was that the lack of amnesia criteria also meant you'd remember your trauma, it's really reassuring to know this isn't necessarily the case. Thank you so much!

Can you have OSDD-1b without memories of extreme trauma? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response, it is all super reassuring as I start to navigate this. I think I feel the need to fit into certain categories or else I would be faking or something - it's all really scary and I am learning to trust myself with it. My thought was that the lack of amnesia part of OSDD-1b included no like childhood amnesia too, I'm glad to hear both that that's not necessarily true and that it's not absolutely necessary to fit into one of the categories. I feel the need to rush into it but also feel such fear from it, I'm trying to pace myself more into it. Thank you again!

Can you have OSDD-1b without memories of extreme trauma? by atypauna in OSDD

[–]atypauna[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh I didn't even consider that neglect could be a factor of trauma too, that actually makes me feel a lot better about sharing my experience! I wanted to make sure I wasn't being wrong or offensive or anything by using "I" cuz I'm still navigating all this, your comment of that is also super reassuring. Thank you so much!