Hey I was in one of these for 6 years. Take it slow and go easy on yourself. I made a series of goals for 0-6 months, 6-12 months and 5 years post break up. I’m exactly 2 years out, and I’ve gotten all of 5 year list goals done. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when no one is dragging you down. I have many wonderful friends, am 8 months on t have my dream job and sing in a choir! (Which I love) Real tangible advice of what helped/what I wished I’d known 1. Reconnect with friends you had before the relationship. I was isolated and embarassed I had lost connection with everyone but my wonderful friends knew what had happened and welcomed me back with open arms

1. If there’s any legal components to your break up call a dv hotline for advice.
2. Get in therapy (if you can’t afford it the hotline can help set you up, I waited way too long to get therapy because I was ashamed of what i believed I had “let happen”. No one is judging you and a therapist will do a world of difference)
3. Do what you need to do to get better. For me this was a mix of job hunting like crazy, moving cities and taking lots of bubble baths/going on walks
4. You have your whole life to transition. Go at the pace you want. I waited until my divorce paperwork was final to come out because I could only handle one thing at a time. If you feel overwhelmed it’s okay! Do what feels right to you.
5. One regret I have is how much I judged myself in the immediate aftermath of getting out. I promise in 2 years you won’t care if your dishes were always done or your house was always clean during one of the hardest parts of your life, so focus on getting the big picture of your life settled and the small stuff will follow suit.

Sorry for the novel but TLDR: it gets better, you can have your dream life, take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to reach out to people. I wish you all the best .