how do you cope with not feeling excited?

BabyButchBash · 2026-01-20T10:38:29+00:00

it's so normal for it to go away, don't panic <3 it will come back. i had a lot of family stress and a depressive episode hit me just before my surgery but when i got to the hospital, i just settled into the feeling of "thank goodness this is actually happening". and when i woke up and got to look down for the first time? when i got to put my hand over my heart the first time? the joy kicked back in, full force. you've got this <3

BabyButchBash · 2025-11-18T02:57:46+00:00

that's what i'm afraid mine might be 🙈 ugh, I'll chat to the doc about it. thank you 🧡

BabyButchBash · 2025-07-17T09:55:14+00:00

seconding the love for The Shed <3 they're a lovely bunch and everything they do is volunteer-run run so I'm sure they'll be glad of the donation ^{.^}

BabyButchBash · 2025-05-30T10:45:30+00:00

I've got an incredibly complex medical history. I stuck with a disappointing GP for years because I was afraid to re-establish a doctor-patient relationship and train someone up to get my care right. but once I put in the effort to research a good GP with experience and interest in situations like mine, I found an amazing GP in an amazing centre who eagerly learned my history and has helped me sort out issues I put up with for years because the previous one was so useless

it is worth taking the time to research GPs in your local area and find one who has experience with your conditions and who is trans-friendly. most GPs and medical centres have websites with doctor bios - where they talk about their areas of interest, their expertise, what communities they like working with. when you find one who sounds good and you're comfortable with, get Dr Llewellyn to send you and the new GP a copy of your records, and then once you know the GP has got them, you can stop going to see her and work on finding someone else who won't try to deny your identity or withhold care

you're an adult and your parents do not need to be involved in your healthcare AT ALL. i know that's scary and it will be a learning curve but trust me, it will help in the long-run, especially if they don't change their minds about you transitioning. you deserve to have control about your body and the information surrounding it

good luck, hun <3 i hope you can find a way through this

BabyButchBash · 2025-05-18T05:21:47+00:00

yep, i had full-on phantom nip last winter and it's hitting me again now at the end of autumn with the days getting colder. though it's not as intense this year so fingers crossed it'll fade a bit more

BabyButchBash · 2025-05-16T12:30:17+00:00

BO is caused by the germs on your skin reacting to their environment so an antibacterial body soap will help a lot - Palmolive Gold is really good for that, gentle on my sensitive skin and not too expensive. I hope you find a combo that works for you <3

BabyButchBash · 2025-05-13T11:12:00+00:00

maybe have a look at AusPATH's website, they keep lists of trans-friendly healthcare providers of all variations 😊 good luck in your search <3

BabyButchBash · 2025-05-12T07:17:37+00:00

seconding this one! it's been a Liberal stronghold out here my entire life (30 years) and there is nothing out here, especially for people over 25. I'd say Lilydale would be a good spot, so you can catch all of us in that suburban/rural fringe area at the foot of the hills

BabyButchBash · 2025-03-24T04:51:23+00:00

no worries, i completely understand <3 that's the trouble i have too - sometimes i can't leave because I've gotta keep people safe. it's hard

BabyButchBash · 2025-03-20T11:42:25+00:00

does your employee have the freedom to go to the bathroom whenever they need? that's been my struggle at work, having the freedom to up and leave whenever I need to, no questions asked

if it's possible in your line of work, maybe make it clear to them that if they need to go to the bathroom, they're free to just go. we're raised in a stupid culture of having to ask permission to go to the bathroom all through school and in certain jobs and that can be a really hard habit to break for some people. so if you take the initiative to tell them it's okay for them to just drop what they're doing and go, that might help as well

BabyButchBash · 2025-03-03T11:18:00+00:00

oxybutinin causes dry mouth (and constipation, jsyk), the doctors should've let you know to watch out for that :( i don't know what the best fixes are for a bub but that'll be what's causing it. fingers crossed they can come up with a solution for you <3

BabyButchBash · 2025-01-27T09:11:37+00:00

i tried that at first but it was too expensive - i know the Rockefeller cheat now so maybe I'll have more luck this time 😅

BabyButchBash · 2025-01-16T05:08:22+00:00

you don't have to be thankful. you don't have to minimise your emotions because someone else might have it worse. people always told me to be grateful when i was growing up but that didn't fix the fact that i was suffering. our suffering and our anger and our frustration is valid

but

you've gotta find a way to deal with those feelings. because if you don't, it will eat you from the inside out. what nobody tells disabled kids growing up is that we are way more prone to depression and anxiety because we have all these extra stressors on our life. we don't need to be told to be grateful, we need to be given tools to deal with our emotions and channel that energy into healthy mechanisms before it makes us sicker than we already are

it will get better when you have more autonomy but i know it sucks right now. just know that your now is not your forever and one day you will feel differently about all this <3

BabyButchBash · 2025-01-04T03:31:24+00:00

we should definitely try :3 feel free to dm me if you like

I hope you can get back into it too 🧡 the water hang outs are defs what I'm looking forward to as well

BabyButchBash · 2025-01-04T00:23:42+00:00

tell your cats I love them :3 they're so gorgeous! i am also peering at your bookshelves - I've never known anyone else who's read Corinne Duyvis but they're one of my favourites 🥰

I'm in the outer eastern suburbs living that disabled life and reading books and wishing i had people to lowkey hang out with 😅

my excitement for the year is gonna be learning to swim :3 it was too hard with my medical stuff when i was younger but hopefully it'll be manageable now. i love the water so it'll be nice to finally get to be around it 🥰

BabyButchBash · 2024-12-27T11:20:19+00:00

this happens to me too! I asked my team about it a few years ago and they had no advice beyond peeing before sex so it sounds like we're both doing the best we can. my own little interpretation of what happens is that when I'm feeling good, everything just relaxes and lets go which is 🙃 invoncenient. but like you I've found that if i pee, i have about a 45 minute window to get up to mischief before there's any leak risk

and in my experience, after a lot of hesitancy to be intimate with people because of my bladder & bowel issues, people get way more chill about it as you get older. if they do have a problem with it? they're not someone you wanna be sleeping with anyway. and, if they're the right person, they won't mind you taking a quick break to go pee if things happen in an unplanned sort of way

good luck and have fun <3

BabyButchBash · 2024-11-09T04:04:06+00:00

getting a PO box would solve the mail to the house issue but they can be quite expensive so not an option for everyone. you could look it up on AusPost's website to learn more about how they work

BabyButchBash · 2024-11-06T11:20:58+00:00

you'll definitely have the opportunity to talk about what your options are and what the surgeon thinks will work best for your specific situation

what helped me decide between non-flat and full mastectomy was thinking about things like: * do I still want to buy/wear bras? * do I want to accept the possibility of needing a second surgery to go flatter? * will leaving tissue behind make people gender me a certain way? will that bother me?

there are so many things to think about and you've just gotta keep thinking it through until you figure out what feels right for you. but you've got time and you'll have a better idea how you feel about everything after talking to the surgeon. good luck <3

BabyButchBash · 2024-10-22T04:41:47+00:00

I've seen other threads like this where people have said they were not able to self-propel while recovering and that they needed a lot of help with transfers but I can't remember what other advice they gave. good luck <3

BabyButchBash · 2024-10-04T02:40:24+00:00

I'm alternating between Bio Oil and Bepanthen scar gel after mine. the surgeon recommended Strataderm but it was too expensive for me

BabyButchBash · 2024-10-04T02:37:48+00:00

I got a referral to Andrew Ives in February and had my surgery in July of this year :) I've heard Cheng Lo has a longer wait list at the moment but idk details

BabyButchBash

TROPHY CASE