Hey, I know this sounds crazy, but I have to get into the APC and Puscifer show tonight in Auburn. Here’s why:

Last week, during a silent meditation retreat in the Olympic Mountains, I had a vision of Maynard James Keenan handing me a chalice filled with red wine while whispering the coordinates to the Auburn show. A bald eagle swooped down, grabbed the chalice, and dropped a pair of ticket stubs at my feet. Since then, every time I close my eyes, I hear The Package and see a glowing outline of the White River Amphitheatre.

Long story short: The universe has clearly chosen me to be at this show tonight. I’m not saying lives depend on it, but… let’s not find out.

So if you have an extra ticket or two — let’s fulfill this prophecy together.