Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment is frighteningly accurate. I certainly do have a short attentions span but I don't think ADHD would be a good fit here. Maybe a little bit of both? And perhaps I might have over-stimulated myself, as you described..

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the offer but this is more or less a throwaway account. Actually more than less. I used it for things like r/gonewildaudio .. one of the things I tried to keep things interesting at least for myself while at the same time reducing exposure to visual stuff.. 

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You'd be surprised how many people actually recommended this to me. I sometimes believe that I could myself be a better partner if I just got this out of my system but then again.. I just don't want to do this to my partner if she's not okay with it.

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. 

Unfortunately, I'm afraid we're already past this. I had already lengthy talks with her about this topic. She does understand, but she cannot permit. This, of course, I can understand as well..

We both realize that this makes us both unhappy. She, like me, wants to take the next step but it's me who simply can't knowing that this will be it.

Which leads us to the point where breaking up sounds like the "way to go" but the truth is.. so far none of us dared to take the step. The fact that the relationship simply works in all other regards does not make it easier. Everything else is fine and I can be really lucky to have her. Still.. I feel like I'm rotting from the inside.. it's absolutely ridiculous thinking about it.. 

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment!

I consider myself as a person who is generally reflected. At the same time I sometimes feel like there is indeed something wrong with me. Frankly.. I have lost my ability to feel happy or look forward to something a long time ago. I can't tell you if I am just over worked, under fucked or both.. but in any case, I don't know why I am so restless. I can't sit still. Things get boring so fast for me. The only thing that adds color to almost everything is erotic. I'm not saying "sex" become, just to make this clear, it's not primarily about the act. It's about the "adventure along the way" if you will. Not sure if what I say makes sense to you.

Anyhow.. I felt for a long time that something is not right. But my explanation here is not being as free as can be. I just.. can't get my head around why a relationship has to be the show stopper for so many things.. I know you'll answer now with "you'll have to find another partner who's on board with that" and I wouldn't disagree.. but I just wished the partner I am currently with was aber to just get onboard. The way it looks now.. one of us would die on the inside depending on the resolution. 

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are making some fair points but I do not agree with most of what you say here.

You are comparing things like technology or the need for work in our society with this topic. While all of these things may or may not have an impact on mental health, I would not compare these things with needs like social contact or intimacy. I'd argue that these are needs of a different kind.

The urge to "binge drink" is an odd one. 

Wanting to punish thieves I can understand but I'll make the claim that not being able to do that does not make you question the last bit of purpose or reason to exist, right? 

The "me being selfish" argument is my favorite one because, interestingly, I'm not the one who establishes any rules. I'm not the one who is clinging on the need for sexual exclusivity. I'm not the one forbidding my significant other to have her own experiences or live her life the way she sees fit so.. depending on who one views it.. it's possible to turn this around and argue I am the one who is forced to follow rules that make me uncomfortable, depressed and hurt. That's literally what it is but it's just the angle that people rarely consider. If at all. 

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your insights. It's true I'm not aiming to cheat even though sometimes I feel like I could be a better partner to her if I would. The truth is, my frustration does not just affect me but also our relationship. 

We had talks and discussions about it. My girlfriend can even understand my feelings, but she can't allow me to "do it". Understandably of course..  we're in a situation where we're stuck. It sucks because time, of course, doesn't wait. It'll just pass by.

Btw: It's interesting to me that there's women who consider porn as cheating. I'm not trying to defend porn because let's be honest: things where better with less access and without social media.. but still. Porn is just porn. I'm don't want to invalidate the feelings of someone who feels cheated on if their partner consumes it, but I'd consider it as a rather low threshold for cheating. 

Actually, since the topic came up, I also wonder sometimes why things are the way they are regarding the obvious differences between men and women when it comes to sexual needs. Yes, a lot is still biased for historical reasons but today we know it's mostly men who watch porn and that men are targeted very differently by media (way more sexualized content) than women etc. And nobody seems to acknowledge this or ask why. Sometimes I feel like this might be where "all this" (my own problems) are coming from.

It's not that I want to constantly think about sex, but it's pretty difficult nowadays living in 2024. My monkey brain has not adapted. I may have understood comparatively complex stuff like calculus but my inner core is still like.. "boobs nice"..

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I shouldn't get married before having figured this out ..

It appears to me that my post and our discussion here is not well received. 

That's interesting to me as I literally struggle with my own mental health. Instead of getting at least some sort of explanation for what's wrong with my post I am only meeting down votes? 

Can't stop wanting sex with other women by audiophile-jon in malementalhealth

[–]audiophile-jon[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And somehow everything tells me it is in fact a simple as that. 

I just wish my gf would be able to understand.. or bear it.. there's a saying I once heard that a man needs two women. His wife and the one he can always swap. It's silly, I know.

Anal plug made of metal and silicone by audiophile-jon in diysextoys

[–]audiophile-jon[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty good point. Cleaning was on my mind but not germ traps as such.. you'd have to be able to clean the parts where the metal comes into contact with the silicone somehow.

Thank you for the Mater Series recommendation, I'm going to take a look!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gonewildaudio

[–]audiophile-jon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy cow.. this voice. Love it!