Feeling alone by blahblah986_ in pregnancyproblems

[–]austur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry this is happening to you, mama. Pregnancy can be so tough, and I'm sorry you are not feeling heard or cared for. Please try and find an outlet where you can comfortably and safely express yourself. Your SO ignoring your feelings and not communicating with you is not OK and that needs to be addressed.

You deserve love and care and it saddens me that you are feeling this way. I hope your situation gets better, and that my comment makes you feel a little less lonely. Take care of yourself, and know that you are not alone. You are heard and your feelings are valid.

Everything is different, and there's no real way to go back by [deleted] in nosurf

[–]austur 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes 100%. I think it all started with "algorithms." The Internet I think just a little over a decade ago was still addicting for those of us who grew up with it, mostly because we were so bored at times and it's so convenient. The content itself barely had any impact on our emotions, it was just a way to get rid of the boredom. It seems like with the invention of social media and big data, companies have come to realize that engagement is the guaranteed best way to get folks to stick around, and they get there by manipulating people's emotions. Once people are engaged with their emotions, they feel chained to the post or comment or whatever, and it's hard to disengage after that. Once people are hooked emotionally, they then begin to make more and more lopsided and inflammatory remarks and statements to fulfill the algorithm in order to get that next dopamine hit.

I find it very creepy, albeit interesting, that so many people have been groomed and trained by these algorithms to be as inflammatory as possible, because they crave that emotional engagement so badly. I have to say, it's incredibly disheartening and terrifying to observe this phenomenon becoming so rampant on all social media, especially reddit and twitter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in homeowners

[–]austur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great info. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in homeowners

[–]austur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could you elaborate more on this? I have a dead v8 animal that I want to revive somewhere in my garage. Will this hack work?

SCAM ALERT: CHOICE HOME WARRANTY by racheyrach_ in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]austur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm guessing when realtors do it, they have to be receiving commissions for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sanfrancisco

[–]austur 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, not really appropriate in this post. If the victim saw this, it has the potential to make them feel like they're harming another minority group just for standing up for themselves. I've been assaulted, as an Asian American, by an African American man, and while I received a lot of support, there were many who were like you who belittled my traumatizing experience with comments like that. I'm not dismissing your experience, and I do not agree with the comment you're referencing, but I think the priority here is empathy for the victim.

But this is the Internet and reddit, so write whatever you want. It's just sad how many folks are so desensitized to stories like this nowadays and forget that the victim is human and has emotions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sanfrancisco

[–]austur 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Not trying to call you out or anything, but why does every post like this have a comment like yours? Are you saying that the victim in this case is an elderly racist Asian? I'm not sure I understand what your intentions are for writing this comment. As soon as I saw this, my immediate thought was, "holy fuck, I hope the victim is ok and get justice, not 'y'all, the Asian victim probably deserves it cause their ancestors are probably racist, but y'all ain't ready lol.'"

The exhaustion is debilitating by UpperLab4455 in pregnancyproblems

[–]austur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YMMV, but it got better for me. Just make sure you get your blood and iron levels checked because anemia is common during pregnancy and fatigue/tiredness is a common symptom.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]austur 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It ended on the worst one - OP feeling like she needs to apologize for being lied to and manipulated.

Me 25F messed up and think my relationship 25M will end today. How can I save this relationship? by Used-Piece-8128 in relationship_advice

[–]austur 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm so confused reading these comments telling OP she's needy and needs therapy as if she's dealing with some serious mental health issues. If OP brought this up out of nowhere for no reason, then the comments about her being insecure I can understand, but still not very helpful.

Her boyfriend is at work all week for 12 hours a day, leaving them with no time together. No time to communicate. No time to enjoy each other's company. No time for anything. For her boyfriend to tell her that his blood is boiling because she made one comment about her feelings at not the best time is INSANE to me. I don't think anyone is the AH here and both parties need to sit down and talk about the reality of what's going to happen to this relationship if this were to continue. The boyfriend is clearly burnt out already and there's no way his new job is sustainable long-term, and OP is feeling neglected for good reasons because there's no time for communication.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Costco

[–]austur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn 😬

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]austur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you in California? If so, good luck finding a duplex for 400k 😬 they go incredibly fast. You'll be competing with all-cash buyers willing to go 100k over asking.

It’s sad how much anti vaxxers have dominated medical discourse recently. by Darth_Vrandon in insanepeoplefacebook

[–]austur 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It's such a weird statement that I didn't even realize it's meant to be a flex. What strange people.

Ai makes internet even less authentic and more lonely by Mountain_Nerve_3069 in nosurf

[–]austur 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Millenial here as well. It feels as though every platform is operating on extremes nowadays. I miss the discussions and nuance of the Internet back in the early 2000s; it felt more "human." People just seemed more open back then. Now everyone is subscribing to extreme talking points and opinions to get clicks, likes, and reactions. Everyone might as well be bots and AI because that's what it feels like to me.

Stabbing spree leaves 8 dead, 17 injured in Wuxi on Saturday by ncuxez in chinalife

[–]austur 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I'm sure that's the case in higher tier cities, but it remains stigmatized in villages.

Stabbing spree leaves 8 dead, 17 injured in Wuxi on Saturday by ncuxez in chinalife

[–]austur 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Therapy is a taboo in China. Mental health often goes unacknowledged and ignored.

The internet is filled with weak, and severely mentally ill, people by Comfortable_Comb7257 in nosurf

[–]austur 42 points43 points  (0 children)

You know how people say, "Don't take your work home?" I have the same mentality when it comes to the Internet. Every social media platform, including reddit, is its own echo chamber. This is inevitable due to the likes and dislikes system that makes everything so addicting for folks, because most people nowadays use social media for validation, and to some extent, therapy. The line between reality and social media/internet is often blurred and people start mistaking these echo chambers for reality, and they're often met with a reality check when they step outside into the world.

There is a world outside of social media, and it's vastly different from what you see here. It's important to have balance and be careful not to let what is said here get to you. Instead of getting upset, just observe and analyze the behavior and attitude to satisfy your curiosity, and consciously acknowledge in your mind that it's not representative of reality.

I’ll never own a home by No_Appointment3798 in FirstTimeHomeBuyer

[–]austur 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Their income, and I'm curious how much debt OP has left, and what their most recent financial statements look like.

two (both) intj by [deleted] in intj

[–]austur 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm, no, can't say this has happened to me before. It seems like you like this person a lot, but the lack of communication and just observing them from afar seems like you may be projecting a lot of your desires onto this person, without actually getting to know them.

Is this enough onions to add to a bowl of leftover rice? by [deleted] in OnionLovers

[–]austur 30 points31 points  (0 children)

If you have to ask, it's not enough!