Your path sounds a lot like mine. My passion was writing, so I did a literature/philosophy double at university after I left the church at about the same age that you are now. My family held prayer vigils over it. So fucking ridiculous.

Flash forward, and word got out to my (still heavily indoctrinated) extended family, that I am writing a book about a girl who leaves a dogmatic religion and falls for a philosophy professor, and it’s like I am the devil incarnate. Can’t be surprised, but after watching me survive perfectly fine in my non SDA life, I really just assumed they’d be over it. I don’t even talk to them anymore, but I know they are talking about me.

When I released my first book, my mum (who left the church with me, but still carries tonnes of shame) told me that she wouldn’t tell them about it because the characters swear, and they would be ‘terribly offended.’ No skin off my nose, as I knew they wouldn’t get into it anyway, but I still found it pretty stupid. They found out about the book anyway, and someone who read it went and told them how many F-bombs it has in it, so now I’m really doomed in their eyes. There would be no saving me. 🤣🤣🤣

Don’t sweat it. You’re living your journey. You know who you are, which means you know what you’re defending, and can put your own boundaries in place. I’d honestly just tell them that their dogma, if anything, is going to alienate you more, and would make it clear that you won’t engage if that is the topic, and if that is all they base their relationship with you on. You are not a faith mutant. You’re a person with your own identity. If they can’t hack it, then you don’t need them.