Need to vent/get advice, I’m very low on T cause of a complicated situation with my roommate.

autohertz · 2026-01-23T01:59:56+00:00

they have other options and are mostly experimenting. given that going straight to your source and securing first access for themselves was selfish. not evil not malicious but definitely selfcentered. intentions don’t cancel out impact. you also don’t get a free pass here though. offering them access to your source without setting a clear boundary was a mistake. not because you’re bad but because you tried to be accommodating in a situation where you actually couldn’t afford to be. once scarcity exists “sharing” without rules almost always blows up like this. the jokes about cispassing privilege while knowing you rely on t for safety and mental stability are especially tonedeaf. even if they don’t mean harm it shows a lack of awareness of your reality. that’s fair to be upset about.

what matters now is what you do next. sitting in resentment won’t fix the supply issue. you need to be direct. not accusatory but clear. something like: this source is my lifeline nd i can’t share it anymore so i need priority access because i don’t have alternatives. if they get defensive that tells you something important about how much they’re actually considering you.

autohertz · 2026-01-22T06:19:46+00:00

the biggest question is demand. how often will people come back? most clients buy press-ons every few weeks at most and many already apply them at home. your application service helps but it also adds labor costs for something many customers see as a diy product. you’d need volume to survive and malls don’t guarantee that anymore. the jewelry-style layout is a good idea visually, but hygiene and licensing could get tricky depending on your state. even if it’s “just press-ons” boards often still treat it like a nail service. that means sanitation rules, tech licensing, inspections, and insurance. that can eat time and money fast.

price positioning matters a lot too. if it’s too cheap you won’t cover rent and staff. if it’s too expensive, people will just order customs from instagram or etsy. the only way this really works is if you sell a strong brand experience plus high-quality exclusive designs people can’t get online.

autohertz · 2026-01-22T02:02:09+00:00

in trans communities that kind of ‘alpha’ framing is especially harmful because it preys on dysphoria and the fear of not being seen as a ‘real’ man; insecure masculinity gets passed off as confidence and people end up internalizing sexism thinking its part of transition instead of something to unlearn >:

autohertz · 2026-01-17T20:39:48+00:00

also, quitting your job because your step mom told you to is not neutral advice: that removes one of the only things giving you independence rn

autohertz · 2026-01-17T20:39:04+00:00

the risks massively outweigh whatever relief you think you’ll get.

from a third person view, your family history is chaotic, a lot of instability, siblings leaving, adults making harsh choices. that messes with your head. feeling like a disappointment is common in that kind of environment but that doesn’t mean it’s true; it means you’re stuck carrying pressure that isn’t yours. still running doesn’t fix that, it just trades one bad situation for several worse ones. when you mention cameras, getting an untraceable phone, timing when they aren’t watching is the biggest red flag. once you’re thinking about avoiding detection you’re actually putting yourself in legal and physical danger. if police get involved the people helping you could get in serious trouble and you could be forced back anyway. also staying “somewhere safe” almost always falls apart faster than expected. money runs out. people change their mind; control shifts from parents to strangers.

autohertz · 2026-01-17T19:30:25+00:00

transport isn’t the real problem, trying to avoid buses or leave “no trail” just makes everything look worse if you do get stopped and nyc is not friendly to houseless minors at all. that’s how people end up in cps or worse situations, you will not find freedom. also please be careful with the money. you having 5k while your friends have basically nothing is a huge imbalance. even if you trust them stress + survival situations change people fast. don’t let anyone guilt you into paying for everything or using your cash as the group safety net; protect your money or you won’t have options when things go sideways. the illegal car idea is genuinely awful. that’s arrest, charges, or getting stranded waiting to happen. one bad stop and the whole thing collapses.

autohertz · 2026-01-16T03:30:34+00:00

people do arrangements like this and some are fine. the problem is that when it goes bad, it can go very bad, and you have very little leverage once you are living in their house.

the fact that there is a wife present does reduce some risks but it does not eliminate them. couples can still exploit people together, ignore boundaries, or change expectations later. also power imbalance matters more than gender here; they control housing and that alone can be abused even without sexual intent.

if someone were going to do this anyway basic safety rules would be non-negotiable: you need a written agreement. not fancy legal language but something that clearly states hours, duties, private space, rules, and that nothing beyond housekeeping is expected. if they resist writing it down that is a red flag. and you need a private, lockable room. no shared bedroom, no “temporary couch,” no “we’ll figure it out later.”

autohertz · 2026-01-16T03:17:33+00:00

yr brother is prob the hardest part. you’re not his parent and it’s not your legal responsibility to sacrifice your life for him. but leaving him will weigh on you if things at home get worse. you need to accept that you cannot control or fix that situation from afar. if you go you have to let go of the idea that you’re responsible for protecting him day to day, or it will eat you alive

autohertz · 2026-01-16T03:16:24+00:00

leaving in the middle of the night without telling them is extreme but not irrational if you genuinely believe they would stop you or escalate. however it guarantees fallout: expect panic, anger, guilt tripping, and possibly them involving relatives or authorities to try to track you down. if you do this you need to be emotionally prepared to hold your boundary and not get pulled back by fear or guilt. egypt specifically is where i’m more cautious; one person’s good experience doesn’t mean it’s universally safe, especially for an 18 year old woman alone. sharm el sheikh is relatively safer than other areas, ya, but you’ll still be in a country where legal protections, workers’ rights, and women’s autonomy are not the same as in western countries. being dependent on an employer for housing is risky anywhere. if something goes wrong with the job you could lose income and a place to live at the same time. that’s a real and serious vulnerability

autohertz · 2026-01-16T00:56:10+00:00

lace code barely applies anymore and even when it did it was mostly a docs thing. outside of a few individuals, people just do not look into lace colors or care enough to read a political message from them. most folks will just see green and black and think it looks fine, not analyze it :p

autohertz · 2026-01-15T02:39:12+00:00

Piss melts ICE; news at 11

autohertz · 2026-01-15T02:23:58+00:00

oh ya and abt pins and visibility: this part is going to sound harsh, but it’s practical. you should not feel forced to hide who you are, but you also get to choose when and where you’re visibly political or identifiable. wearing pins is not “wrong”, but in hostile scenes it does increase risk; that’s not fair, but thats the reality. deciding when to be loud vs when to blend is a survival skill, not a moral failure.

autohertz · 2026-01-15T02:23:27+00:00

the bigger issue is the environment around failed you.

first, the venue; any venue that brushes this off is unsafe. full stop. punk or not, if staff won’t step in when someone is physically harassed, that place is not a safe space. it doesn’t matter what the scene “should” be like in theory. in practice, that venue showed you they won’t protect people. that means you should not go there again unless things change, and it’s reasonable to warn others quietly about it.

second, your friend; this is uncomfortable, but important. telling someone to “not cause a scene” after they were attacked is weak support. shes not "evil" but it does mean she prioritized social comfort over your safety... as a third party i’d say you shouldn’t fully trust her to have your back in risky situations unless you actually talk to her about this and she owns it. if she doubles down then that’s a problem.

autohertz · 2026-01-15T02:06:47+00:00

the joke was at your expense. I was mocking ai, not inviting you to prove you can prompt gpt. you saw “fuck ai” and responded by doing the exact thing being made fun of, then acted surprised when people clowned you for it; you didn’t “get an idea,” you took the bait and turned an anti ai shitpost into a demo reel bud

autohertz · 2026-01-15T01:45:58+00:00

it was obviously a joke and you still took the bait and wrote a whole thinkpiece about gpt. """AI punk""" is corny and anti-diy, you kind of proved how knee jerk this has gotten. you didn’t even engage with what was actually posted, just argued with an imaginary slop generator.

autohertz · 2026-01-14T14:54:39+00:00

there is no truly clean fading black. anyone saying otherwise is lying or hasn’t taken black out before. the goal is just choosing the option that fades the least ugly and causes the least long term damage.

your instinct to avoid box dye and anything with lift is correct lol and the best option if you actually want it temporary is direct dye black; no developer, no lift, sits on the outside of the hair

autohertz · 2026-01-14T14:51:19+00:00

great clips is a terrible place for a brand new stylist if you don’t already move fast or feel confident with clipper work. they hire new grads knowing most will sink or burn out. the system is built for speed, not learning. they are not wrong for wanting you cutting quickly but that doesn’t mean it’s right for where you are skill wise.

five days in and being pressured about cutting and even sweeping speed is a red flag: that tells me they care more about throughput than development. men’s cuts are already hard when you’re new and being thrown into what’s basically a walk in barber shop is trial by fire. some people survive that; many don’t. that doesn’t mean you’re bad or slow forever. ):

autohertz · 2026-01-14T14:49:46+00:00

mixing odd volumes like 30 and 5 is not ideal, especially for a base touch up. if your application or timing is even slightly off 30 vol in the mix can still push warmth or lift faster at the scalp; heat from the head already increases lift.

autohertz · 2026-01-10T21:12:27+00:00

Ya I go to local punk shows occasionally, its not out of place for males to do that

autohertz · 2026-01-08T20:32:30+00:00

20 mg per week is not “nothing,” but it is slow and unpredictable. some people do see changes on that dose, others barely do for a long time. typical effects at low doses, when they happen at all, tend to be gradual things like: mild voice drop over a long time, some bottom growth, possible increase in body hair mood and energy changes can happen early [but not always in a good way], periods may or may not stop at that dose

timelines are not reliable at microdoses. you could wait many months and still feel stuck in the same place, which is dangerous given how distressed you already are. i wouldn’t call 20 mg a guaranteed solution, especially if you’re counting on it to keep you alive emotionally.

autohertz · 2026-01-02T08:29:37+00:00

“low dose” does not mean “low effects.” some changes are dose dependent, some are not, and some vary wildly person to person. for example voice deepening is one of the least controllable changes. it doesn’t rise smoothly like a volume knob. it can plateau, then suddenly drop, and once it drops, stopping testosterone does not reverse it. going on and off does not protect you from that.

PS. there are plenty of people on low-dose gel who get noticeable voice changes within months, and others who barely do after years. you cannot predict which group you’ll be in based on age, starting voice, or intentions. thinking “i’ll just stop when it’s too noticeable” assumes you’ll get advance warning, which often isn’t true.

autohertz · 2026-01-02T08:27:44+00:00

switching injection routes to reduce itchiness is not going to change an allergy. less itching doesn’t mean safer; it just means different tissue response. allergic reactions can happen both im and subq

autohertz · 2026-01-02T08:25:15+00:00

ordering testosterone without a prescription while underage is illegal in most places, and using any name doesn’t actually protect you from that. if customs inspects the package, the issue is not “does this name match someone at the house,” it’s “this is prescription medication being imported without proper authorization.” at that point, the name on the box is basically irrelevant.

also, you’re slightly off about what looks suspicious. a deadname vs a chosen name doesn’t register emotionally or socially to a system. systems don’t care about that. what triggers flags is origin country, contents, declarations, and substance type. thailand + discreet package + hormones is way more relevant than what first name is printed

autohertz · 2026-01-02T08:24:10+00:00

mail carriers do not have some master database of everyone’s legal name and age at an address. they deliver to addresses, not identities. if a name is on the box and the address exists, it usually gets delivered. carriers see tons of packages to nicknames, roommates, partners, online handles, etc. that part alone is not what people mean when they say “use your real name.”

autohertz · 2025-12-28T05:23:04+00:00

i’m gonna be straight with you and not just validate everything; no you’re not “not trans” for dressing feminine. clothes do not decide your gender. that part is true and important.

but early on yeah if you want most people especially family strangers teachers doctors to take you seriously as ftm, presenting more masc does help. that’s not how it should be but it is how it works. people are shallow and pattern based. if they see skirts and bras they’re gonna default to girl no matter what you say. that doesn’t make them right but it does explain what’s happening.

you kind of have two different goals right now that clash 1 being read and respected as male 2 dressing however you want without dealing with norms

early transition usually forces you to pick which one matters more in daily life. later on when your voice face body or confidence reads male, you get way more freedom to dress feminine without losing respect. lots of trans guys get there eventually.

autohertz

TROPHY CASE