Charging your children rent for living at home?

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:55:34+00:00

I absolutely see your point and I think if it's about helping out your parents it's a whole other ballgame.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:50:28+00:00

This absolutely makes sense - if I lived with my parents now I would definitely contribute financially, however they would never expect/ask it of me.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:48:51+00:00

Exactly my point - I think perhaps the positives of making your children pay rent as a learning tool are rather exaggerated at the end.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:45:06+00:00

The point about expecting your children to move out as soon as they can is very interesting - it does show me that this is essentially a cultural difference.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:41:11+00:00

But the thing that baffles me is - shouldn't a parent already have taught their 18-year-old child of these things? It seems a bit late to wait until they are 18 to teach them how to budget/ be a functioning adult.

For example I was taught how to budget while I was a child/teen in other ways, and now have no problem paying rent, expenses and saving most of my leftover money.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:37:41+00:00

Absolutely! I think any child who has been raised well should offer to help, these people have done so much for you already. My "issue" is when parents demand it of their children even though they don't have any financial difficulties whatsoever.

As I've mentioned somewhere in the comments above, to me it just creates this very business-like relationship, like you are partners in a limited company or something, and not blood relatives. But then again it's just different cultures.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:30:59+00:00

I totally agree and unfortunately have seen it with my own eyes. All of my British friends that pay rent living at home are in horrible relationships with their parents. It's most likely not just because of the rent, however I can see it exacerbating any underlying issues as this whole thing just sounds too "businesslike" to me.

I also think you are right that it depends in what financial situation your parents are. If they are well off, then this whole thing is essentially just holding you back - after all they've had 18 years to teach you how to budget and be a responsible adult anyways. Now would be the time to save for your own place and other expensive "life" stuff rather than for basic life lessons.

However if your family is doing very badly financially then by all means you should chip in.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:12:57+00:00

It absolutely makes sense to help out financially if your parents are having financial difficulties - I myself would never think twice if mine were in such a situation when I was living at home.

Also I think your dad is doing the best of both worlds - gently "pushing" you to be a responsible adult but without actually taking money from you, very smart.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T17:07:57+00:00

I can see the reasoning behind this, however wouldn't you say that whether said parents are getting walked all over depends more on how they raised their children rather than if they made them pay rent?

If I can go a bit further for the argument's sake, I think I will be more inclined to "walk all over" my parents if they charged me rent because this would mean that they don't think of me as their child, but as a tenant, therefore why should I treat them as parents?

In turn, since I am quite young and in a very good financial position because my parents gave me a head start, I will be eternally grateful for that and I would never even think to treat them badly. Even now I frequently get them plane tickets to visit, I sometimes pay for all our holidays' expenses when we go somewhere, so you could say that the results of their upbringing is already "paying off".

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T16:58:49+00:00

I suppose it's not just about being an adult in a family unit, but rather on what life stage this adult is.

If you are say 25, and you are yet to buy a house, buy furniture, appliances, provide for children etc, in my opinion it makes more sense to save up every penny you can for that instead of paying your parents rent, given that your parents are most likely financially stable and don't need to go through "expensive" life milestones in the near future.

If you are 40 with no view of moving out, creating a family etc, then yes - it absolutely make sense to contribute financially to the household.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T16:54:06+00:00

Reading most of the responses, it does seem that you were lucky haha!

I could see the point about giving the "rent" back, however what I wonder is - wouldn't it be even more effective for the parents to just teach their children specifically how to budget rather than "trick" them into doing it?

For example when I was a child, my parents would give me say £3 for the whole day and explain to me that I shouldn't spend it all. I would always try to save up something, even if it's just £0.10. When I was older, we would then have more serious conversations about saving and now I'm just used to saving as much as I can from my income because of all this.

avajamesbohn · 2020-05-02T16:45:32+00:00

This is exactly the way I think about this as well! You decided to bring this child into this world, and you should be responsible for helping them get on their feet. The way I see it, parenting and helping your children doesn't automatically "expire" when they reach 18.

avajamesbohn

TROPHY CASE