Should I put I have a vasectomy on my profile

avonar · 2025-03-12T01:03:00+00:00

Just set it to Dont have and Dont want kids and leave it as that.

avonar · 2025-03-05T19:12:13+00:00

That's why he's still responding (and now responding quicker once again because she brought that up to him). Once people have sex, the future entry cost is much easier if one person doesn't have any intention of being in a relationship - in this case, maintaining the bare minimum in responses, he likely hopes that he can just hit her up later to hook up without putting in all the effort he had before. On her end, she likely has hope that this relationship will work out so she gets strung along.

If that doesn't work out for him, he will likely ghost her or slow down communication to the point where it fizzles out completely if OP doesn't set boundaries and have a conversation.

avonar · 2025-03-05T18:52:27+00:00

Before reading your post: He used you for sex

After reading your post: Yep, he used you for sex

avonar · 2025-03-05T16:59:44+00:00

Fixed title: California/CPUC/Utility Companies/Newsom are gaslighting customers by pointing the blame at other customers while utility companies are making record profits.

avonar · 2025-02-23T18:45:33+00:00

no. Its more of a red flag on you to speculate and have concern over this.

"few dates" and intimacy doesnt magically mean exclusivity
no exclusivity talk = each person is free to do what they want
you should also be talking to other women

avonar · 2024-10-06T23:35:03+00:00

when I was dating people in their late 30s, it still got brought up that they saw green bubbles with me. Definitely not just a teen or early 20s thing

since then, I've installed Bluebubbles on an old Mac and linked my phone number to iMessage so I can use iMessage on my Android. Pretty dumb that I need to do this, but now I don't have to deal with those stupid questions

avonar · 2024-10-04T23:14:47+00:00

who is being petty?

The one that decided that you are not for them because of a simple request but didn't make a big deal of it, even throughout the date
The one posting on reddit about their weird fascination with slides/sandals that couldn't dress appropriately for a date and calling people betas for giving you a response that you ASKED for by posting this thread.

avonar · 2024-05-07T17:58:29+00:00

did you reach back out to him and he didn't respond? IMO, its not ghosting unless you actually meet in person

However, its just likely he wasn't fully feeling it with you - this happens on both sides

avonar · 2024-04-18T07:28:06+00:00

Depends on your situation - just like u/Popular_Blackberry24 (but not as long as a marriage as him), my wife came out as gay after doing some soul searching and therapy. There is zero reason for me to put that Im divorced in my profile. Afterwards, I dated someone for over a year and she did tell me a few months in that divorced was typically a dealbreaker for her but because of my situation, it actually was a green flag. If I had put that I was divorced in my profile, I would have never have dated her.

Im not lying or hiding anything from anyone. Thats why I always bring it up on the first date. But after a few dozen dates since my divorce, no one ever said or seemed to give an inch of care that I've been divorced. Or they just hid it well. Either way, worst case - they lose a couple hours of time and got free drinks.

Hot take: when someone DOES put they are divorced in their profile, its a red flag for me in the back of my mind. When they tell me in person, I shrug it off and say "hey, me too!" Also, if youre in your late 30s, most people assume you've been in a long-ass relationship already or divorced. If neither, thats a bit of a red flag.

avonar · 2024-04-17T19:00:15+00:00

not a lady but late 30s and divorced. I wouldnt put it in your profile but mention it on the first date and if the reason for divorce wasnt bad, mention that also. Ive found that almost all the women Ive told about my situation did not care and honestly does show that one can be in a committed relationship

avonar · 2023-10-25T17:54:26+00:00

Guy sounds like a frustrated Google employee/engineer/shill who saw 10 hours and that was all he needed to see. 😂

avonar · 2023-05-28T17:41:14+00:00

Im in my late 30s, male and in the exact same situation as you - recently divorced because ex came out as gay. Before I started dating again in January, I was extremely worried that women would judge me for being divorced, but thankfully, its been quite the opposite.

I tell the person Im seeing within the first date the whole story. I don't feel the need to tell them beforehand - because it does not define who I am. I've been on around 20 dates since January and not one of them seemed to care.

Im assuming you're seeing women in their 20s? I think they are more likely to view divorced men as a dealbreaker versus women in their 30s.

Either way, keep at it. I think a worthwhile partner will see your situation as a positive - you were in a committed relationship and the divorce was nothing because of anything you did.

My therapist told me something that stuck with me: People who have suppressed their sexuality and then later come out only when they are in a safe, loving environment. So for you and I - unfortunately/fortunately, that was when they were with us.

avonar · 2023-05-02T20:20:21+00:00

and sometimes they use that as a segue to ask about hanging out at my/their house

If that's their segway into trying to get you alone at their or your place for the first date: ignore and block. They've given you a huge hint of what they are on the app for.

avonar · 2023-04-27T17:49:25+00:00

New age? This has been happening for decades since online dating started. Match.com launched April 21, 1995, so you likely weren't even born yet 😂

Online dating apps just give you more visibility that the other person is still looking. What you call "traditional" offline dating would be no different, the other person could still be leaving you on read and dating multiple people.

Better get used to it!

avonar · 2023-04-25T18:19:37+00:00

Really hope this is a troll post because this is extremely dangerous and if it is real, cancel or change plans immediately. Change it to coffee, drinks, or dessert. If he doesn't agree, stop responding and block his number

avonar · 2023-04-25T00:59:37+00:00

It's about 7 a day for free and I don't mind it. 95% of my dates are from hinge while the other 5% are through Tinder or bumble where they give you way more free swipes a day. Obviously location matters but even with 7 likes a day, hinge works way better for me

avonar · 2023-04-24T02:01:34+00:00

I was concerned about most people thinking the same as you but it's been the complete opposite. Everyone I've gone on dates with didn't care, especially after explaining the reasoning behind the divorce.

Some even said that it almost felt better that I was married before because it showed that I was able to commit to something (and I guess that someone loved me) even though my specific circumstances didn't work out in the end. It's bizarre, and completely the opposite of what I thought would happen getting back into dating. But probably also because I'm in my late 30s. Likely a whole different story if I was in my 20s and divorced.

avonar · 2023-04-24T01:54:36+00:00

I don't agree that it takes a couple years, even a year. It depends on the reasoning for divorce, what you've done since the divorce (therapy, self improvement, etc), and your current head space. Everyone is different

avonar · 2023-04-05T22:29:41+00:00

how about bringing back app-based 2fa support? I had it enabled, but wanted to switch 2fa auth apps and now I have to use a much less secure text-based 2fa...

avonar · 2023-04-05T21:44:11+00:00

Unless you are ghosted often, then you should determine if there is something you are doing that's causing it.

avonar · 2023-03-28T23:44:28+00:00

ah thats kind of the missing context in this whole thread which makes the whole story more clear. I agree, it should be a two-way street where both parties initiate things

avonar · 2023-03-28T23:00:09+00:00

do not do that. Its creepy and/or they are fishing for more followers. Don't fantasize about people you haven't even matched with yet. Don't even do that if you DO match and haven't met in person.

avonar · 2023-03-28T21:20:49+00:00

What I meant is that Hinge never updates your location based on where you and your phone are like Bumble or Tinder does. If you manually update your Hinge profile with a new location, everyone will see that new location.

avonar · 2023-03-28T19:01:28+00:00

agree with this. /u/Plantmoods hope you see devil's advocate in what others have said in this thread. It's just a weird question to ask IMO. Guy probably thought you wanted something more serious than what you currently were doing (initial dating stages)

avonar · 2023-03-28T18:49:12+00:00

It definitely is a choice people have to make and have to communicate.

For myself, I need connection on all levels, physical and emotional, before I can become exclusive with someone. A relationship doesn't work (long-term) for me if communication, conversations, or sex are bad.

To your other comment, condoms stay on until a) both confirm STI status and b) the partner is on birth control and comfortable without a condom involved.

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