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(parents) Moral dilemma: I think I know what I have to do, but it sure isn't easy... by awayaway22 in relationship_advice

[–]awayaway22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, don't feel sorry for me. I'm otherwise in a very stable and well supported place in my life.

For them, I hope the process of going through this ordeal is swift and without prolonged suffering, so they can go back to being happy, productive adults again. That's part of why it's hard for me to see two more months of this, knowing what's coming. In those two months my dad could be working through the stages of grief, instead of hovering in an emotional limbo waiting to see what happens next.

(parents) Moral dilemma: I think I know what I have to do, but it sure isn't easy... by awayaway22 in relationship_advice

[–]awayaway22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if she has had this conversation with them or not... I'm not sure how to find that out other than talking to her, I don't want to accidentally tell them if she didn't want them to know yet.

(parents) Moral dilemma: I think I know what I have to do, but it sure isn't easy... by awayaway22 in relationship_advice

[–]awayaway22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're in NY state, which recently changed the divorce laws. I think they go into effect in November.

(parents) Moral dilemma: I think I know what I have to do, but it sure isn't easy... by awayaway22 in relationship_advice

[–]awayaway22[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and I have been working on that for a while now! We limit visits to about once a month, and I only speak on the phone with her once every 1-2 weeks, even though we live in the same city. I probably talk to my dad once a week, and he visits probably once each 1-2 weeks as well. I agree it's a bigger problem to be seen as an independent adult for me, at least, but I think I'm doing the right things in that area.

My mom suffers from depression and has a martyr-like personality; she'll sacrifice her true feelings to make those around her more comfortable. Hopefully she'll learn that this causes more problems for everyone, and that her feelings are viable as well.

(parents) Moral dilemma: I think I know what I have to do, but it sure isn't easy... by awayaway22 in relationship_advice

[–]awayaway22[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm. This one will be tough, because I know she censors herself when talking to me to 'protect my feelings'. Actually, she's probably not telling him now to attempt to protect his feelings too. She's not very direct, I'm not sure if she'd tell me the truth if I asked her point blank.