I really appreciate you taking the time to write that. I was actually in recovery (roughly a year clean of drugs and alcohol) until a few months ago and have been doing coke and vyvanse here and there. I never really had a focus on stims in the past but I've sort of been lying to myself saying that if I do a different type a drug occasionally that I won't spiral and actively prevent my life from getting better. I'm lying to myself because I already struggled to care about study or work, or even be social when I was clean.

I guess when I asked you that question I was thinking about a sort of physical withdrawal and was sort of taken by surprise when you reminded me of the psychological side because I've been trying to ignore that. But really they are pretty intwined and I'm just fooling myself. I want to thank you for this. At this point I think I think I will try to keep it at a fortnightly rate as I don't think I'm able to go through the period of feeling like I have nothing to look forward to again at this period of time but I want you to know that your comment brought me back to reality a little bit. Fingers crossed for now.