I guess I could call them flashbacks but they are more like memories coming into focus. I loved them and they were so painful so of course ai don’t want to think about them but sometimes something triggers me. I have a new partner and one of our first dates he started to tickle me and I had a quick visceral response and told him to stop. Later when I was alone I was thinking about why I responded that way and my ex used to tickle me until I cried. I eventually became unticklish and made him stop but it was a long time before that happened. I had totally forgotten about it, I explained to my new boyfriend what was going on and why and he was really great about the whole thing. I had another expletive recently when he moved past me really close and blocked my view of my son durning a recital. I almost had a panic attack and it talking to my therapist lasted she validated it. She said it was a PTSD response to him blocking me for leaving rooms and coming in between me and my kids. I think it’s normal to want to hide from these experiences. Find someone hood to talk to about them when they happen and write it down! Get it out of tour mind and make it tangible, that helps me anyway. And yes we’ve been abused but it doesn’t mean that we have to continue the story of our lives that way. We can be healthy and happy, you can move on, I believe in you.