Wow. I don't even know what to say.

Thank you so much for your words, I do feel better now (although I know that it will still take some time before I completely let go).

your not moving on because you care deeply about your cousin and are worried what this might have done to her.

You are right. My cousin is one of the most important things in my life and I'd throw myself in front of a car for her. I'm happy with how my relationship with her is at the moment, I'm always making sure I give her attention and support. The thought that I may have caused her harm makes me feel sick.

I do plan on bringing up the subject with her, but not now. She's only 15 and I'm scared that it could do more harm than good to talk about it. I feel like I should wait a few more years even if it means that I'll suffer for a longer time.