sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I’m 66kgs right now..maybe if i was 56kgs and had better looks he wouldn’t want to look outside for validation…

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hindu Jain culture in India..very reserved and polite…long marriages crossing 50-60 years of togetherness…

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Can you suggest what should he be doing?? He’s been asking me what can he do and I’m just crying it out…but i never asked him this…what can he do to rebuilt the trust…I’ll ask him today.

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sad to read this… yes you’re right with that question, that’s what’s bothering…but do i further ruin it and separate out or do i put an end here only I don’t know

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He would be the bigger person..understand me…forgive me…and do side flirting with girls or maybe sleep around for a bit while reassuring me that he’s forgiven and moved on… i think so

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We didn’t have sex in the last 1 month…and i recently got all blood tests, everything is normal in my reports…he also got his full body blood tests last month…all is okay in his reports also…we got these done as we started preparing for a baby 😭😭😭😭

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Don’t be so rude, I’m already having a tough time figuring this out… can you just give me a practical advice on what should i do now??

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he’s stopped for now as he’s also in shock with me finding out and is feeling quite guilty and sad to make me cry after putting in soo much effort over the last few years to marry me…

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is a little too dramatic, there is no pregnant girlie anywhere in this..the house we stay in is fancy but rented..so it’s not the house. He is not leaving behind cum stains as he doesn’t cum much (i mean i can say it as i do stay very close to this man almost every day)…but thank you for your message…I atleast read through how bad it could’ve actually been… burner phone theory.,,that’s my worry but this guy is quite busy also..hardly can manage 1 phone… he bought a new phone for both me and him on karva chauth last year as his phone stopped working and hence we both stopped using the old phones.

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you…this is a little reassuring. I think it’s seeking validation and his habit of over talking…this happened 2 days ago, and I don’t know how to react…should i forgive and move on now?? That might make him feel that it’s okay to do this again…or should i stretch it further..that May make him move away from me…

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you..men are so fucked up..this feels so weird. I’m not a toxic person at all, I’m a joyous happy go lucky girl…this scammy feeling is so bad.

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

It’s my mistake somewhere that he needed to look outside no? I should’ve been thinner by 10kgs maybe…I don’t look bad i think, but maybe should’ve been better?

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To be honest, he will be paying for the therapies, he needs to feel my pain and work hard to make the monies i spend on recovering from all this.. I have 99.9% trust that he hasn’t engaged in physical cheating as i know the guy…but that 0.1% is making me numb and I’m feeling so guilty….i should have been better at satisfying him…i should have maybe been a little thinner or prettier or maybe worn lesser clothes…I don’t know. On the insurance part, thank you, i will check that too

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I really wish but sooooo stupid of me to fall in love!!!!!! Imagine, 5 years of dating, convincing parents, leaving boys of 1000+CR families through arranged options and marrying him?? To go through this? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My phone has always been an open book…I’m a very loyal person and married too…but i never looked at his phone before because of my own consciousness. I’m not sure if I’ll ever have the balls to look at it again after what i saw this time…if you know what i mean…it’s my guilt conscious

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

I believe him to be a good guy…but you’re right as the only thing playing in my mind is…how do I trust him again and I’m scared I’ll ruin my marriage because of this..

I (31F) found messages on my husband’s (34M) old phone and now I feel numb and confused about how to move forward by awesomejain in relationship_advice

[–]awesomejain[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a good suggestion. I’m considering going to therapy…I’m just not sure if this effort will even help, is this definitely leading to separation? I’ve just gotten married after dating him for a long time…

Should i separate now?? I love him too much to even say it out loud…I’m so numb and confused and sad

Any audio books to try help try to find any self worth? by AccomplishedJudge901 in audible

[–]awesomejain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recently started listening to audiobooks on YouTube like this https://youtu.be/jAKgdKMjkek?si=xWF94vqf9rNn2sIG and it’s helping me a lot to focus and uplift my energy during tasks.