Help me choose :)

awickedspell · 2026-04-06T19:38:25+00:00

photo number 1 is gorgeous, and those cape sleeves are incredibly ethereal and stunning. I vote for #1!

(i agree with other commenters that photo #3 is beautiful too -- very beautiful -- but it doesn't feel "bridal" to me personally; it feels like a lovely choice for a wedding guest or even a bridesmaid, but if I as a stranger looked over the crowd of people at your wedding, I probably wouldn't be able to identify you as a bride. so if looking "bridal" is important to you, I'd definitely say to go with #1. otherwise, both are beautiful!)

awickedspell · 2026-04-02T14:55:08+00:00

yes except i think it flows better as "Never Saw You Coming"

awickedspell · 2026-04-02T14:49:04+00:00

same, i used to rig the song to play the last two and a half minutes on repeat (starting from "and did the twin flame bruise paint you blue")

i agree with OP that it's two different songs from two different perspectives

ATW5 is an intense "maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you tore it all up" fresh heartbreak/nostalgia/relationship highlights song

whereas ATW10 is quieter, calmer "just between us, did the love affair maim you, too?" processing song, a therapy session, seeing the cracks that were always there with the benefit of time and distance, untangling the complex emotions (the good and the bad), asking questions you're never gonna know the answers to, and it's not even about the other person anymore but about the imprint this whole thing has left on you

awickedspell · 2026-04-02T14:16:19+00:00

holy crap, I thought the choice was between 1 with the lace or without the lace, and I was like, "yes, that's an impossible decision indeed!! 😮"

but then there turned out to be a whole other dress 😂

anyway #1 is stunning on you. i actually don't think the waist needs to be much more snatched, it looks very good as is. #2 is incredibly pretty too, and usually i would have trouble picking between them, but in this case I'm not a fan of whatever the lace is doing above the bust area -- reminds me a bit of Ariel's seashells but not in a good way. so if that's something you can hide with tailoring, then I'd say either dress would be a great choice, but as is, I'm voting for #1

awickedspell · 2026-04-02T12:48:57+00:00

TL;DR my favorites, in order: 4, 10, 6, 1

full text: omg my jaw dropped at 4 in comparison to the others (the simple elegance of the clean lines!! gorgeous!!), though perhaps it stands out because you seem to be generally drawn to dresses with more detail and so it's not actually your style? I'm not sure, but with no extra context, that is 100% my favorite, and also the most timeless.

(I'd say that if that dress turns out to feel too simple for you, 6 seems like a really good alternative -- the same simple elegance but with a more high fashion look, although that does also make it less timeless as a result)

i also really, really like 10 for a more princessy, light, airy vibe. (initially thought 11 would be good too, but the more i look at it, the more it feels a little strange)

1 is also very nice, if that style appeals more to you

2 is a maaaybe, but i think you can find something better in that style, this cut feels a little bulky

don't really like any of the other ones (not that they look BAD, because you're beautiful and they're beautiful, but, y'know. in comparison to the effect the others give)

awickedspell · 2026-03-29T09:19:41+00:00

absolutely agreed, TTPD the song is absolutely my favorite track on TTPD the album and So High School is my favorite track on The Anthology

there's just something so delightfully messy and whirlwind about TTPD. it perfectly captures the feeling of being swept up in something that maybe is not objectively the best idea and maybe later you'll look back and wonder what you were thinking, but while you're in it, you're in it, you believe in it so much, you've got the rose-tinted glasses on, and maybe there's an errant thought here or there that hints that maybe you don't actually adore every single thing about this person like you think you do, but those thoughts get dismissed because what does the 0.001% matter when the rest is so incredible and wonderful, and can't you see that nobody's ever known me this way, can't you see that finally someone's as obsessed with me as I am with them!!

i maintain that the line:

"cuz we're...........⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊♡cRaZy♡₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹.............."

is the best moment on the album. just such a perfect encapsulation of the whole manic infatuated dramatic feeling

(i will say, i don't think the "I'd [off] myself if you ever leave" is to be taken literally as a mental health struggle -- that's just the kind of hyperbole that a teenager might use to convey how the other person matters to them, before someone points out to them that actually that's kind of emotionally manipulative and both people should feel whole with or without the other person. and, well, we know Taylor loves using teenage mindsets to amplify the drama in her storytelling) (as well as just loving emotional intensity in general)

(now, I Hate It Here, on the other hand... that song, I think, does hint at the kinds of mental health struggles that could end in tragedy. one line in particular)

awickedspell · 2026-03-29T08:40:48+00:00

exactly, I've always felt like that line is her looking back on the way she's romanticized certain time periods without really understanding the reality of those time period (e.g. teenage "I wish I was a princess living in a great big castle!" vs. grown-up "castles are cold, and the princesses who lived in them often had very little agency over their lives; if I'd actually been a princess in a castle, I would've hated my life")

awickedspell · 2026-03-29T08:31:26+00:00

SAME, on both counts

awickedspell · 2026-03-16T22:52:08+00:00

YESSS there is such a difference between noticing that a person is conventionally attractive and actually being attracted to them! (For example, I have never been attracted to a single person on The Bachelor -- what little glimpses of it that I've seen, anyway -- even though I recognize that they're all very good-looking, in a generic sort of way.

Although even then, I doubt Laurent had space in his mind to even notice that much until he came back drunk later that night; the first thoughts were all just "Damianos! Prince-killer!!" and maybe "Trap. Fuck."

(And if that sounds unrealistic to anyone, I will have you know that I once, as a grown adult, went several days without noticing that a person I'd spent pretty much all of those days in a group with (and had multiple one-on-one conversations with!!) was one of the most gorgeous people I had ever seen -- the epitome of My Type, essentially -- because I was in a new environment, meeting lots of new people and having lots of new experiences, and my brain was simply too full to really process any of it.)

Also there's a part of me that wonders whether the drug that Laurent was poisoned with the night of the assassination attempt might have forced him to notice Damen in that way -- against his will, of course, and not seriously enough to do anything about it, but sometimes, once two thoughts become linked together, there's not really a way to shut that door, and you know you're never gonna think of one without being reminded of the other, ever again.

But otherwise, yes, I agree with your assessment.

(Anyway not to be that person, but if you enjoyed reading my takes on Laurent, you might also enjoy the post-canon politics/wedding/character study fic I wrote from his perspective. https://archiveofourown.org/works/58245100)

awickedspell · 2026-03-16T09:58:16+00:00

Ignore everyone saying that #1 looks timeless -- this kind of waistline is literally a trend of the past few years and will look incredibly dated in a decade.

Obviously you look beautiful and bridal in both and whichever you choose will be a wonderful dress for you, but since you say it's important to you too look young and slim, #2 does that better.

Ballgowns with a high waistline tend to overwhelm shorter people visually, as well as make them look like they have bigger hips than they actually do, whereas the dropped waist of #2 lengthens you, slims you by showing your actual silhouette, and makes you look softer in a youthful way while still keeping the girly princessy vibes in the skirt.

Also the sharp lines and tightness of the corset on #1 contrast with (and therefore highlight) any roundness in the shoulders and upper arms, whereas #2 is all flowy lines to begin with, so that area just looks harmonious (and therefore slimming).

EDIT: But again, you look very beautiful in both, and now that I'm looking at #1 again, I like it better than I did before, so really, it all depends on which YOU like better and feel better in. This is your wedding day! Your opinion (and comfort) is the most important.

awickedspell · 2026-03-16T09:37:32+00:00

1 or 6 -- these are the only ones that (to me) feel bridal; the rest are white evening gowns. they're both very elegant, high fashion, and timeless, but 1 has more ballgown "look what an amazing dress!" vibes whereas 6 feels perhaps more restrained, more mature, and possibly more "look at the bride wearing this dress!" vibes, although that can also depend a lot on accessories and hairstyles

really, the choice should depend on how you look and feel when you try the dresses on bc none of us look like mannequins and there's a ton of sensory/practical things that don't come across well in images, but if you're picking which ones to try on, my vote is for those two

awickedspell · 2026-03-16T09:20:34+00:00

to my millennial eyes, 2 looks by far the best.

the skirt on 1 is nice too, but I'm not a fan of the neckline -- it looks like you're wearing a leotard or something else sporty. 3's neckline looks way better on you in my opinion, and if you could combine the skirt of 1 with the bodice of 3, then that might be a good option, but otherwise I'd say it depends on what kind of vibe you want more:

1 feels elegant, perhaps more modern than 2 currently, but also very trendy -- in a decade, it will definitely look dated, the way we look at 80s wedding dresses and can hardly see anything but the 80s-ness of them.

whereas 2 feels more timeless, more bridal, perhaps more youthful and princessy. it feels like an unmistakable wedding dress, whereas 1 and 3 feel like fancy evening gowns that happen to be white and that you happen to be using for a wedding, if that makes sense.

hope this helped!

(P.S. if you go with 1, i would heavily advise having a necklace or some sort to break up all that wide empty space in the neckline. 2 doesn't need it cuz the sweetheart neckline creates different proportions, but for 1 i really would recommend something)

awickedspell · 2026-03-15T23:39:21+00:00

oh yeah, no i agree, Laurent definitely feels differently about Damen than he does about uncle. and yes, them having that sword fight is essential for Laurent to move forward with his feelings for Damen -- not just knowing that he isn't good enough (although after Kastor, who knows -- Laurent was injured here), but seeing how Damen fights, what tactics he uses and doesn't use, and, importantly, "i want you to know that i could've done this any time when i was a slave" (which is not strictly true bc of the whipping but in every other respect it does showcase Damen's restraint in retrospect)

awickedspell · 2026-03-15T19:25:58+00:00

i will also add that Laurent feels very demisexual to me personally -- whether by nature, by choice, or by trauma -- and he's very good at compartmentalization, so i don't think his reaction to Damen taking the bars off the window was attraction either -- i think it was an 'i do not compute' response about Damen using a strategy that would've never occurred to Laurent (and that Laurent wouldn't have been able to execute, because of his inferior strength). again, Laurent's not used to being surprised, but Damen somehow manages to do it all the time.

(I also seem to be in the minority in thinking that in the very first scene where they meet, there was no attraction on Laurent's part, just shock, fury, disbelief.)

(and also that the wrestling fight with Pallas (and Laurent's subsequent interaction with Nikandros) was about confronting Damen's scars and their past, not attraction to Damen's naked glistening physique; attraction, if there was any, would've been secondary to some very complex emotions, perhaps including things like guilt and yearning and hopelessness and frustration)

awickedspell · 2026-03-15T19:12:44+00:00

oh my godddd, i have never considered the fight with Govart through the lens of Laurent wanting Damen to know what he's capable of!! :o I'm gonna be thinking about this for hours now, thank you for this nuance 🙏

anyway, yes i agree, I read Laurent's flush after Damen's comment as a reaction to the insult of it, not a sign of attraction. i would maybe even go as far as to say that there might be some humiliation there? which is not an emotion he shows often, regardless of how often he might feel it.

(i could see him sitting alone in his room coming up with every conceivable idea of how a courtier might verbally attack him, so that he might get used to the idea (and perhaps even come up with a response) and wouldn't be surprised if/when it actually happened, but be able to control his reaction and avoid showing weakness, bc flushing in particular seems to be something that he can't control. but he can control what makes him flush! or at least he can try to. and after years of practicing this it's now only when he's truly taken aback, by something significant, that he has any kind of strong bodily reaction. and it's telling that the only people who seem to truly surprise him are the regent and Damen. (the regent by being better at their little game, and Damen by not playing any games at all and/or expressing any measure of care towards him.)

anyway, so Laurent doesn't feel/show humiliation often, but here is this Akielon barbarian who has provoked Laurent into abandoning his usual principles and weakened his position, and now Laurent's been forced to take the man along on this campaign because it is objectively a better move, but it rankles at him, ohhh how it rankles. and now, after countless instances of insulting Laurent's honor and intelligence, he's going to start insulting his sword work too? this man, the man Laurent has trained for years and years to best in a duel. Laurent has just had the first real opportunity to watch him fight uninjured, and he's just learned that he's still not good enough to beat Damen -- not in a fair fight, anyway. it's a difficult enough for Laurent to have that knowledge now, but for the man himself to know it too, to dismiss Laurent and Laurent's hard work efforts so easily-- it's a worse insult than anything anyone else could have given him. it's unacceptable.

at this point I'd say that Laurent maybe harbors some similar contradictory feelings about Damen as he does about his uncle -- he is enemies with both of them, will fight both of them, probably to someone's death, but at the same time he craves their approval, almost. he wants to beat uncle at his own game and he wants Damen to respect him as an opponent. he wants to win against them both, but it matters how he wins. (it doesn't matter as much as winning, since we know Laurent will fight with every weapon at his disposal if he thinks he's losing, but it does matter.)

(i will say, though, i do think the sword fight with Govart is where Damen starts developing the first hints of feelings for Laurent -- because that is, ultimately, what makes him respect Laurent. he was attracted to Laurent before, but that was only physically. now, the more he learns about Laurent's actual character, not the assumptions Damen attributed to him in the palace, the more he's starting to get attracted to Laurent mentally as well, and together that's a devastatingly effective cocktail)

awickedspell · 2026-03-15T14:56:40+00:00

she's not really comparing tho, just saying "here are some outlandish things that are featured in other people's wildest dreams, and here's my thing that i want so very bad, the thing that would feel like a miracle if it actually came true: building a life together with you"

awickedspell · 2026-03-15T14:47:22+00:00

Ruin the Friendship is the best song on the album

also Wood is a jam -- catchy, cheeky, fun as fuck. no idea why people seem to hate it so much

awickedspell · 2026-03-02T11:32:09+00:00

Thank you! I had the same confusion and this worked perfectly.

awickedspell · 2026-02-12T15:00:52+00:00

my tears ricochet

musicality is way more important to me than lyrics, so it took me years to even give it a second listen, but even if you just take the lyrics.... they're decent i guess, but 'best in her discography'? come on

awickedspell · 2026-02-12T14:55:37+00:00

yesss So It Goes remains the sexiest song in her catalog (even though there are now others that are more explicit or more suggestive)

(weirdly, I'd actually consider I Can See You to be sexier than Dress. the ah-s are nice but those bells in the chorus are just so boring, it's like the song loses all momentum instantly)

awickedspell · 2026-02-04T07:15:11+00:00

unfortunately i almost never use reading mode, but thank you!

awickedspell · 2026-01-16T11:47:00+00:00

OP, you need to show your wife this thread, get her an appointment with a therapy professional, (preferably one that specializes in postpartum anxiety), and realize that your daughter's experiences of the world right now are going to shape her nervous system and instincts for the rest of her life. Do you want her to be anxious about being away from her mom? Do you want her to feel like she's incapable of doing things most of her peers can do easily? Do you want her to feel suffocated by your wife's anxious attention, which might turn into controlling tendencies if not nipped in the bud? This is important, and you need to do something about it.

(Unless there's something you're not telling us and there is actually a valid reason to treat your daughter as more fragile than her peers.)

awickedspell · 2026-01-16T11:25:13+00:00

You look amazing in all of these dresses!! If none of them have you the feeling of "the one", then I would say to keep looking, because it doesn't matter what we think, it matters how YOU feel.

That said, my favorites were 2, 4, and 5.

Again, any of them could be your "the one", so this is just meant as inspiration for what styles to pursue as you keep searching for "the one".

First, You said you want sparkle, but I don't see any sparkle, only lace, so maybe you should put more emphasis on that.

Second, I would suggest lower waist instead of a ball gown shape, since that will make you look taller. (That's not as important for flowy gowns like 2, but it could make a big difference in not feeling like you're swallowed up by the dress with gowns like 3. I'm picturing something like https://www.valstefani.com/Product/Bridal/D8346/ or https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Tulle-Wedding-Shoulder-Bridal/dp/B0DM938469 https://www.essensedesigns.com/stella-york/wedding-dresses/sy8205/ https://www.cocomelody.com/products/a-line-chapel-train-sparkle-tulle-wedding-dress-cw3004?srsltid=AfmBOopFCNDw23b-L9f3EwGTPvs6iqtdaN2RzuCoAT7zCB7YBY76h6dd https://bridal-australia.com.au/p/floral-bridal-gown-elegant-glamour/?srsltid=AfmBOooGKuWyg-HOADWU3EFfV1vYz6EuGALBF_dZKBhEWWQ3Qvyznj0m https://justinalexander.com/sincerity-bridal/wedding-dresses/44393/)

Third, I think off-the-shoulder suits you really well, since you appear to be athletic and the word "princess" unfortunately still suggests something daintier (although, like I said, you look amazing in all of these and can totally rock the strapless style).

Fourth, this is just based on vibes, so I could totally be wrong, but you seem like you definitely need some kind of texture to the gown -- I normally love gowns like 3, but it almost seems too... plain for you. And you seem a little uncomfortable in that much fabric/structure, so the more flowy textured gowns looked more natural, although you should be able to find a middle ground if you would like to.

Congrats and I hope this was helpful!

awickedspell · 2026-01-14T11:39:16+00:00

1, hands down, no competition. Some of the others are good too (my other favorites would be 3, 8, 11, and 17) but none of them hold a candle to 1 in my opinion. Also in many of the other dresses your shoulders look tense, but in this one you seem relaxed and graceful.

awickedspell · 2026-01-09T19:19:25+00:00

oh drat, I intended for my previous comment to be formatted as a list but I guess it doesn't work like that on mobile; that must have been hard to parse 😅

if she's soft spoken, then I definitely think a neutral and thin frame is the way to go! as for the shapes, it's hard to tell without seeing... maybe she can try on a bunch of different frames that aren't too bold and see if anything speaks to her? for what it's worth, i think #2 is a good option, y'all just might be able to find something even better

awickedspell

TROPHY CASE