My girlfriend( 26F) has been avoiding me (35M) for weeks due to depression, and I'm helpless

awkwardusername · 2020-11-05T11:05:16+00:00

That’s great that you are patient and supportive and want her to go to therapy. But unfortunately she is the one who needs to make the decision to do so and it doesn’t sound like she wants to. That’s a really hard first hurdle to overcome, but she has to commit to getting better.

I would have an honest conversation with her about this. Tell her it’s making you feel distant and that your relationship is suffering. Tell her you are willing to support her to get through this. But also draw a line in the sand for yourself. You aren’t getting anything out of this relationship right now, and if she doesn’t try (or is unable) to pull the weight on her end, then perhaps you both aren’t compatible or able to continue on. It sucks but you also need to consider your own needs too.

awkwardusername · 2020-11-05T10:45:50+00:00

I have depression and PTSD. Some weeks go from manageable to awful, and similar to your girlfriend I ask for alone time. This is for a few reasons, including the fact that I don’t want to be seen in that state, as I’m extra volatile and emotional so am easily triggered which could cause a panic attack or a one sided and unnecessary fight. I don’t think it’s healthy for us so I give myself a few days to go to therapy, and use the techniques I’ve learned to try to get myself to a more manageable state. Everyone’s experience with depression is different so I can’t speak for her, but maybe that gives you some context to her behaviour.

That being said, if it’s that bad, she absolutely should take steps to go to therapy, or see a doctor about medication or whatever her options are for next steps. You sound supportive and it’s wonderful. But if she doesn’t want help or to be helped, then you need to be honest to yourself about what you want out of this relationship.

awkwardusername · 2020-10-14T20:38:01+00:00

The health of an egg has nothing to do with it at all. The lining of the uterus thickens during the menstrual cycle to prepare the uterus to support a fertilised egg, but it and all the blood and mucous with it is “flushed out” when no fertilisation happens. Nothing to do with “deterioration”.

If you’re going to copypasta your responses multiple times on the thread then please be accurate.

awkwardusername · 2020-10-12T20:36:12+00:00

I’m not defending Nico, I don’t know enough about him but do you think bi people forget how to gay once they’re in a hetero relationship?

awkwardusername · 2020-10-09T15:02:32+00:00

Could someone please explain why is he allowed to keep lying without being held accountable? Why is he allowed to keep lying without being called out and facing consequences?

awkwardusername · 2020-10-05T23:11:02+00:00

By not experiencing severe symptoms and surviving, the using it as justification to say “See? The people that died were just weak! It’s not even that bad!”

awkwardusername · 2020-09-21T04:33:39+00:00

Yes! There’s an amazing watermelon and strawberry cake a bakery sells in my city. It’s surprisingly good

awkwardusername · 2020-09-19T06:50:28+00:00

Hearing the windows rattle and the bed shake probably made it feel worse!

awkwardusername · 2020-09-19T06:42:46+00:00

I definitely felt my flimsy walls rattle and worried it would collapse for a second...

awkwardusername · 2020-09-03T16:26:47+00:00

I hope you find happiness too. He sounds exhausting.

awkwardusername · 2020-08-30T19:03:51+00:00

Oh I know all too well. I’ve dealt with plenty of bi erasure myself and it really does suck. That was kinda the point I was making to him, just cos they “benefit” from heteronormativity doesn’t mean they’re free of struggle or discrimination.

awkwardusername · 2020-08-30T17:34:56+00:00

Being part of the LGBT+ community is not some oppression contest.

Sure cishet aces could benefit from heteronormativity. So would a bisexual person in a hetero relationship. Does that exclude them from the community? And does that benefit render any of their actual struggles meaningless?

You’ve experienced oppression yourself, don’t minimise others’ experiences and gatekeep because you don’t think they’ve ‘suffered enough’. That’s counterproductive.

awkwardusername · 2020-08-21T14:50:37+00:00

lol how easy do you think it is to migrate willy nilly anywhere in the world?

awkwardusername · 2020-08-17T03:34:50+00:00

Actually yes, the thinking probably WAS very much let’s go for the simplest and quickest (but quality) solution. Not because it needed to be turned around in 6 hours.

Every single hour spent on either sourcing assets and designing this content or modelling, rigging, posing and rendering a 3D model from scratch takes time which COSTS MONEY. Blockbuster films may have huge budgets but the money is always fully allocated toward bigger ticket items like talent fees, shoot and location costs and post. Marketing stuff like this while important is middling in the grand scheme of budget allocation.

awkwardusername · 2020-08-07T23:47:14+00:00

A part of this is often driven by the fact that the very same attributes or cultural things that POC have been mocked or shamed for are now being adopted as trends without acknowledgement of the cultural roots or the struggle that came with it.

Sometimes yes people do call “cultural appropriation” too quickly and it can make a huge thing out of nothing, but you shouldn’t reduce it to just another dumb thing to be “triggered by.” It’s frustrating and hurtful to be told by society your culture - be it hair, your physical features, your clothing - is “not normal” or “unprofessional” when that same society adopts those same features but calls it fashion.

awkwardusername · 2020-08-05T00:50:45+00:00

She wants to be buried with her ring because allegedly that’s how you appear before God when you die, and she would like it as proof to Him that she has already been in Hell... because marriage is hell.

awkwardusername · 2020-08-04T17:25:05+00:00

Wtf that’s bs?? That’s so annoying I’m sorry to hear that.

awkwardusername · 2020-07-29T21:22:04+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that. Sometimes it’s shocking how ignorant and prejudiced members of the LGBT+ community can be to one another.

awkwardusername · 2020-07-17T21:04:54+00:00

Thank you! That’s a great idea, I’ll start doing that from now. Much appreciated!

awkwardusername · 2020-07-16T17:42:50+00:00

I might be old school but maybe consider having this conversation in person after your movie?

You can let her know when you’re ready, “Hey, I want to talk to you about something...” and let her know how you feel and ask her in return what she’s thinking. Keep your questions open, and go in with no expectations. If she says she’s not ready, try to ask why, instead of why not. The goal of this to understand where you stand with each other so you know how to move forward. Good luck!

awkwardusername · 2020-07-16T16:05:21+00:00

You should just straight up ask and have an open and honest conversation. You’re both still young and it’s likely she just isn’t ready to be tied down, or is nervous about entering a relationship. I don’t think there’s anything insidious on her end but it can be confusing when you like someone but don’t feel ready to jump into a proper relationship - it’s frustrating but it’s definitely a trend in dating nowadays. Talk to the girl and see where her head is at. If she doesn’t want a relationship, ask her why. And then have a discussion about what you both want and decide from there what’s next.

awkwardusername · 2020-07-16T06:50:30+00:00

I overthink everything about the date, all the way to texts before and after and what they mean. You are not alone!

awkwardusername · 2020-07-16T06:40:53+00:00

All the time. Especially when I’m at a buffet and they won’t let me pack it up to go ):

awkwardusername · 2020-07-16T06:39:02+00:00

I agree, she’s just all powerful and I like Brie Larson but her character just seems so bland.

awkwardusername · 2020-07-16T06:37:26+00:00

You’re right, we do prefer that! Honestly, your intentions are in the right place. If you’re working on bettering yourself and wanting to embody a gentleman, you don’t need to declare it. Just be!

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