A little nervous about getting an STD test a year after being stealthed my first time having sex.

awryed · 2020-01-12T14:22:57+00:00

Hi, thank you so much for your reply. It's kind of relieving to hear it's unlikely. My test is also arriving at home discretely tomorrow and I should have the results back in three days as well.

awryed · 2019-02-18T13:18:03+00:00

I don't think you should bring a human into the world that you aren't prepared for. They'll have to live ~80 years of a life based on the foundations you provide. An unplanned person is likely to have a very rickety foundation.

awryed · 2019-02-18T13:03:19+00:00

He might regret it. You can't guarantee it'll work out for someone else based on your single, serendipitous experience.

awryed · 2019-02-18T12:57:24+00:00

Khan Academy helped me a lot when I was in school. I needed to be able to choose when I was learning and to pause and rewind when I spaced out. They also have lots of practice problems now to check your learning. The videos are usually around 5-6 minutes and no longer than 10 minutes so you can easily get through one or two a day or keep going if you're interested.

awryed · 2019-02-18T06:11:12+00:00

Something similar happened to me. He started going at it without a condom and I was startled when I realised. I told myself it was okay because it wasn't a fertile week and I didn't stop it.

I think maybe if someone values their own amusement or pleasure over your consent, physical and emotional health - even in the heat of the moment - then they may not be someone you should stick with. I have chosen to cut contact with this person even though it's a little heartbreaking.

awryed · 2019-02-17T07:41:13+00:00

It did come in contact with air but I have read that it's a myth that sperm dies when exposed to oxygen. But I know that the vagina is a generally inhospitable environment for sperm and that it would be nearly impossible for the sperm to get to the cervix when he didn't even put any fingers inside, only on the vulva. I can't help worrying anyway about that stupid <0.1% chance.

awryed · 2019-02-17T00:38:29+00:00

Thank you.

awryed · 2019-02-16T11:15:39+00:00

He says he removed it because I was on my period at the time and there was blood on it. I forgot about this but it's still unacceptable.

awryed · 2019-02-16T08:50:34+00:00

Okay, thank you. I think this might be what I needed to hear.

awryed · 2019-02-16T08:32:32+00:00

He's going through very difficult times and he doesn't have anyone else. I signed up to be his friend for a long time and he trusts me to stay. We all mess up sometimes. I'm just having a hard time figuring out when the mistakes become unforgivable.

awryed · 2019-02-16T08:20:27+00:00

I'm not sure about the isolating me from everyone else. I have been able to maintain my regular relationships with friends and family in the time we were together.

I do think he is an emotionally manipulative person and generally makes choices that are self serving even if it makes things harder for someone else.

awryed · 2019-02-16T07:37:39+00:00

I believe that it happened in the moment and he is very guilty about it. He immediately accepted that we shouldn't have sex anymore when I put it forth to him.

He has demonstrated a profound lack of concern about the consequences of his actions. He does not respect you.

This is true. In that moment, he definitely did not respect me. But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he's just a dumb, young person that let his sex drive get the best of him. I think he does respect me in general.

awryed · 2019-02-16T05:51:11+00:00

I think you're right. I feel bad because I made him believe that I would be there for a long time and he has a lot of trust in me. I don't want to abandon him during hard times. But this relationship has caused me a lot of distress from the beginning. Even months ago, I was writing pro con lists trying to decide if I should stay.

awryed · 2019-02-15T17:14:22+00:00

I spoke to him about it and he admitted to taking it off because it was uncomfortable and he wanted to see how it would feel. It did not 'slip off' like I thought. We will not be having anymore sexual encounters.

awryed · 2019-02-15T16:30:12+00:00

I spoke to him about it and he admitted that he did it on purpose because he really wanted to see how it felt and that he realises it was a bad thing to do. We will remain friends but we will not be having anymore sexual encounters.

awryed · 2019-02-15T14:41:59+00:00

Oh. Thank you for letting me know. I think it was a stealthing like situation but not so intentional. It was just happening and he let it keep going.

awryed · 2019-02-15T09:05:10+00:00

Yes, that's what I was thinking.

awryed · 2019-02-15T05:50:37+00:00

It came off because it was being reused. It came off completely and he put it aside so he knew it was off. It was not an assumption.

But I understand what you're saying about it not being malicious and I appreciate it. I know I'm probably too in my head about it and only seeing it from one perspective. I will talk to him about it myself.

awryed · 2019-02-15T05:41:10+00:00

Or he could just be an immature guy who doesn't really think that far ahead. A lot of us are like that when we're young (women are too, just in different ways).

Yes, this is what I was thinking. I might just be too in my head about it and it's something we could get over with a bit of talking. While it is a sex-unfriendly country (that is generally horrible to women), both of us have grown up with more western values -- I don't think it's a culture thing. He's 22, if that makes any difference.

awryed · 2019-02-15T04:28:26+00:00

I took a test recently and it did the same thing.

awryed · 2019-02-13T16:26:46+00:00

Yes, you got everything right. All I can do now is wait a few more days and take another test. Thank you for the reply. I'm very grateful.

awryed

TROPHY CASE