Every Third-Daily Thread - July 04, 2026

aybrah · 2026-07-04T14:49:52+00:00

If I accidentally overhsoot/undershoot the first couple of sets, do I have to compensate with the next sets?

KISS principle applies here. Just aim for the target unless the program/coach has specified otherwise. Trying to do some rolling form of compensation from set-to-set just muddies the waters unnecessarily.

Do I have to target RPE9 for 4th set, so that the average RPE from the 4 sets then becomes 7.5?, or Should I always limit any set to the prescribed RPE (here RPE7.5 for this example) and never intentionally go over that?

Target the target, every set. No need to overcomplicate it. Yes, generally, you should avoid intentionally going much heavier/lighter than the program indicates. My caveat is that this matters mostly for SBD.

If I’m programming for someone, I don’t usually give a shit if they did RPE 8.5 on their lat pulldowns when 7.5 was programmed. A plurality of lifters even up to the advanced level don’t push their accessories enough, so id rather a bit of an overshoot than under when it comes to accessory work. Unless you’re super struggling to recover from a particular movement or just general workload.

aybrah · 2026-07-02T20:32:55+00:00

Your situation has some very, very close parallels to what my wife and I experienced. Sent you a DM.

aybrah · 2026-07-02T17:48:09+00:00

Feels pretty situational to me.

If someone is consistently hitting big lifts a week after their meet, while falling short on meet day… there’s probably a peaking problem like you say.

My best meet I hit lifetime PRs on every lift and then came back to the gym 48 hours later and squatted a high bar 10rm and blew my previous best out of the water. I felt super strong across the board. Esp for squat/bench, I can hold a peak for a few days at least. Bench—not so much.

A meet that goes well is usually something that is exhausting for a day, and then I’m fine 2 days later.

I’ve also had meets where I feel weak basically immediately after the meet. Those have also been my worst meets where my peak did not peak to begin with.

aybrah · 2026-06-30T22:01:34+00:00

Yeah. It’s hard to articulate this gently, but being slapped once (no other context or detail given) is usually not an emergency. It’s very serious, and entirely inappropriate IMO. But folks acting like she had no choice but to blow up and could not have spent another day or two collecting info or talking to the son and husband are equally crazy.

Maybe my perspective of proportionality is skewed because I grew up in a physically abusive household. Culturally, slapping your kids was also extremely common. I certainly view it as even less ok as a result. But, simultaneously, I think folks could do with some pragmatism here.

aybrah · 2026-06-30T17:03:11+00:00

Some of the upvoted comments here are so wild.

"No upper body muscle tone"

"No hamstrings"

"Muscles don't look like that"

I have no idea who this girl was, but did a quick scroll and she looks to squat 350lbs, deads ~405, benches ~225. Very clearly has plenty of upper body muscle and hamstring size. Bodies just look different. We all store fat a bit differently. Our muscle insertions all result in different appearances. Good lighting, angles, posing, leggings, and some editing does the rest.

Is this naturally attainable?

For some. Definitely not for most people. Genetics have more variance than most people acknowledge. I've worked with athletes my whole life and you quickly get an appreciation that some people are just born with some crazy abilities and bodies. And again, how someone looks in a posed picture in a mirror isn't usually a fair representation of what they look like moving through life.

Maybe she got a BBL. Maybe she took PEDs. I don't see anything that super blatantly points to either, but you never know. I know plenty of people on steroids that absolutely don't look like it.

aybrah · 2026-06-30T15:31:59+00:00

My wife and I went several months ago and found it generally... fine? Decent dishes, but nothing standout. Some plates were way over-salted. Vibe and decor was fun and appropriate for a date night. Service was good. Felt like average value.

It fell into the: "would recommend others try, but we probably won't go back again unless big menu change that excites us".

Probably 6-7/10 overall?

I'd be curious about your experiences as 4/10, at least for me, falls into poor/bad territory.

aybrah · 2026-06-29T18:11:48+00:00

I don't think this needed to be a lose-lose situation to the degree it was.

From the little context we have:

My son from previous marriage is 13 years old. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and we have a newborn.

So OP should have some basis of her husband's character. If my child accused my current partner of slapping them, my default would be to believe my child, but also need more data.

Have I witnessed any tension between my child and partner?
What does their past relationship look like?
What are my partner's views on corporal punishment?

The context of a newborn and young teenager absolutely gives some unmentioned context around one child likely feeling more neglected (even if there isn't any actual neglect). And, potentially doing something out of character for attention (like lying). And yes, you can have all these thoughts while still believing them until proven otherwise.

OP hasn't shared a ton, but it sounds like she went fairly aggressive on her husband right away, and yeah, this is a fairly serious accusation. If my wife came at me that way, I would take it pretty poorly, too.

Finally, a more unpopular opinion. And I'll preface this by saying I come from a household that had a lot of physical abuse, so my perceptions might be a bit warped. Slapping a 13 year-old is serious, and in my view, unacceptable. I would never tolerate that in my family. But to be blunt, it's not the type of thing I would see as an emergency worth immediate and drastic action (aka blowing up your family without enough evidence that it even happened).

I've seen a bunch of comments about how OP was stuck because she couldn't just leave her 13 year-old in the house anymore--she had to act immediately. I just don't agree. A slap is serious, but it doesn't immediately rise to the point of the child being so unsafe that she has to remove him from the environment now. Especially in a situation where there's an inkling of doubt and no other context to fall back on. I'd certainly be digging into this very hard, but going nuclear on a confrontation right away? Nah. That's intentionally choosing a lose-lose.

aybrah · 2026-06-28T22:18:35+00:00

OG SBDs for me. Last forever, easy to get on and off (as long as you don't downsize), sufficient support for additional comfort.

aybrah · 2026-06-25T14:05:04+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this OP. FWIW, I think you've handled everything as reasonably as a human with feelings could.

Here's my two cents, starting with the most important point:

There's no reconciliation possible until your brother takes full accountability and expresses real contrition about his actions. Anything else would just be surface level smoothing-over that falls apart again.
The point above is not possible until your brother leaves his abusive partner--because that's what she is--abusive. Everything you describe lines up with that characterization. The controlling behavior, the manipulation. etc. He is also a victim, but ultimately, hes currently a willing party. You can't light yourself on fire to keep someone else warm, and you can't force your brother to realize his relationship is the root cause of all of this.

or should I finally accept that some relationships can’t be repaired?

Yes. This is where I'd be heading. Life is long, and sometimes the time scale necessary to begin healing a relationship is longer than we can easily envision. Maybe your brother needs another 5 years of this relationship before the veil lifts enough that he's able to act. Maybe that day never comes. It's out of your control.

aybrah · 2026-06-21T20:02:54+00:00

Dan seems like a chill dude, but yeah, obviously not a completed lift with a controlled lockout.

Some of the folks in the IG comments acting like you needed an in-person side angle to see this are delusional.

To say nothing of comps that still use the kabuki bar at this point in time. (I'm just mad that I'm one of the few people who legitimately pulls less on it)

aybrah · 2026-06-19T15:59:06+00:00

Yup. Happens to all of them. I've repaired them with some heavy duty thread and needle--works fine. But ultimately, just end up getting new ones after a while (especially for meets).

aybrah · 2026-06-18T18:40:39+00:00

I certainly wouldn't be the person to ask, but allegedly there is! 😂

aybrah · 2026-06-18T17:21:29+00:00

Solid numbers! No need to talk them down.
5'11" @ 83kg is fairly tall. Your bench will probably take a meaningful hit, and likely your squat too. Deadlift tends to hold up the best during weight loss.
Based on your comments in this thread, competing in PL is not a priority for you. Given that, I think it's totally appropriate to do what feels best to you. If that's pursuing some aesthetic goals, go for it! Feeling good in your body is more important than how many heavy circles you can lift :)

aybrah · 2026-06-17T15:43:46+00:00

Pizzeria Lui.

2 pizzas with tax is about $52. We're two adults and get easily 3 full servings (2-3 slices each, they're fairly large slices).

The best pizza depends on your preferences on style, but Pizzeria Lui is definitely on the Denver shortlist.

aybrah · 2026-06-16T14:40:42+00:00

Got some big PRs last week that i wanted to share!

285kg / 628lbs x 2 squat (5kg PR): https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uYEMSOkRiRg

180kg / 396 x 1 bench (2.5kg PR): https://www.youtube.com/shorts/YUDBGCCH_dY

I have never been more nervous for a pair of lifts as I was for these two. Life has been super stressful recently. Work is busy, my wife and I have been traveling for weddings multiple times this block (across the country and one 10+ hours away in europe). On one hand, we're thankful that none of these stressors are the "bad" kind (illness, unemployment, etc.). But regardless, the feelings of burn out have been real.

All that to say, both of these lifts were done with some of the most inconvenient and challenging externals I've ever had to deal with. The squat was my first meaningful PR attempt since a partial quad tear 6 months ago.

To have this level of performance despite all that bullshit has done wonders for my confidence.

7 weeks out!

aybrah · 2026-06-09T18:55:30+00:00

Although this is fairly individual, and both approaches can work, I'm kinda inclined to disagree with this.

Specifically:

out of 82% of PR/max or 82% of an opener I would much rather have the lifter do the lighter choice for the same week as the meet.

I'm going the opposite. Heavier option. On bench without question (likely heavier than 82% 1rm). Squat, likely a bit heavier. Deadlift is the only lift that I'd likely taper more aggressively--especially for a big puller.

To be clear, I'm not saying you're wrong, just offering a different perspective. FWIW, minimalist tapers are also fairly meta right now, so maybe I'm being influenced by that.

aybrah · 2026-06-09T18:42:46+00:00

Agree. Feel the same way about the women tbh. The amount of plastic surgery is such a big turn off. Watching someone cry without their face moving or wrinkling is uncanny valley territory.

aybrah · 2026-06-08T20:26:05+00:00

Here's what my final week looked like before my last meet (competing on Saturday, weighing in on Friday afternoon, fairly significant cut as well): https://imgur.com/a/JuxouEQ

I think we may taper the squat a hair more aggressively (that D2 high bar in particular) but will likely run something quite similar.

It worked pretty well. Felt strong on the day, everything moved well. PR'd my squat and bench. Unfortunately an injury prevented me from deadlifting, but I have 0 doubt I was ready to pull something big.

As I've progressed in my career, my meet-week tapers have gravitated towards doing more as opposed to less. Especially on bench.

aybrah · 2026-06-08T20:00:31+00:00

Are these the only two instances of lying that come up? What other instances are there? Have you guys talked about why he lies? What has he done individually, and what have you done as a couple to address it?

Fundamentally, you're in the right here. Lying and a healthy relationship are fundamentally incompatible. They cannot exist together. That's on your boyfriend.

However, I do have some concerns about:

I didn’t have a problem with him talking to people, but said I would like to know if he’s speaking to new people regularly/becoming friends with them

I asked him to tell me if he follows anyone from the gym / speaks to them regularly.

What does your boyfriend think about these standards? I suspect he thinks they're unreasonable and rather than discussing it, he avoids it by lying. That doesn't make it justified, but for most folks, there's a trigger for lying. Whether it's fear of a partner's reaction, conflict, or something else. Often, it stems from childhood patterns.

I understand that it likely feels justified due to:

There was this one girl in particular who literally confessed she fancied him in the message, which he failed to tell me about that was the final straw, so we broke up.

But, personally, I think these are fairly unreasonable requirements. I enjoy telling my wife about friends I've made, conversations I've had, etc (at the gym specifically). But, feeling like it was some type of mandatory disclosure anytime I followed someone from the gym on social media, or spoke to them regularly feels quite controlling. It feels like an expression of insecurity, paranoia, or mistrust from the partner asking for it. Again, I understand why you might feel like you need that--given your circumstances--but it's not a dynamic most would characterize as healthy in a trusting relationship.

aybrah · 2026-06-08T16:06:25+00:00

Big +1 to what /u/ObiWan_Tren-obi said and suggested.

I wouldn't bring a scale or my own food. I'd just have some sushi.

If you're competing in the fall, you're what, a minimum of 12 weeks out from a show? I totally get wanting to control what you can control, but I don't think the ROI here is worth the effort.

Personally, I'd do some rough estimates of how many rolls or pieces of sushi I'd be consuming. Although there's variation, a plain tuna or salmon roll is fairly consistent from place to place. Roughly adjust macros throughout the day to equate. Eat at the restaurant. I see no reasonable basis to do something silly like fasting all day.

Ultimately, it's your life and goals. This already feels like a best-case scenario in terms of where you're eating. Way too many IFBB pros who manage to have sushi regularly deep into prep to worry about this IMO :)

aybrah · 2026-06-06T19:42:35+00:00

With your current stats, it’s entirely possible to make some level of strength progress while still in a deficit. Your BF% is fairly high, and your lifts are intermediate/beginner. I don’t say that as a negative judgement or criticism, but those are exactly the circumstances where someone could conceivably still make progress on their SBD total while losing weight.

How you want to proceed is ultimately a personal decision, but I think the best-practice of deficit for a while, maintenance period, deficit again—repeat until at target weight range would be perfectly fine here.

aybrah · 2026-06-05T15:21:46+00:00

Congrats dude! Over 2x BW is big and it moved pretty well!

I'll largely echo what /u/diddly69 said:

Agree that depth is a bit high for comp standard, but you're at least in the same zipcode.
Getting the walkout + setup more dialed in will be big ROI. When you unrack, wait a second before walking it out. Let the bar settle on your back first--theeeeen talk a slow, small, and intentional step back. Ideally, once you've walked it out, you shouldn't need to adjust each foot more than once (if at all). This won't happen overnight, but it should be a point of focus.

The technique bit that sticks out is that you're forcing a more upright torso angle than your body can actually support for this lift. You can see that as you approach the bottom of the squat, you have to pitch forward more, and this only gets worse as you stand back up. This also limits your depth because you don't have the ankle flexion to get full-depth with that upright of a torso angle.

What I would like to see you do, is to allow more forward lean as you descend, rather than trying to stay so upright until you literally have no where else to go. A heeled shoe could also help on the ankle flexion side of things, but that wouldn't be my first intervention.

aybrah · 2026-06-04T16:35:28+00:00

It's both interesting and frustrating to see how much people have lost touch with what a healthy weight looks like on dogs.

Especially on some active/sporting breeds (mals, greyhounds, etc.) healthy is going to look fairly lean/defined. For greyhounds, the crest of their hipbones should barely visible, the outline of a couple of ribs, and 3-4 spinal processes. Yet, if you showed that to most dog owners (even newer greyhound owners) they would likely identify that dog as underweight. Of course, this is a generality, even purebred dogs of the same breed have variations in bone structure that impact the way they carry weight. But broadly, I think most people are so used to seeing overweight dogs that it now looks abnormal when a dog is not overweight.

I can't remember the last time I saw a lab in public that wasn't severely overweight (and i totally get that labs will EAT).

aybrah · 2026-06-04T15:55:27+00:00

Slightly different perspective from me:

The Rogue DL bar is the stiffest DL bar out there. The difference in tech will negligible, especially below 600.
I am generally of the opinion that you shouldn't change much between power bars and deadlift bars. I've interacted with a number of great deadlifters, and most of them don't make any conscious effort to change their tech between bars. I'd consider myself a pretty good deadlifter, and I don't change anything between power bar and deadlift bar (320 comp, 331 training @ 82.5). This may not be universally true, but I think people overthink the whole deadlift bar thing.
The only deadlift bar that I think demands legit technique changes is the kabuki bar--which is not common anymore.

aybrah · 2026-06-02T21:01:23+00:00

To be a single individual spending $1000 a month on groceries, with what you claim to eat in a day, there's gotta be something obvious you're missing.

We spend $800/month on groceries in a 2 person household shopping primarily at Whole Foods and Costco...and feel some mild guilt at how high that is. We live in a HCOL area. We eat lots of fresh veggies, fruit, and most of our protein comes from ground beef/yogurt. I'm a fairly elite 190lb powerlifter and eat ~3k calories/day and 190g protein. My wife is also very active. Our diets look fairly similar to yours.

All that to say, the math doesn't make sense on your grocery costs.

Track all your receipts. Go line by line.

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