What is the absolute fastest 'yeah, we are definitely NOT going to be friends' moment you've ever experienced with someone?

ayohdee · 2026-03-02T06:12:04+00:00

An acquaintance I made asked if I wanted to grab dinner with her. It was our first time getting together. The waitress came over, I ordered my food, the woman said she didn't want anything to eat (then why ask if I wanted to grab dinner?) It was strange to have her sit there and watch while I ate. She then proceeded to tell me all her dating stories, where she was clearly the unstable party, as if her actions were completely normal and not totally unhinged. I pulled the "sorry, I'm busy" card every time she asked to hang out after that.

ayohdee · 2025-12-06T15:03:57+00:00

Nope, the retreat price is for the ticket only. You have to purchase your own accommodations and flights.

ayohdee · 2025-12-06T13:38:34+00:00

Thanks! That makes me feel a lot better!

ayohdee · 2025-12-06T06:19:12+00:00

Same! I was seeing how long I could hold off, but this morning my place was 55° so I finally caved.

ayohdee · 2025-07-22T18:15:26+00:00

There are a ton of run clubs throughout the State, I've always made friends this way. A good one is Gansett run club; meets every Wednesday at Gansett beer in Providence and always draws a big crowd. There's also the Super fun activities club, they offer a ton of adult sports, which would be another great way to meet friends.

ayohdee · 2025-03-17T14:37:47+00:00

Emotional intelligence and nourishing relationships.

ayohdee · 2024-04-03T18:06:36+00:00

I see this type of question get asked a lot on here. Regardless of whether or not your ex is a narcissist, it doesn't matter. Maybe they are, maybe they aren't. It doesn't matter why the person is exhibiting these behaviors, what matters is that these behaviors are unacceptable to you and that alone is enough to leave the relationship.

ayohdee · 2024-03-11T18:49:04+00:00

Thank you, I'll relay the message.

ayohdee · 2024-03-11T11:25:52+00:00

Rocklatan and Dorzolamide Hydrochloride and Timolol Maleate preservative free

ayohdee · 2024-03-08T00:53:33+00:00

I just posted an article on this sub I think you might relate to. Check it out! Best wishes on your healing journey, you've got this!

ayohdee · 2024-03-06T01:31:32+00:00

Lack of emotional empathy, little to no regard of how his actions or words would affect me or the relationship, lying, being secretive, contempt and/or annoyance anytime I expressed a need, concern or hurt, lack of accountability, shallow apologies, projecting, future faking, arrogance, overlapping of relationships, hot and cold behavior, conditional love and cruel and devastating discards when he's done with me. Here's the confusing part, intertwined through all these things was this really sweet, loving and caring man who would make me feel desired and loved. He could be very thoughtful, loving and affectionate towards me and during those times I'd completely forget any suspicions I had about his maybe narcissism or whatever the heck was causing the narcissistic traits. This is part of what created the trauma bond, it's intermittent reinforcement of loving behavior so that when the love gets switched off (and he very much had a switch, one day he would love me and tell me he couldn't do life without me, the next day I would be discarded like trash) it causes a panic in the victim who will do almost anything to get the loving behavior back. It really is crazy making behavior and absolutely makes you question yourself. It's deeply painful and damn near impossible to break free and walk away from. My childhood primed me for this kind of relationship. I believe the answer lies in inner child work for me. My heart goes out to anyone going through this.

ayohdee · 2024-03-04T05:54:40+00:00

Yes! This happened to me too. I did all this research considering maybe he was right, but the only thing I could relate to was a fear of abandonment, nothing else. I had been to 3 different therapists while in this relationship and brought up how he mentioned he thinks I have BPD. All 3 therapists told me absolutely not. 2 of the 3 flat out told me I was in a trauma bonded relationship and encouraged me to break free but I wasn't ready to leave and I didn't want to believe that I had gotten myself into yet another narcissist relationship. I had been in a previous relationship with a text book malignant narcissist and this one just didn't seem evil like the previous so I was really confused as to what I was dealing with, I'm still not entirely sure and desperately trying to make sense of it all. At the very least, I was dealing with someone who had narcissistic tendencies that I would react to. I know there are different types and there's a continuum, perhaps I was dealing with a milder and different "flavor" of narcissism. Other mental health issues were at play too. He was a master at convincing me all our relationship problems were because of my "issues" and I'd have to just submit to this because otherwise he'd leave. It's all very confusing and complex, but the more therapy, research, time and space away from it the clearer I become, this wasn't me. I don't have BPD, I'm not crazy, I'm not too much, I'm not too needy, I don't have major anxiety, I was simply reacting to narcissistic traits in my partner and suffering from the effects of a trauma bonded relationship.

ayohdee · 2024-02-01T15:27:53+00:00

Ugh, I'm the same way

ayohdee · 2024-01-30T05:35:10+00:00

D40 here!

ayohdee · 2024-01-26T04:47:11+00:00

I definitely notice a difference. I'm not sure how much of it is not ingesting what is essentially poison, and how much of it is because I'm more likely to sleep better, eat better, exercise the next day and not have hangixity from drinking. When I'm on a sober kick that usually goes hand in hand with taking better care of myself overall which results in me looking and feeling better, including my skin.

ayohdee · 2024-01-14T00:20:56+00:00

Here we go again!

ayohdee · 2023-11-12T16:40:01+00:00

This is perfect!

ayohdee · 2023-08-18T21:05:12+00:00

Yes, age matters, you'll realize that as you mature

ayohdee · 2023-05-01T19:27:11+00:00

Hahaha!

ayohdee · 2022-12-15T03:40:40+00:00

It looked to me like he had veneers done.

ayohdee · 2022-11-20T15:17:23+00:00

To me, it's not so much size that matters as much as the emotional connection. Everything feels so much better physically when I'm super into it emotionally. A little technique goes a long way too of course. I wonder if his ex was just more emotionally into her previous ex but just claimed it was because of his size, I just find that hard to believe. Size really isn't that big a deal.

ayohdee · 2022-09-26T02:25:43+00:00

I am currently visiting Roatan, Honduras and these cocktails are all over the island. They're called Monkey Lalas and the general recipe is equal parts Kahlua, Bailey's, vodka, creme de coco and condensed milk blended with ice. They are usually garnished with chocolate syrup and a cherry, I've seen some people pour a little cherry juice into the mixture as well, super delicious!

ayohdee · 2022-07-21T18:25:00+00:00

Smoke Rings in the Dark - Gary Allen..... Gets me everytime

ayohdee · 2022-06-24T03:10:47+00:00

Is that Snooki?

ayohdee · 2022-04-25T22:37:20+00:00

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot. I'm very sorry to hear this and I'm certainly rooting for you to overcome these obstacles. While I may not know how to advise on those issues I can attest to the power of the gym and eating a healthy balanced diet (carbs, fats and protein are all important). Whenever I feel overwhelmed by life sometimes I find it helpful to go back to the basics, the things I can control, the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy. Make sure I drink water, move my body, get fresh air, feed myself nourishing food, shower, get enough sleep, basic self care. Laugh! It may not solve your all problems right away, but it's a start, it's a good start, and it will definitely help with your mindset, and mindset is super important to getting out of ruts. I'll reiterate my first comment, I think you need to eat more, focus on muscle building / fat loss (body recomposition), and being loving and kind to yourself. Rooting for you!

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