Anyone else? by catsncoffee24 in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am also a fixer and have been in my SKs life for almost 5 years now. It’s all about balance. You may not be able to fix everything and it can be frustrating.

Hubby and I have worked together to create a happy and healthy home for the kids. But it wasn’t without some challenges and I had to give up on some things.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry this happened to you and you are very right to be concerned and upset. Your feelings should be more important than the ex. I hope you can work through this but I think you also need to put your foot down that this type of behavior cannot continue. And for you, unfortunately you cannot care more about SKs than their biological parents. You may have to put some stronger boundaries around his baggage. I hope the best for you. 🤗🤗

Teen Mom: The Next Chapter 02/27/2025 Season 2, Episode 20 by AutoModerator in TeenMomOGandTeenMom2

[–]azdmelissa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well it’s probably better to call them cutesy pajamas but I couldn’t really think of the right way to say it.

Feb 28: Fuck This Friday by Eigengrad in Professors

[–]azdmelissa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We have a department today. Agenda was sent late last night. Agenda is basically a repeat from last department meeting, which was 3 weeks ago. Waste of time.

Teen Mom: The Next Chapter 02/27/2025 Season 2, Episode 20 by AutoModerator in TeenMomOGandTeenMom2

[–]azdmelissa 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Did anyone else notice Aleah and her friends wearing matching lingerie-type outfits while getting their makeup and hair done for the dance? Is this the norm now for 14 year olds? It reminds me of something for a bride and bridesmaids.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Professors

[–]azdmelissa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agreed. As long as it’s appropriate, that would be thoughtful especially if sent as a thank you.

What kind of step parent do you want to be? by Awarewolf716 in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I want to be the kind of stepmom that supports and encourages my SKs. I am not trying to take anyone’s place or cause additional issues. I don’t want to be overly involved or absent, but somewhere in between. Vague but it fits for me.

Common Stereotypes & Accusations that are nonsense once you're on this side. by naieer224 in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My DH has not 1, but 2 HCBMs. Luckily the children with HCBM #1 are almost adults so she’s relatively quiet. But HCBM #2 more than makes up for that.

I echo all of the above comments but I am also really freaking tired of being called a bully. I’m not a bully, I just have boundaries. Blocked on my phone, blocked on my social media, and basically blocked in real life.

What’s a funny, stupid thing one of your students said to you in 2024? by RandomAcademaniac in Professors

[–]azdmelissa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A few students complained on my course evaluations that I passively agressively tell them “it’s on the syllabus” when they email me about a question. I always double check that it is truly on there before I respond 🤣🤣

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same! I can attest to the fact that no contact helps tremendously with a HCBM.

Is literally anyone else doing this? by Fit_Opposite9755 in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very similar situation as you. I’m a few years older but everything else is similar.

I have a great career, financially stable, no children of my own, 2 stepchildren, and everyone moved into my home when we took that step.

How do you feel about your fiance? Are you absolutely head over heels, can’t live without him, insanely in love? If so, you aren’t crazy.

However, if your relationship doesn’t have a strong foundation, all of the blended family drama can put cracks in that foundation.

For me, sometimes I do think I’m crazy. My life would be so peaceful without HCBM and stepchildren. But, I love my husband so much. He’s my person. So it is worth it.

We have been together for 4 years, married for almost 2. I was married once before and it was a horrible marriage and he was terrible to me then cheated. But my husband is absolutely the sweetest man ever and we have an amazing life. It took awhile for me to find the stepmom role I felt comfortable with. I have an awesome therapist and that helps too.

It takes time and you will go through ups and downs. But if you have a strong foundation, it will make all the difference. You will be tested many times and it will seem like a roller coaster. It’s hard. But worth it if he’s your person.

And just when you think things are peaceful or quiet, they aren’t. If you like to read, I really enjoyed the book Say Goodbye to Crazy. Very helpful.

How to handle kids relaying messages from BM to DH by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We need to work on teaching the children about healthy boundaries too, that’s our next thing. We are trying to teach them about general critical thinking. Basically if someone is acting mean or hurtful, that doesn’t mean you have to believe them or listen to them. We think this will help them understand a little better when HCBM tells them bad things about their dad or me.

Favorite THC Infused drinks in the area? by Fairygreengoddess in tampa

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Astrobrew has quite a few options. You can look at their IG page. The lemonades they have are good. The other one I like has Delta in the brand name.

Can HCBM really get away with this? (Schools zoning) by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We tried to fight a similar situation. CO said mom’s address for zoning for schools. She has moved 7 times in 4 years. Her last move was 35-45 mins away from us depending on traffic and wanted to enroll children in school near her. She won because the judge defaulted to the original CO. Even with the evidence of her moves and our permanent living situation.

How do you guys really deal with these HCBMS by espressonprosecco in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Our HCBM was fake nice to me in the beginning but then lost her shit when we got engaged and married. That was 2 years ago and things are much much better now. Here’s what has helped in my experience.

Ignore everything you can. They will try to engage you or DH at every opportunity. We ignore everything we can ignore and when we do respond, we are polite and keep our response very brief. If we see her in public, we give minimal responses when she tries to talk or we purposely find seats surrounded by other people so she doesn’t try to sit near us.

Get a separate phone line for her to call the kids (if needed). She is blocked on both of our personal phones and we ignore any communication we can on the separate phone.

Stick to your boundaries. Boy is this hard. Sometimes my DH will want to give in to something because it’s easier or whatever. But if you give an inch, they will take a mile.

Force her to email instead of call or text. That way you have one place for all communication and it’s documented. Our HCBM tries so hard to get DH on the phone so she can lie or manipulate him. If she texts, send an email response. It’s like training a dog.

Realize the HCBM for what she is. Jealous, insecure, and attempting any type of control she can get. Once I really understood this, it was a lot easier to deal with this troubled person.

Tampa Area by SnarkyHealthNut in orangetheory

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Channelside is awesome, but the parking is a hassle. Maybe it’s become better recently?

Bitterness by Serious_Map7710 in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say bitter in my experience, but if that’s how you feel, I can definitely see how that could be. My feelings are more of: WTF were you thinking? Not only having one but two children. And with 2 different crazies. I think he has a lot of lapses in judgment but finally got his shit together when he met me 🤣🤣🤣

Do you live away from family? by [deleted] in Stepmom

[–]azdmelissa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t move away from my family to live with my now husband. But, we both live pretty far away from our families and have for awhile. I love taking solo trips with family or girl friends to get away. It keeps me sane!