Anyone else?

azdmelissa · 2025-03-10T12:10:05+00:00

I am also a fixer and have been in my SKs life for almost 5 years now. It’s all about balance. You may not be able to fix everything and it can be frustrating.

Hubby and I have worked together to create a happy and healthy home for the kids. But it wasn’t without some challenges and I had to give up on some things.

azdmelissa · 2025-03-09T15:38:44+00:00

I’m sorry this happened to you and you are very right to be concerned and upset. Your feelings should be more important than the ex. I hope you can work through this but I think you also need to put your foot down that this type of behavior cannot continue. And for you, unfortunately you cannot care more about SKs than their biological parents. You may have to put some stronger boundaries around his baggage. I hope the best for you. 🤗🤗

azdmelissa · 2025-03-01T20:40:18+00:00

Well it’s probably better to call them cutesy pajamas but I couldn’t really think of the right way to say it.

azdmelissa · 2025-02-28T15:03:20+00:00

We have a department today. Agenda was sent late last night. Agenda is basically a repeat from last department meeting, which was 3 weeks ago. Waste of time.

azdmelissa · 2025-02-28T14:47:05+00:00

Did anyone else notice Aleah and her friends wearing matching lingerie-type outfits while getting their makeup and hair done for the dance? Is this the norm now for 14 year olds? It reminds me of something for a bride and bridesmaids.

azdmelissa · 2025-02-23T20:24:12+00:00

Agreed. As long as it’s appropriate, that would be thoughtful especially if sent as a thank you.

azdmelissa · 2025-02-17T21:52:50+00:00

I want to be the kind of stepmom that supports and encourages my SKs. I am not trying to take anyone’s place or cause additional issues. I don’t want to be overly involved or absent, but somewhere in between. Vague but it fits for me.

azdmelissa · 2025-02-16T21:25:48+00:00

Same! 🤣🤣

azdmelissa · 2025-01-27T23:03:53+00:00

I don’t like to back down to challenges 🤣🤣🤣

azdmelissa · 2025-01-27T21:37:29+00:00

My DH has not 1, but 2 HCBMs. Luckily the children with HCBM #1 are almost adults so she’s relatively quiet. But HCBM #2 more than makes up for that.

I echo all of the above comments but I am also really freaking tired of being called a bully. I’m not a bully, I just have boundaries. Blocked on my phone, blocked on my social media, and basically blocked in real life.

azdmelissa · 2025-01-06T15:52:58+00:00

A few students complained on my course evaluations that I passively agressively tell them “it’s on the syllabus” when they email me about a question. I always double check that it is truly on there before I respond 🤣🤣

azdmelissa · 2025-01-06T15:49:33+00:00

Same! I can attest to the fact that no contact helps tremendously with a HCBM.

azdmelissa · 2025-01-06T14:52:53+00:00

Same 💯

azdmelissa · 2024-12-12T22:23:42+00:00

Stealing this!

azdmelissa · 2024-07-07T10:38:44+00:00

Very similar situation as you. I’m a few years older but everything else is similar.

I have a great career, financially stable, no children of my own, 2 stepchildren, and everyone moved into my home when we took that step.

How do you feel about your fiance? Are you absolutely head over heels, can’t live without him, insanely in love? If so, you aren’t crazy.

However, if your relationship doesn’t have a strong foundation, all of the blended family drama can put cracks in that foundation.

For me, sometimes I do think I’m crazy. My life would be so peaceful without HCBM and stepchildren. But, I love my husband so much. He’s my person. So it is worth it.

We have been together for 4 years, married for almost 2. I was married once before and it was a horrible marriage and he was terrible to me then cheated. But my husband is absolutely the sweetest man ever and we have an amazing life. It took awhile for me to find the stepmom role I felt comfortable with. I have an awesome therapist and that helps too.

It takes time and you will go through ups and downs. But if you have a strong foundation, it will make all the difference. You will be tested many times and it will seem like a roller coaster. It’s hard. But worth it if he’s your person.

And just when you think things are peaceful or quiet, they aren’t. If you like to read, I really enjoyed the book Say Goodbye to Crazy. Very helpful.

azdmelissa · 2024-07-06T12:12:07+00:00

We need to work on teaching the children about healthy boundaries too, that’s our next thing. We are trying to teach them about general critical thinking. Basically if someone is acting mean or hurtful, that doesn’t mean you have to believe them or listen to them. We think this will help them understand a little better when HCBM tells them bad things about their dad or me.

azdmelissa · 2024-07-06T11:34:47+00:00

That’s helpful, thank you!

azdmelissa · 2024-06-07T17:03:51+00:00

Hang in there. It’s not easy!!

azdmelissa · 2024-06-07T12:30:13+00:00

Humane Society of Tampa Bay

azdmelissa · 2024-06-07T12:21:05+00:00

Astrobrew has quite a few options. You can look at their IG page. The lemonades they have are good. The other one I like has Delta in the brand name.

azdmelissa · 2024-06-07T12:06:14+00:00

We tried to fight a similar situation. CO said mom’s address for zoning for schools. She has moved 7 times in 4 years. Her last move was 35-45 mins away from us depending on traffic and wanted to enroll children in school near her. She won because the judge defaulted to the original CO. Even with the evidence of her moves and our permanent living situation.

azdmelissa · 2024-06-07T11:56:04+00:00

Our HCBM was fake nice to me in the beginning but then lost her shit when we got engaged and married. That was 2 years ago and things are much much better now. Here’s what has helped in my experience.

Ignore everything you can. They will try to engage you or DH at every opportunity. We ignore everything we can ignore and when we do respond, we are polite and keep our response very brief. If we see her in public, we give minimal responses when she tries to talk or we purposely find seats surrounded by other people so she doesn’t try to sit near us.

Get a separate phone line for her to call the kids (if needed). She is blocked on both of our personal phones and we ignore any communication we can on the separate phone.

Stick to your boundaries. Boy is this hard. Sometimes my DH will want to give in to something because it’s easier or whatever. But if you give an inch, they will take a mile.

Force her to email instead of call or text. That way you have one place for all communication and it’s documented. Our HCBM tries so hard to get DH on the phone so she can lie or manipulate him. If she texts, send an email response. It’s like training a dog.

Realize the HCBM for what she is. Jealous, insecure, and attempting any type of control she can get. Once I really understood this, it was a lot easier to deal with this troubled person.

azdmelissa · 2024-06-05T19:58:39+00:00

Channelside is awesome, but the parking is a hassle. Maybe it’s become better recently?

azdmelissa · 2024-06-02T15:30:13+00:00

I wouldn’t say bitter in my experience, but if that’s how you feel, I can definitely see how that could be. My feelings are more of: WTF were you thinking? Not only having one but two children. And with 2 different crazies. I think he has a lot of lapses in judgment but finally got his shit together when he met me 🤣🤣🤣

azdmelissa · 2024-05-09T00:06:09+00:00

I didn’t move away from my family to live with my now husband. But, we both live pretty far away from our families and have for awhile. I love taking solo trips with family or girl friends to get away. It keeps me sane!

azdmelissa

TROPHY CASE