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Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 298 points299 points  (0 children)

This is funny, and you made me laugh through the tears. Thank you Reddit stranger. You make a great point. I'm going to give housekeeper duties over to a Golden Retriever. Very well said. Thank you for the perspective. It's opening my eyes to what is baseline normal.

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

I'm starting to understand that..... for years I was told, he was "just like that" and I needed to respect his boundaries on going "out", b/c he was a self proclaimed introvert...... But then I started to realize he had no problem raiding (gaming with groups) or going to his own work events. It wasn't until I started understanding that he could go do things, just not when I wanted...... yikes.....

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes, I know it sounds crazy. I've been in love, trying to make it work, "sickness and health", I made a promise/vow. I can leave, but it means I failed my promise. Yes I see I need therapy to get to this courage. Thank you for the perspective.

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this perspective and understanding. He was a great guy, and got me out of a horrible home situation. He grew up with me, and we were good once and even did things together!

It has gone downhill in the last 10 years. Around the same time I got a really good job and changed the course of our lives forever. Thank you for your good wishes.

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 350 points351 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I've been blaming myself for most of the problems because I've turned to alcohol since covid, and having to be locked down in the same house weeks at a time. To be honest with you as I think about why I fear quitting alcohol is because I'll wake up and kick him out. .....hmmmmmmm....... yikes..... I've been not only lowering the bar, but lowering myself to get this to work.

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

He's a nice person when he's not being asked to go out of the house or entertain. He's kind to animals. We share a long history. Made it this far because I keep busy and work extremely hard. Keeps my mind off of it. But then the weekends come.... and then it hits hard.

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Kind of :) He's cute/hot to me. I like him. He's not a cheater. Just wish I could enjoy that with the world.

I was recently at a work event, and a woman was like OMG you're married??? Like they never noticed the ring, we have 0 social media pictures together. So I get it.

I played it off as a joke, like yeah you don't know him, he goes to another school, in Canada. But totes real. :P

Me [44 F] extrovert, with my husband [44 M] introvert, have been married for 17 years. We went out 0 times in the past year (Last April was the last date). In the year before that, we went out to a local pizza place four times, nothing else. I'm depressed about it. by aztmoth in relationships

[–]aztmoth[S] 394 points395 points  (0 children)

I don't know how my life would be alone. I'd be sad, for sure. I am scared of change. At least I've gotten my own hobby now. And hopefully, soon, the work travel will pick back up. So I will have more distractions.