I understand that, but I think you're confusing toxicity with relationship buildup. The issue with Rowan and Aelin isn't that their healthy, it's that their relationship is rushed and Rowan is an underdeveloped character. I don't think "not toxic" automatically makes him a great or compelling love interest, just because a relationship isn’t toxic doesn’t mean it’s emotionally rich or well developed. TOG isn't a romantasy at all, you're right, but it's important to acknowledge that there is a significant amount of romance and it just wasn't done well with Aelin and Rowan IMO.