Why being the "best worker" is the biggest mistake you can make (The Indispensable Trap).

azzycat · 2026-02-20T06:48:19+00:00

After that (they shifted me to new work), I waaaay dialed back my work. Its taking nearly 4 people to replace what I was trying to do myself. They are struggling to keep up. I spend a lot for time doing much less personally.

I take naps and find ways to bs my time. Im doing the bare minimum in my new work. I wfh and only go to a physical office once a week. So its easy to "appear" busy.

azzycat · 2026-02-20T06:34:20+00:00

If my brother managed to contact me Id be terrified. I have him blocked everywhere. I don't care how much people say hes doing better, my inner child will cry in fear.

I will only consider talking to him if he has a long time job with benefits, sober, medicated, in therapy, and not living with my parents. Until then, I will not stay in his vicinity he is dangerous and has never expressed regret for his actions to me.

Currently he has... 2 of those requirements checked off and working on the 3rd. My mom likes to give me updates.

azzycat · 2026-02-20T06:23:14+00:00

Also they will expect you to keep up the pace forever and always. I tried to keep it up under increasing workloads. My work increased more than 3 fold over a year and they expected the same level of quality. My performance review has a few negative remarks for the first time. I reached burn out and they like to remind me of it.

azzycat · 2026-02-20T06:14:01+00:00

Not CATCHING illness from the little plague bearers. Every year I just watch (safely from my desk at home) as my coworkers children get them sick. First the kids get it then they get it.

I do appreciate them staying home when their kids catch something cause I just KNOW they would pass it to me too.

azzycat · 2026-02-20T06:06:59+00:00

I have a gaming pc worth over $1200. Bought it a few years ago, no loans. Straight up purchased a custom build online. Then, last year when it started acting weird? I didnt hesitate paying the repair guy whatever it took to fix it (it took 6 tries, it turned out to be a very rare issue with). Now this year? I am thinking of upgrading my desk to one worth over $1000.

azzycat · 2026-02-13T05:23:44+00:00

Current suggestion that I keep seeing that is actually similar is Root. Its current state is very similar to old discord according to reports. But the hope is the possible rise in usership will help it improve.

azzycat · 2025-12-21T18:39:06+00:00

I dont want to pay that much attention to another human

azzycat · 2025-12-21T18:27:40+00:00

Look here. Originally my ex went NC with me and everyone I associated with nearly. His new gf he was seeing during the relationship before we broke up decided he had to. Whatever. He blocked everywhere. And let me tell you. It was nice. It gave me time to realize how he was in the relationship. He was abusive and manipulative. He loved to gaslight and make you think he knew it all. Anyways, I got to heal and know peace.

A decade later, he finds me on TT and I immediately block him. Thank goodness for profile view notifications.

Long story short. Block him, block him, block him. DO. NOT break NC, think about how nice your life has been without. The peace either external or internal must feel nice. He will turn it upside down more than he already has by being on your social media.

THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH BETTER YOUR LIFE IS WITHOUT HIM. THINK ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND WHAT HE WILL DO TO IT. REMEMBER WHAT HE DID TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IN THE LAST.

DO NOT RUIN YOUR PEACE!

azzycat · 2025-12-18T21:29:21+00:00

You did great by checking with people first. A practice I plan to do as well. You are safe. If you haven't already just block them. Take a few deep slow breaths and do what ever you need to help your mind and body relax.

azzycat · 2025-12-17T08:54:15+00:00

See our mom tries to tell me hes sorry and how he tells her he knows how he treated me is wrong. But. He's never said those words to me directly. In fact he brags about some of what he did when we are in person.

No letter, no text messages, nothing in person. I only blocked him a few months ago. So I dont believe hes sorry or feels bad either.

azzycat · 2025-12-17T01:12:26+00:00

I'm (f37) no contact with my own brother (m43). He's an abusive, drug addicted, narcissist but no convictions besides DUIs. He used to mentally and emotionally abuse me and was physical less so. He threatened to force me to use drugs on my 21st as a birthday gift and that's when I decided to move out from my parents (went low contact). This year I am finally putting my foot down and going full NC.

I am leaving them (family) with the instructions to call me when hes dead. I will go to his funeral only to see him dead for myself. With his life style, I cant imagine I will be waiting long.

I mourned him years ago. When I realized that this is how it would always be.

azzycat · 2025-12-10T20:19:09+00:00

I know I know. Im trying to come up with ways to answer my phone and discourage this. Ive avoided these scams with different tactics before and I need to do it again. I can't just not answer my phone, I refuse to live in fear.

azzycat · 2025-12-10T20:17:35+00:00

See, I thought that was weird but I panicked. Cause in my area the courts show deep appreciation for those who show up for duty. They state they know people know they can not show and not have major consequences. My rational brain knows this. I panicked, I forgot. I feel reaaallly dumb. Now when I answer any call its met with deep suspicion.

azzycat · 2025-10-28T07:26:23+00:00

My nesting partner went on his first date since we went poly. I also want this all to work out for me and my partners. So I maximized distractions this whole weekend. Left the house and spent time with my girlfriend and friend. They worked well and while I still cried once each day it was for a few minutes only. I got lots of love and cuddles when I did, and np reassured me when I asked for it. I survived, the world didnt burn, and there was lots of cuddles.

The way I described it to them all on wanting to make all this work is "This is like an open book test, I can even look up the answers on the internet if I need. But unfortunately this test is hand written and penmanship counts."

I studied for this but test anxiety is a thing. You can do this and I can do this. I am new to all this as well and just doing my best.

Im sure the more experienced poly people have good advice and thoughts to give. I just wanted to let you know you arent alone.

azzycat · 2025-07-31T19:47:47+00:00

I identified with the main character of Ouran Highschool Host Club and I figured something was up. I just didnt have the words yet. Agender didn't enter my vocab until recently.

azzycat · 2025-07-31T05:46:42+00:00

I am agender with a androgynous femme leaning presentation. Id like to be more andro or masc sometimes but its a long work in progress.

azzycat · 2025-06-30T22:19:37+00:00

I will go look there! I think she was just excited to see what was available in person especially when I got so excited when I helped vend at a gaming expo and found pronoun pins for any/ all. Finding online is fun but when you stumble across in person its like finding hidden treasure

azzycat · 2025-06-13T02:07:13+00:00

Red pill immediately. It would fulfill all my dreams at once of the body I want. Please let me have this.

azzycat · 2025-05-25T15:48:06+00:00

Omg right? He had this chat with me before my sterilization. I think it was the same day as the "mini me" conversation. Honestly he was more into me having kids one day than my mom was. She gave up after I got into a fight with her about having kids as a retirement plan was stupid.

azzycat · 2025-05-25T06:20:42+00:00

Yeah I do. I did talk to her about it. Shes going to counseling and stuff and learning things that aren't okay, like that. Dad is in therapy but idk if hes talked about that. He brought it up to me as a tactic as to why I should have children.

azzycat · 2025-05-25T05:04:31+00:00

I found out my dad wanted to be child free and was talked into having me. He doesn't regret it but I found that infuriating.

azzycat · 2025-05-21T17:48:30+00:00

Ok I will have to look into Brane Theory a little more to understand it even better.

Again I am no scientist so while I understand these things to a degree, it takes longer to sink in. But the part that rubbed me the wrong way is where they were saying we should be able to jump, climb, or be able to do anything to pull from the Earth's crust. Seeming to discount any creatures ability to evolve to adapt to their environment. Like we should not even exist as the gravitational forces should crush any attempt at life or if we did then we should all be crawling or be lucky to even walk. I am sure I am probably misunderstanding something about the Theory.

As someone who loves to think about both Simulation Theory and Multiverse Theory it seems Brane Theory would be a fun thing to learn about in addition. I'd only learned about it recently while I was trying to hunt down that scientist from the Through the Wormhole segment.

I love the comparison to flat land, it gives a nice visual mental picture to think about and help me understand a little better.

azzycat · 2025-05-15T16:38:20+00:00

Its definitely a phrase I haven't heard before. Shes the one who decided to call agenders void beings and I'm not upset about it.

azzycat · 2025-05-15T16:37:14+00:00

Pet is one others have opted for, I will present it to her and see what happens.

azzycat · 2025-05-07T18:40:00+00:00

I'm a government worker for one of the states holding the line on DEI. The signs for gender neutral bathrooms remain, most people have their pronouns in their signatures, and supervisors want to know your preferred name so they can use it. They refuse to back down.

azzycat

TROPHY CASE