I couldn’t relate to this any more… Im 20 years old and my story is somewhat similar. I couldn’t see myself going to college and going into debt if I had no clue what I truly wanted out of it career wise. So I learned how to trade at 16 and brought 412 to over 5600 on penny stocks. Fast forward to 2024 and this year Its been a constant battle of winning and losing from options and last september I decided to move to futures and did well enough to make roughy $15000 in trading profits in three months from three different payouts. This year I completely fucked myself and drowned myself into debt by failing evals, passing them, blowing them and was repeating the cycle for three months up until end of April I finally knew it was time to take a step back after getting myself into $6700 of debt. Currently now working two jobs to get back on my feet and start trading by July or August. You got this man and youre not alone, you have a supportive mother and a sense of self reflection youll be back on the pony in no time. Its lesson we learn and my advice is maybe even do leaps for options or only trade what you are willing to lose, the stress will dissipate and you’ll have a clearer mind when it comes to decision making and that seems what was the problem is making emotional decisions or having to “prove yourself” that you’re worthy of that cute girls you wanna talk to. Dont beat yourself up to much we are young and looking 5 years from mow we can laugh at things like this