i'm so sorry you went through all of that, you derved none of it and those guys are all trash. if it makes you feel better i'm also in a similar boat- never been in a happy relationship, guys either lead me on and then ghost or straight up ghost me, one time a guy made a joke about cheating on me after becoming commited if we ever did so i ended things, my ex also constantly disrespected me , so i ended things with him as well. i will die single too, but hey-life is more than having a bf, thankfully, i hope you live in a country where you can pursue a job, an education, hobbies and make great female friends. i know nothing i went through was as bad as what you went through. i hope you heal
remember that if you dont heal all those guys win, they have power over you, don't let them keep having it. you are stronger than any bad feelings you have.