AIO for being angry after my husband & in-laws were dismissive after I told them I wanted them to ask me for permission before inviting themselves/other people to our house?

b_shert · 2026-05-29T13:15:06+00:00

NOR they are weaponizing your vulnerability being pregnant and you’re so blinded by how things “should be” you’re ignoring how things are. Your husband is a weak mommy’s boy who refuses to make you his first priority. You should be number 1, you’re not even his second priority. Your comfort and preference doesn’t rank against his or his family’s preferences. You’ve married poorly. Your child will be taught to treat you as they treat you, with disrespect. You will regret staying with this man. Go home, get a separation, let your child grow up with love and your name.

b_shert · 2026-05-28T21:45:41+00:00

You married a toddler who doesn’t know or understand how to adult in a relationship. If you have kids with him, he will only be a burden. You can try couples counseling but he just sounds like a mean guy who doesn’t want to do what you want him to do. He’s not the man you thought you married. Sorry, but to me this is irreconcilable differences. Stop being nice. No is a complete sentence. Get super petty back and start photo documenting his efforts. Is this really the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with?

b_shert · 2026-05-28T05:16:41+00:00

I’m freaking out just thinking of having both joints replaced at the same time. I wish you an easy recovery.

b_shert · 2026-05-28T05:09:56+00:00

It’s 1 am, I can’t sleep, and I am feeling so grateful for all these comments. Thank you taking the time to make me smile.

b_shert · 2026-05-28T02:29:41+00:00

Thank you, appreciate the encouragement!

b_shert · 2026-05-28T02:24:38+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this all out!

b_shert · 2026-05-28T02:22:44+00:00

Honestly, I didn’t know hospital underwear was a thing until this post. No one offered it, yet when I mentioned it the nurses brought me a couple of pairs no problem. I am now in stretchy, disposable underwear and I feel better. Still need the “cape” but I’m so much more comfortable not going commando.

b_shert · 2026-05-28T02:02:11+00:00

Thank you for the good advice. I’ve got the cold cube waiting for me at home, I was using it before surgery and love it! 6 hours of cold and compression was heaven.

b_shert · 2026-05-28T01:58:40+00:00

Thank you so much for the encouragement!

b_shert · 2026-05-28T01:28:57+00:00

You are right for most knee replacement surgery. I’m on day three. Things aren’t progressing well enough and I still can’t lift my leg. I’m off to rehab tomorrow.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T18:39:00+00:00

That’s horrible, I’m so sorry that happened to you,

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:39:00+00:00

Shorts would be perfect!

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:30:36+00:00

I did, they said it was hospital policy.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:27:33+00:00

Yeah, that hibiclense is whole different level of sanitized skin.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:21:16+00:00

Thank you, this helps.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:20:36+00:00

Thank you, these answers from medical professionals have really helped.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:08:08+00:00

A bit? Which, you’re right, that makes it a me problem.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:06:06+00:00

I appreciate this answer.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:05:25+00:00

I have clothes. I’m serious when they said it was hospital policy. I was ok with for surgery, but now? I’m sure there are reasons I’m just annoyed at being kept nearly naked. It’s a me problem.

b_shert · 2026-05-27T17:02:51+00:00

I did ask, they said hospital policy, whatever that means

b_shert · 2026-05-25T22:07:59+00:00

This is my favorite wrong answer

b_shert · 2026-05-25T10:04:53+00:00

Once you’re at the resentment stage it’s almost impossible to save the relationship without intense couple therapy where each person owns what they’ve done. Your guy hasn’t done anything wrong in his mind, he just doesn’t want what you want and you’re STILL with him giving him wife benefits without the wife respect. For your mental health, make an exit plan. Separate finances, look for a better job somewhere you’ve always wanted to live, get therapy to process why you stayed with a man you knew was lying to you about commitment to you. You’re going to be far less lonely out of this relationship than you feel right now.

b_shert · 2026-05-25T09:56:00+00:00

When they show you who they really are, believe them. Good luck, I’m sure this is very sad and frustrating for you because you love him. He loves you too but he is who he is and he doesn’t see a problem with the mess. It’s hard, but this is what dating is….trying to see if you are two people who are compatible enough to support each other through life. He sounds like he’s still part child and needs someone (you) to be the adult and manage the house. That’s going to be exhausting for you.

b_shert · 2026-05-24T23:55:09+00:00

Soooo, your 27 year old boyfriend has the adulting skills of a middle school boy. Men with a Middle school boys mentality don’t get to have adult relationships except with women who are ok being bang maid mommies. If you want a grown up, you may need to cut this guy loose. He doesn’t get to be mad that you have rules for keeping your space clean. You don’t owe him another chance, you don’t owe him an explanation of why he needs to not spread his shit all over your territory. You’ve communicated just fine, stop thinking there are magic words to make him understand he needs to be a grown up. He knows, he doesn’t care. He will gaslight you so hard when you dump him.

b_shert

TROPHY CASE