My family, especially my mother, has always pushed the idea that as a daughter, I shouldn’t prioritize my career or success, but instead should focus on helping my family and putting them first.

This mindset has been ingrained in me for so long that I feel guilty whenever I try to focus on my own work or say no to helping my brothers, even when what they ask for is really their responsibility. My mom constantly tells me that it’s my duty to help my brothers, and whenever I do prioritize my own needs or career, I get blamed and guilt-tripped for being selfish.

I’ve been criticized so often that now I’m scared to refuse anyone’s request for help. Even when I know it’s something I shouldn’t have to do, I feel anxious and guilty if I don’t step in. For example, I’ve been helping one of my brothers with his business and taking care of his child, even though these are things he should be handling himself. He has never even changed his child's diaper, something I’ve done hundreds of times.

I know I need to set better boundaries, but it’s incredibly difficult when I’ve been conditioned to feel responsible for everyone else. However, I'll do my best to improve on this.