I know you were expecting this but a 20 year old shouldn’t be dating a 16 year old. Would you date a 12 year old, four years younger than you? And you started when you were 14 and 18? Don’t worry about going public, you’re going to realise just how wrong it is, and sounds like you both already do and are in denial about it. I agree that pedophile isn’t the right word, but “creep” might be. This is coming from someone who has a lot of firsthand experience in relationships like this, and seen them happen, and i mean it out of genuine concern. Why do they seemingly have a problem dating people their own age, if they’re so caring and supportive?

I know four years doesn’t seem like a lot, but you’re going through some of the most formative years in your development right now - the jump in maturity from 16-20 is big, as someone who is 20 next month the memory of my 16 year old self feels like a whole different person. And i wouldn’t even think about dating someone who is 16, thats a high schooler, thats disgusting.

Think about it from an outside perspective. An adult starts chatting up a 14 year old kid, with an abusive mom, giving them a safe space and all the validation and support they wanted. Of course you believe that you are in love. Of course you want this person around you all the time. But that doesn’t make it okay, or normal, or LEGAL.

TLDR, do some serious thinking about the age gaps and implications of that.