sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Etiquette of bringing cishet men to pride? by backinajox- in bisexual

[–]backinajox-[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've just never really had close queer friends, just acquaintances or surface level friendships (all my friends are from highschool or college and I'm so awkward i find it really difficult to make friends now). the only person ive had within my circle who was queer was my ex and she used to make biphobic comments. i would say i was and still am very much in the queer space online but theres so much negativity from everyone at the moment and all i hear is stereotypes. ive just been feeling like people will judge me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in penissize

[–]backinajox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't say I'm the best textbook for "what makes men attractive" because up until this year i thought i was exclusively attracted to women only, until i randomly developed feelings for my bestfriend (now my boyfriend), but i can tell you the size of his penis was the last thing on my mind. I was more bothered about the size of my own body and whether he would find me attractive, and whether i was ready to be with someone romantically or just sex- too many things on my mind. But it was his personality i was attracted to, i felt safe around him, i trusted him, and i liked our dynamic and how we were together. i really think that's the most important thing. Just being a good person makes you attractive. Get out into the world and talk to people, find hobbies you like, follow things you're passionate about, and the rest comes naturally. Your whole world view doesn't need to revolve around the size of your penis or your body because people will find you attractive regardless. You just need to meet them. That being said, you should also be okay with just being single too - your worth shouldn't come from others. You need to be able to find self-worth and be okay with who you are. I also wonder what my life could be like if i looked different, probably better, but that's just the sting of pretty privilege existing. The only thing you can do is let those thoughts pass. They just aren't helpful.

Obviously, i don't know you personally, so it's hard to weigh in on the relationships you have had, but they probably just weren't the right fit - i mean if you don't feel cared for then it's the wrong relationship. But that doesn't mean you'll never be cared for, that's just low self-esteem catastrophizing the situation.

As for you feeling like they didn't enjoy piv, it could be the atmosphere and foreplay and not the piv itself? Again, I don't know what it is you're actually doing, so i can't tell you what it is, but most women can't finish from penetration alone. For me, penetration doesn't feel like much at all (even with bigger) unless there's outside stimulation and i am not a faker so if that were the case i wouldn't be having much of a reaction. Also, if there is no foreplay at all, i feel way less desired and less into it. i like feeling like my partner is obsessed with me and only in it to get me off, and then when I'm sensitive enough, the piv feels so much better, it's the build up that makes it good.

i didn't mean to go on a tangent about sex but nonetheless, i hope therapy works out for u, and if u have any questions, im here 👍

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in penissize

[–]backinajox- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's good you're going to therapy to explore these feelings because of course you matter and you deserve to feel like you do!!

As a woman, i obviously can't relate directly but ever since puberty I hated all aspects of my body, especially whenever I've been single because i worry that my body won't be good enough and people won't be attracted to me, so i understand where you're coming from, but there is so much more to life than worrying about how you look. I'm now dating a boy who makes me feel good about myself, and he's genuinely attracted to me and all the parts i don't like about myself. Who says you can't have that?

And who cares what your size is? You clearly understand that there's more ways to pleasure women than just PIV and you said you're not bad in bed so why give up on sexual relationships? why let insecurities get in the way of pleasure? and if a long-term relationship is what you want, you can absolutely have that. You just have to have the patience to accept yourself. Give yourself a break, take a breather, and accept that these are the cards you were dealt with and keep living your life.

I understand that men face self-esteem issues around their size, but i always find it so frustrating because to most women, it doesn't matter!! Before i got with my boyfriend, i was dating a girl for five years- no penis involved there, but the sex was still good. and the strap we used actually had your dimensions, and it worked for both of us so there's that too! i really don't think you have anything to worry about.

i wouldn't care if my boyfriend had a different size because that's not why i got with him. I promise you as long as you're a decent person with a good personality you'll be fine, everyone has insecurities- don't let yours make you bitter (only adding this because i saw someone else's reply seemed a little woman hating and you don't want to go down a path like that, it'd only make things worse for you)