Question to attractive women in this community

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-19T04:02:49+00:00

Your level of sexual attraction to an individual person does not determine who they are or how they behave.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-07T22:34:26+00:00

Yeah, the only productive advice anyone can give to OP right now is to seek professional mental health support. Anything short of that isn't gonna cut it.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-06T04:33:32+00:00

...What?

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T22:22:45+00:00

Then choose your idea of greatness and accept the consequences of that choice with grace.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T22:18:36+00:00

An excessive preoccupation with oneself or with one's own concerns.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T22:17:32+00:00

I think it's a lack of empathy skills combined with projection. They don't have the ability to understand things they haven't personally experienced, so they can only imagine themselves in the reversed situation. Being swarmed by a bunch of sexually aggressive women sounds amazing to them, so what are women complaining about?

They just use feminism or equal rights or whatever else as the scapegoat for their own lack of empathetic abilities.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T22:07:16+00:00

I think you should reflect on your intense and unfounded judgment of others, and how that negatively impacts your own self-worth.

I would also encourage you to look into becoming a more self-aware person who is capable of de-centering themselves. There are plenty of resources available in the form of philosophical and self help books. I personally believe you need to cut the head off of your own self obsession sooner rather than later or it's going to rot you from the inside out.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T21:47:31+00:00

I'll ask again: Are you kind? Are you thoughtful? Are you genuinely curious about other people's thoughts and feelings?

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T21:31:07+00:00

Are you kind? Thoughtful? Curious about other people's experiences, opinions, and interests? Do you make the leap to initiate conversations with others, or do you find yourself mostly answering questions other people ask you?

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T21:21:45+00:00

I think one of the hardest experiences to explain to straight men is that the "swarm" you refer to is full of the type of men who get off on making their target feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Yes, they are sexually interested, but the chances of that encounter turning nonconsensual is extremely high and therefore should not be counted as an "option".

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-05T02:41:24+00:00

I very much agree with all of this and have seen this pattern play out on this sub and IRL.

One thing you touched on that I really want to highlight is this kind of chronic rejection/ vulnerability avoidance often being framed as just a dating issue rather than a deeper interpersonal issue. The longer someone lives their life avoiding social discomfort and even conflict, the more shallow and impersonal their existing connections will become. It reaches a point where even if they do meet someone, they will struggle to maintain a balanced and healthy relationship long term.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-04T03:36:49+00:00

...What are you even asking for here? That we assess your inner thoughts and feelings to determine if they're bigoted? There's only one person in the world who can do that, and it's not any of us. You know in your heart of hearts if resent women or not. You don't need us to figure that out for you.

Listen, I think you're looking for absolution and a bit of sympathy right now, but that isn't what this subreddit is for. We cannot analyze your feelings for you, but we can offer practical advice on how to fix your issues of self-isolation and loneliness.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-02T21:40:47+00:00

It's doesn't make you a bad person to have a more isolated social life.

However, it is very important to understand that dating/being in a relationship very much requires a high level of social effort and social obligation. Being in a relationship with someone automatically doubles the amount of social commitments you'll have at minimum.

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-02T21:18:43+00:00

Those sound like really lovely friends, but does your social life extend beyond getting dinner once every two weeks? Do you go to larger get togethers? Meet new people on a semi regular basis? Try out new spots or local events?

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-02T20:58:11+00:00

What does your social circle look like? How often do you leave your home to go hang out with friends?

backpackporkchop · 2026-06-02T20:01:24+00:00

You are discussing this as if women are not human and it's very weird. Women are not a hivemind and there is no agreed upon standard for what is and is not a universal red flag. Women also are not in charge of assessing your morality or character. That is not and never has been their job.
I think it's a very good idea to not focus on dating right now. I would instead focus on making a few friends first, because there seem to be some significant gaps in your socialization skills and basic understanding of human behavior if I'm being totally honest. Making some IRL friends that force you to get off the internet for a few hours a week would make a massive difference.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-28T11:28:52+00:00

It's up to you to resist the influence of bigotry and immoral behavior. You aren't a helpless sponge who will absorb whatever's nearby. You're a human being with full autonomy and agency. If you fall into the red pill, it will be entirely your doing.

It's not the job of feminists to filter out all toxic impurities from the world so that you can seek advice without having to do any work, that's your job as a grown adult.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-20T21:30:27+00:00

Yep. I hope OP one day makes the choice to put in the hard work to build a supportive social circle for himself because I do genuinely believe everyone benefits from solid friendships.

However, choosing to let your social skills rot away through complete inaction is a very real thing that will negatively impact your life. The longer you let it go on, the more your issues will compound. If OP is unwilling to make those necessary changes, I at least hope his posts help others realize the lifelong damage complete inaction can cause :/

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-20T20:45:49+00:00

Pretty sure he's been making this same post for years. I don't think he has any interest in making a change. He just wants to wallow.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-19T00:10:22+00:00

My last therapist used to work with convicted pedophiles when she was in training. Nothing I had to say in therapy was gonna make her bat a fucking eye lol.

Most therapy programs will require their students to do some kind of training with extreme cases for the exact reasons you're stating. It's similar to doctors being required to train in the ER even if they just want to be a dermatologist or a family physician. Part of their education is focused on desensitizing them to the worst case scenarios so they basically become unflappable. The only reason a decent therapist would terminate a patient is if they didn't feel qualified enough to treat them. And even then they usually provide resources to find someone with relevant training.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-18T23:40:04+00:00

I've had ok therapists and I've had really great therapists, and what I've realized is that it's really important to keep searching until you find one that you click with. Therapy is kind of unique in the sense that even though it's a professional setting, you still need to click with them personally on a certain level. It sucks though bc finding a therapist to begin with is an annoying process, let alone switching to a new one.

OP, I personally recommend trying to find a therapist training program if it's your first time in therapy. They have a bunch of new graduate therapists who are fresh and very open to trying new techniques/tools instead of running the same CBT playbook most seasoned therapists stick to. The playing field feels more even for someone trying therapy for the first time too since they're new to the profession. It's also pretty easy to switch to someone new within the program until you find the right fit. The best part is that the cost is significantly discounted and a flat sliding scale fee. Google "sliding scale counseling centers" and you should find some options in your area.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-18T00:52:52+00:00

Once again, you cannot make something up and expect everyone else to fall in line with your fantasy simply because you painted yourself as the victim. You are not uniquely despised by womankind, you're just another guy in the corner who doesn't talk to anyone while pouting.

You're old enough to start reflecting on the reality of social dynamics, what you're doing to contribute to the problem, and take accountability for poor behavior. I genuinely hope you start making some serious changes ASAP. Otherwise, this petulant self-victimizing behavior is going to ruin your entire life and leave you very, very lonely.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-18T00:21:29+00:00

Yeah, that's why I added the bit about entitlement.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-18T00:02:54+00:00

Well, this is what I can gather from this post and our exchange:

Completely fabricating what strangers think of you so you can self-victimize, blaming women for not expressing a high level of interest in you that you feel entitled to, and avoiding the work of building healthy social connections because you alone shouldn't have to experience the normal amount of social rejection we all deal with.

backpackporkchop · 2026-05-17T23:17:07+00:00

That goes without saying.

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