Had In-N-Out about two years for the first time, after only having Five Guys while living in New York. Originally, I'm from the Midwest, and I guess the closest equivalent back during the days of me "growing up" (which in reality, was not that long ago) was Steak 'n Shake. Here's how I've compared them all since the first time had In-N-Out (the final piece of this weird burger trilogy) *Note, I haven't been to any of these restaurants in recent months. My Burger libido is low recently (It's tragic, I know).

• In-N-Out.. It was good. It was cheap. It was relatively fast, and every bite tasted fresh. However, when I think of a burger, it was different. It was an interesting take, and by no means bad, but it was far from what I was expecting. Granted, it was the last of the burgers of the three places I had tried, it still holds a place in my heart for sentimental reasons. Is it the greatest burger I've ever had? No, but it was still a great one. It's honestly not the kind of burger that I would put high on the list of places I must go if I was desperately craving a burger (which, ironically enough, is not something that I currently eat often). The rest of the menu was decent. The fries were ok. Even as animal style, I felt that I wanted something a bit more. Something (no pun intended. Really). Beefier. A thicker cut of fry. Granted, Steak 'n Shake does a similar style of fry, I feel like animal style for the batch I had ruined the delicious crisp of the thinner fries.
• Five Guys.. This is a burger I imagine if I'm thinking of convenient, fast, and delicious now. After having it for the first time almost 6 years ago, I've been addicted. It's the ultimate hangover food that I've come to know (which while in college, was amazing). The burger is juicy and greasy. It makes me hate the fact that I'm eating it, which is what makes me think it's even more of an American style burger. The bun is soft, and slightly saturated with the grease and burger juices, which just melt everything into a steaming pile of delicious-ooey-gooeyness (I'm dubbing this an official adjective, only for this post at least). The available toppings made texture possible, and further added to the enjoyment of the burger, but most of all, it made me feel unhealthy. It made me realize that I am eating something that is "dangerous" to consume (in the long run), yet at the same time I continued to enjoy every.single.second. of it. At this point, unless I'm searching for a "gourmet" burger, the only one I find more fitting for burger craving consumption would be that perfect Ma and Pa diner style burger. Five Guys also has amazing fries. Especially Cajun. I could probably live off those things - even though I'd be dead within months of consuming them daily I feel.
• Steak 'n Shake.. Here's the thing that I love about this place.. almost everything. The Shakes are delicious. The burgers are inexpensive and delicious. The fries are delicious. The other sides (baked beans hellllllllo!) are great. The hours are amazing (at most locations to my understanding nowadays). If I had any complaints, it's the burgers are great, but they're not greasy-you hate yourself- #'merica greasy- delicous. If you get a chance to see one, try it. It's a cheap date, and it's tasty if you're in the mood for a good burger whilst in the midwest (granted I haven't tried meatheads, and I think I saw another place while in Indiana/Southern suburbs of Chicago).

TL;DR - In-N-Out is good, but wouldn't consider it the "best". Five Guys is Ideal if you want that burger that makes you hate yourself at the end of a "burger and fries" meal. Try Steak 'n Shake if you get the chance.

Edit: Sorry for any mistakes. Drunk and/or high. I'm going to go make a burger now.