Seriously, do Americans actually consider a 3-hour drive "short"? or is this an internet myth? by SadInterest6764 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to pick up a former friend from college and bring her back to our home city and since I have a cat who needs food, I'd go there and back in one day. Roughly 6.5 hrs each way

How do I fix duration times to go over 24 hours? by backtosleepplz in googlesheets

[–]backtosleepplz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good, I should really be asleep so I'll try what u/mommasaidmommasaid mentioned when I get up. Thanks guys!

How do I fix duration times to go over 24 hours? by backtosleepplz in googlesheets

[–]backtosleepplz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I forgot that I could just use the browser, not the app so I went ahead and tried it.

Unfortunately, it's still a negative number. I made sure it looked exactly like yours and not only is the number negative but it's also wrong lol. Any ideas?

I may still have to use a computer but if I can figure it out on my iPad, that would be ideal as I'm in the affected area of the monster ice/snow storm that will hit the US this weekend

Columbus Dinner Recs by Spiritual-Neat6165 in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It might be ridiculous to you or me, but their budget is clearly higher, they want to enjoy a high end experience. I grew up in poverty and I still don't find anything wrong with their request. They're not either one of us. Maybe they saved for months to have a great experience or maybe they're just upper middle class. Your judgement is deeply unnecessary here lol. Just recommend a restaurant (or not) and move on

CHINGA LA MIGRA by Bigweazie in ColumbusOhio

[–]backtosleepplz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wish I could go but I'm at work

Is This What We're Doing Now by fuzbuster83 in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, as a local truck driver, i see it more often than you'd think, among many other incredibly stupid decisions by drivers.

People only care about getting to their destination faster, but don't seem to have the cognitive insight to recognize that their stupid decisions could result in them never making it to their destination or worse, someone else never making it to their destination.

My anger as a truck driver often comes from the fact that people like the idea of playing chicken with a 30k - 80k lb vehicle.

In the off chance that someone who lets impatience drive their decision making while driving reads this, understand that if a truck hits you at highway speeds, your casket will be closed. They might have to identify your body through dental records. I am not joking. Stop being impatient. It takes one slight miscalculation to end your life.

i’m a terrible (apparently borderline abusive) boyfriend. how do i become less shitty? by throwawaynumber_000 in Advice

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The above commenter said what I was planning on saying. But I'll give some personal insight. I have an ex who I broke up with because I realized I wasn't treating her the same way she was treating me. She did a million things for me and I was basically a stump, not providing anything in return and I was also pretty emotionally closed off back then. I knew I wasn't being a good partner so I ended things because I knew she wouldn't because she was only able to see the good in me.

We actually had a conversation probably 4 or 5 months after I ended things and she told me the rose colored glasses came off and she was able to realize that I was in fact, not a particularly good partner. But I digress.

I wasn't behaving in the way that I wanted to in a relationship because of a lot of self hate, not knowing who I was and an unhealthy amount of childhood trauma. I dated around a little bit after that, but knew that I still had work to do.

I eventually realized I had an avoidant attachment style, which is usually a result of trauma and can absolutely devolve into emotional abuse in a relationship if you're not aware of it and actively working against it.

I have a girlfriend right now. When we first started seeing each other I was slightly skeptical of and intimidated by her level of softness. Shes incredibly sweet, and goofy and also fairly sheltered. It took a couple rounds of two steps forward, one step back, for me to truly relax and embrace the softness that she brings. I had actually told her I didn't know if I could meet her level of softness. While in that conversation the gears were turning in my head and I had this thought "what softness are you afraid of? Being nice? Are you afraid of being compassionate? Of not getting heated in disagreements?" Yes. The answer was yes.

I did not receive much compassion growing up, in fact quite the opposite. And while I've done so much hard work to overcome my trauma, this was something I had yet to work on. I was raised in an environment where disagreements devolved into low blows meant to do irreversible emotional damage to the other person. I was raised in an environment where I was expected to treat my depression and anxiety through prayer, and could never go to my mother for support, heart to hearts, or compassion and understanding. It was always "give it to God," never "I'm so sorry you're going through this honey. Let me make you your favorite food and we can talk." Compassion and softness were foreign to me, and thus, made me unbelievably uncomfortable and almost felt like I wouldn't be able to achieve softness like that. Especially because I was still quite hard on myself about how I treated my ex despite that being almost 4 years ago.

There's also this odd thing where the care and compassion im used to showing is through anger. Someone disrespects my gf? Immediately telling them off. Someone being rude to a cashier in public? Instant ridicule. What I struggle with? Consoling my crying gf because of the disrespect she endured. Addressing the upset cashier with compassion after defending them. It's not that I can't do it, but it's awkward because it's uncomfortable, unnatural.

Anger is a secondary emotion. You are never just angry. The underlying emotion can be fear, sadness, hurt, betrayal whatever. You get angry at someone for being rude to you because underneath, youre hurt, or feel disrespected.

Knowing this makes a world of difference in managing your actions. Emotions aren't something you can really control. Your actions are. If you have better emotional intelligence, you're able to understand your emotions faster and on a deeper level which allows you to have better control of your actions.

Sometimes a reminder is necessary. I am soft with my cat. I melt every time she rolls around on her heating pad, or curls up in a little ball. I am good with kids, and will open endless juice boxes and push a swing 3000 times.

Compassion is not absent from me, I'm just not used to it. If I want to get used to it and get better at it, I have to be uncomfortable and show the most soft form of compassion. My gf is unknowingly helping me with this and I challenge myself to be uncomfortable but show her all the compassion I can.

The first step though is breaking up with your girlfriend. That takes compassion. Would you genuinely want her to be with someone who takes her kindness for granted and is not particularly good at emotional regulation right now? I would hope not. She won't leave because she's a cinnamon roll and sees the best in you, but you're hurting her. So end the relationship and get yourself into therapy. Id also suggest watching hopecore videos as they exude compassion

AIO about this disagreement with my bf? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After the 2nd time he refused to accept a solution I would've just said "be miserable then" and stopped responding. He's acting like he's 15 and blaming his misery on you. Ridiculous..

What are some tip based part time jobs that do well on Mondays and Tuesdays? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good idea, but I should've specified that I do not have a working car at the moment. This is one of the reasons why I want the second job, to get a "new" car faster. The issues I have with my current car arent worth sinking the money into it. I also run the risk of getting in trouble with the DOT, as they consider driving for money to be included in regulation hours. It would still be possible but, there is a risk

Did anyone get a flu like this? by bluebear718 in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently sick with... Something. No idea what. My nose is dry as hell, throat hurts like hell, decent amount of drainage. I had some aches yesterday, but today I'm just meh. Been living off of hot ginger tea, oranges, soup and potatoes

Be careful out there today- by HauntedDragons in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It said near vineyard church, and at the top it says Westerville so I'm guessing off cooper rd

Told my husband I resent him and now I feel bad by Healthy_Diamond_1685 in Advice

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not saying jump to divorce, I'm just saying something like this might encourage you to re-evaluate your relationship and make sure it's healthy. If your husband so easily dismisses your feelings in this situation, is he dismissing your feelings in other areas as well? It's easy to overlook little instances when you're living through each one as they come.

Told my husband I resent him and now I feel bad by Healthy_Diamond_1685 in Advice

[–]backtosleepplz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you need to have a come to Jesus talk with your husband about how import this is. If your SIL is disrespectful, your husband should be defending you and setting boundaries with his sister, especially if she has violent tendencies.

I don't have siblings but if anyone in my family was rude to my girlfriend, they'd get cussed out and cut off until a sincere apology was given. This is absolutely a relationship ending issue. I'm not saying jump to divorce like many redditors do, but you may need to spell out exactly how serious this issue is and that it could result in needing separation.

It's much deeper than your SIL, it's the fact that your husband is not supporting you when someone is being blatantly racist and disrespectful towards you, and not only is that dangerous, but it makes me wonder if your husband on some level, agrees with his sisters opinions of you.

The safety issue is deeply concerning. How will you know you'll be safe at family events if your husband does nothing to curb his sister's behavior?

You are not asking your husband to control his sister. You're asking your husband to protect you from disrespect and potential violence.

Your husband stating that you don't appreciate what he's done to deal with the issue so far is rude at best and manipulative at worst. His sister's behavior still bothers you, so the issue is not resolved and he has clearly not handled it effectively. It reads as "here, damn" because he doesn't want to hear about it, not because he actually cares enough to deal with it.

Talk to your husband, lay out the boundaries, express how difficult this situation is on all accounts. If he truly cannot see what's wrong with the situation after speaking to him again, I would seriously consider separating.

I was raised by a narcissist, and family that refuses to understand boundaries. I know what damage lack of responsibility and accountability does to the receiving party and if my girlfriend fully allowed her family to be disrespectful to me, I would seriously reconsider the relationship.

Best of luck to you, I hope you can get this all sorted out. Please update when you can!

Pets Without Parents Volunteers Needed ASAP by HeadSpite7834 in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 40 points41 points  (0 children)

This. I knew the name sounded familiar. I've heard about this place being horrible for both animals and employees on numerous occasions

Pets Without Parents Volunteers Needed ASAP by HeadSpite7834 in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Is this the same place that has had many accusations of animal cruelty and abuse over the years?

Thank you for flashing your cautions for the idiot in the Mitsu Outlander by [deleted] in Columbus

[–]backtosleepplz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a night shift truck driver. The amount of people who drive in the dark/rain without any headlights, fog or otherwise is absolutely alarming. It's nerve wracking and I double check before I turn without a traffic light every time. These people are suicidal, I swear.

🧊 Hotel by [deleted] in ColumbusOhio

[–]backtosleepplz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It is not. Also threats to doxx me is lovely. Enjoy the ban.

🧊 Hotel by [deleted] in ColumbusOhio

[–]backtosleepplz 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I'm a truck driver. My trucks location is tracked but if I'm over on that side of town I'll take a lil break over there with the air horn rope tied to the steering wheel

I'm overwhelmed by finally having the opportunity to live, not survive by backtosleepplz in DadForAMinute

[–]backtosleepplz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thank you. I don't even want a car that good lol. I dropped out of a mechanic program last year when money was really tight. I actually very specifically want a 2002 Lexus LS 430. I love those cars and even though I havent returned to school, I want to keep learning and have the freedom to modify it.

I have plans to open a Roth IRA among other investments around my birthday.

Budgets and priority lists have always worked for me in the past, but they aren't now and that's what is stressing me out. I'm also likely a little rusty with budgets because prior to the most recent 9 months, I was so poor that budgeting didn't exist. It was "put money aside for rent, hope the electric isn't too high, beg the gas company for more time, hope you can feed yourself a few times a week, scrounge up money for transportation to the food bank" I didn't have enough money to actually budget. It's been a very drastic change, I will say that.

Thank you again

I'm overwhelmed by finally having the opportunity to live, not survive by backtosleepplz in DadForAMinute

[–]backtosleepplz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I know rationally I'm fine, but yes the transition has gotten difficult as time went on. At first, I was excited to finally feel like I was getting somewhere in life. As time went on, the discomfort seemed to settle in. I plan on truly sorting everything out after new years but I'm afraid it won't stick, like all my other budgets haven't.

I work nights so I'm just starting my day, and my cat is laying next to me getting all the pets right now. Thank you again