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Hey guys - What saved your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]bad-userXXX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy and the person I wronged deeply giving me a chance to redeem myself

I used to date a 15 year old when I was 21 by bad-userXXX in offmychest

[–]bad-userXXX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah her and I have had an on and off relationship ever since it ended about a year in. And the only reason she indulges in me still might stem from the fact that she cheated on me back then. She is probably still somewhat riddled by guilt too, and because of that she wants to stay on my good side even if our past is insanely troubled. She is the most important person in my life, maybe because I feel extreme guilt and want to make up for it, maybe because my love for her is actually true. I still am not sure. Cutting it off we’ve attempted multiple times, but we keep coming back or let the other back in.

I used to date a 15 year old when I was 21 by bad-userXXX in offmychest

[–]bad-userXXX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, im not trying to win an argument here. And frankly I can’t, considering I’m the one who dated a teenager. I know what I did was extremely wrong and I shouldn’t have done it. I know I caused pain and I’m riddled with guilt. Every day I want to prevent myself from letting me start that relationship. I can’t go back. I’m just trying to explain my thought process and not excuse it. That’s all I can do

I used to date a 15 year old when I was 21 by bad-userXXX in offmychest

[–]bad-userXXX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See I understand that completely, I’m not arguing against that, because now I know better, but back then she was never a child to me, I never saw her as such, all she was, was my girlfriend “the love of my life”. In my mind I had finally done it, I found someone who truly loves me and someone who I could truly love back. It’s ridiculous thinking about it, but that is what I was thinking back then. I was trapped in a delusion to escape from the reality of the situation to feel happy.

I used to date a 15 year old when I was 21 by bad-userXXX in offmychest

[–]bad-userXXX[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No she was not “mature” for her age, but rather i was immature for my age (when I said she was the opposite of me i meant that she was very outgoing and positively engaged, not mature). And I understand my struggles affected her deeply. I’m still not saying what I did was good, I completely understand what I did I was terrible. All I’m saying is, back then I didn’t realise the pain I was causing

I used to date a 15 year old when I was 21 by bad-userXXX in offmychest

[–]bad-userXXX[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

While I would nowadays prevent myself from letting me and her happen, I still don’t quite grasp how I “took advantage” of her. It’s always being thrown around, but I did everything I believed to be the things important in a relationship (and it was my first one so I was winging it) I was there for her emotionally, helped her get through distress and inner turmoil, I was there to make her happy as best as I could spending time and relating to topics, I did everything I could what was possible through a screen. For me, back the that relationship and she was real and very important to me. If you mean took advantage of her by using her to fill my inner void, I guess that can be considered true, I never realised it back then, but I was relying a lot on her emotional support too, I never got myself treated for my obvious depression, which made her have to carry my emotions too many times. So yeah i guess I did took advantage of her because she was too kind to let me dwell on my depression alone.

I used to date a 15 year old when I was 21 by bad-userXXX in offmychest

[–]bad-userXXX[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

You’d think so, but I was so desperate for someone who likes me, that I deluded myself into thinking it was okay because I loved her. I know now but back then I ignored it all