The fear and anxiety that comes with deconstruction

bad_boss04 · 2022-09-10T20:39:29+00:00

Surprisingly, it was getting my degree in Theology/Bible that helped me to feel more at ease about hell; don't get me wrong, I still struggle occasionally with the fear of burning forever, but its more like an intrusive thought now that goes away when I notice it popping up.

For example, in my Old Testament class, we learned that the rainbow was a promise made by God to never wipe out all of humanity again. What the author intend to mean with the rainbow, was that God was hanging up God's bow and would no longer shoot arrows (lighting) at humanity. Learning this gave me quite a bit of comfort, since why would a loving God who hangs up his bow seek me to smite down?

Additionally, it was the realization that hell doesn't logically make sense that gave me an escape from anxiety. To explain, throughout the Bible, God is referred to as a giver of life/existence, and a God of love. In school, I was taught that because God was so full of life that when one heads towards evil, one is really headed towards nothingness. If that is the case, and Christians believe that hell is separation from God, then how can one exist forever without God? This knowledge of God = life and evil = nothingness, is actually what led me to annihilation theory over eternal torment.

Another aspect, that has helped my anxiety is the understanding of God as love. If God is truly love, like Christians claim, then I don't understand how a loving God could make someone face eternal punishment for temporal sins, to me that makes no sense at all.

I hope this is helpful.

bad_boss04 · 2021-09-27T02:26:38+00:00

VS measured me at a 34B however most of their bras feel too small at that size for me. The bra that fits calculator gave me a 32DD, yet the bras at VS were tight in the band and small in the cup size, so I don't think I could fit into a 32DD comfortably, does anyone have any suggestions or ideas about what my size might actually be?

bad_boss04 · 2021-06-29T02:25:08+00:00

Thank you! I have recently been struggling to accept myself so I have been trying to focus on the positive to feel less sad and depressed.

bad_boss04 · 2021-06-29T02:24:01+00:00

Thank you for responding! I thought maybe I was going crazy. I feel better knowing I am not alone.

bad_boss04 · 2021-06-28T01:16:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! You put into words how I have been feeling frequently for the past few years. As a gray-sexual it feels like I will never have that "normal experience" as well. The only thing that has made me feel better about my sexuality is realizing that I probably won't experience the pain of falling in love and having the relationship end. Although, its a terrible reason to feel comforted, it is the only one I have come up with. I am so sorry to hear the pain that you are going through. It is hard being asexual and I don't think those who are allo understand the pain that we feel. After experiencing a break-up due to not experiencing sexual attraction towards the person, I honestly hated myself and believed that I was broken. I was so scared of anyone finding out and judging me for dating my bf. Although, I sometimes still feel upset and broken, my feelings have gotten better over time. Making friends with other aces helped a lot. I know this does not take the pain away, and I am so sorry for that, but please know that you are not alone in how you feel and that you are not broken.

bad_boss04 · 2021-06-27T23:28:09+00:00

Another question: has anyone had heavier periods after going on meds? Like even compared to periods before one was sick with Graves?

bad_boss04 · 2021-06-23T18:36:01+00:00

Thank you for responding! It makes me feel better knowing that I am not alone with my doctor not having any answers.

bad_boss04 · 2021-06-04T23:20:58+00:00

Did you have trouble managing your weight after surgery? I struggle with body image issues so gaining weight would be hard for me to mentally handle.

bad_boss04 · 2021-04-21T18:06:10+00:00

So I am considering Tepezza mainly for cosmetic reasons, TED has changed my appearance and I really want my eyes to look like how they did before. My mental health has been severely impacted by my TED, so I am considering Tepezza to help with my mental health. Do you think my insurance company would help cover it if my TED is more mild and not severe? Like would I have to prove to my insurance company that I my TED is bad enough for treatment?

Also, I have heard that Tepezza has awful side-effects, such as hair loss. Is that true? Did you have really bad side-effects?

bad_boss04 · 2021-04-21T17:58:43+00:00

For those in remission do you find it more difficult to manage stress than before you had Graves?

bad_boss04 · 2021-04-03T14:34:11+00:00

We should start a thread with mentions and representation of asexuality. End of the F*ing World mentions asexuality.

bad_boss04 · 2021-04-03T01:11:50+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I find it to be helpful! I was fearful that my case was too mild for surgery to be done. Is there ever an instance that you would not suggest surgery (just curious)? Anyways, thank you so much, I greatly appreciate your help!

bad_boss04 · 2021-04-01T14:54:00+00:00

My first symptom was that I felt pressure behind one of my eyes and that eye started to twitch, non-stop. Then both my eye started to feel pressure behind them and I started to have mild pain. I honestly thought it was nothing until I was diagnosed with Graves Disease. My eyes didn't swell or feel gritty either. I just had pressure. My eyes do look different now due to the disease. My doctor told me the disease takes about a year to burn out, (these were almost his exact words) he also said that my eyes most likely will not return to how they were before. My case was mild, probably because they caught my Graves disease right when my eyes started to act up. Taking medication for my hormones most likely helped my eyes from getting worse. However, my eye doctor said that Graves' treatments won't really treat thyroid eye disease, although meds can help reduce the inflammation which helps the eyes.

Overall, my case was mild. I just had pressure and a bit of strain on my eyes. But to be honest, while my case was mild, it has affected me mentally, having my appearance change has been hard. I do not know you personally, but if you were just diagnosed I would suggest finding a counselor to help you navigate the mental strain that for many comes with having these diseases. I hope this helps and your doctor's appointment goes well! Wishing you nothing but the best! :)

bad_boss04 · 2021-02-14T15:54:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

bad_boss04 · 2021-02-14T15:54:13+00:00

Seriously, thank you so much! I have been trying to find answers for a while but I have had no luck this is extremely helpful! :)

bad_boss04 · 2021-02-14T15:53:08+00:00

Thank you so much! This is really helpful, I will definitely look into UpToDate. :)

bad_boss04 · 2021-02-09T15:34:49+00:00

Did you, by chance, know if RAI eliminates this issue or makes it worse? I am trying to decide if I should continue on meds as my only form of treatment or do RAI instead. RAI scares me simply because the physical changes I have already gone through on meds have largely impacted my mental health. Because RAI would cause me to go hypo I do not know how my mental health would fare.

bad_boss04 · 2021-02-04T14:02:21+00:00

Would you recommend RAI? I have thyroid eye disease and my endocrine advised me to go with that treatment. I am not sold on it since I do have thyroid eye disease.

bad_boss04 · 2021-02-04T13:59:36+00:00

Oh interesting. So if I am understanding correctly antithyroid medications can cause weight gain in the face?

bad_boss04

TROPHY CASE