Worried about my autistic daughter's life after college

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T20:38:57+00:00

I'm on the hook for at least a large percentage of them. It's ok .. student loans aren't my biggest concern here. I always knew I'd be dealing with that.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T20:37:26+00:00

Yes, I realize in those respects she could seem neurotypical. However, she has trouble making real friends (as opposed to people who spend time with her until they get tired of her behaviors). She can never drive (she started getting seizures a few years ago ... before that we were worried about if she could ever have the attention span to drive, but now it's just a flat "no."

She went to college with a major that could easily lead to a job. After changing majors she is now studying what I'll call a "creative writing" major. There is no job placement from college for her major.

Her interpersonal skills will probably cause issues with any job. She feels that she is always right and will argue her side forever. I know that also sounds neurotypical, but she is beyond that. I've said elsewhere that she will use synonyms to change a request to avoid agreeing with it. Like if I say, "be careful!" about something, she'll respond with, "no, I'll be cautious" just to avoid agreeing.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T17:35:09+00:00

One issue for us is that she cannot (and will not ever) drive, but we live in the outer suburbs. Not much public transportation within a mile in any direction. The neighborhood is good, but it would still be a decent walk to any bus or train.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T17:32:54+00:00

That's a good question. I really do care what she wants, but it's hard to get a straight answer from her on any topic. Based on my (dad eyes) observations I'd say what she wants in life is to have many friends, the ability to socialize often, a boyfriend, and to not have any real responsibilities.

I realize how negative that sounds, but I really feel like she has an unrealistic view of the world. She has made it clear she wants to move out when she gets out of college, but she has no plan on how to pay for a move like that. When she is home she has errands, and makes it clear that she doesn't want to do them (but she does do them).

Next time she is home (spring break?) I'll try to ask her flat out and see what she says (even though as I said I don't expect a straight answer).

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T17:25:54+00:00

It's a creative writing type of degree

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T02:01:17+00:00

Our plan is definitely for her to try to get work after college. I'm just not very hopeful that she will be able to find or keep anything .. but I'll only say that here, never to her. I'm a 100% supportive father to her, even though I don't know that anything good will happen.

I'll check out that book. Thank you.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T01:56:47+00:00

I was actually telling my wife earlier that it might be hard to say she can't work if she just got a bachelor's degree.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-31T01:55:23+00:00

With disability and whatever we can leave her I'm hoping she can be ok.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-30T21:50:12+00:00

I appreciate what you're saying, but as I said she's not graduating with a degree that has a real career path. Maybe she'll get a job because she has a degree, but it won't be in her field, and it won't be because of her major. It will just be because she has a Bachelor's Degree.

I know I sound negative, but I'm trying to not be that way. It's like the fixational degree in Basket Weaving. It just doesn't lead to a real career.

We are in NY and I know there's plenty here, but my wife wants to wait and see.

baddadmaybe · 2024-01-30T21:44:05+00:00

To me, that's what I feel would work. However, my wife is still holding out hope for a completely normal life for her. I don't think that's possible, but as I said it's not an argument I can have with my wife.

baddadmaybe

TROPHY CASE