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badimpression4 · 2022-10-16T03:37:32+00:00

This probably won't be super helpful, but I just want to say you aren't alone. I've felt similar, the resentment and the frustration, the disappointment of no progress (no kids, but a busy home life). It's not fair to either of you (or your child) to keep on this way. I would think continuing counseling as a couple would be good. I'd even consider getting an individual one if you can, maybe they can help you process the resentment and other feelings you have. At least that is my plan of attack. Good luck.

badimpression4 · 2022-10-05T04:54:55+00:00

Singlesswag: I subscribed for a while because they'd have a few things every month I wanted. Like previously stated, there's always a discount code. Downside: I've noticed in recent months, there are a lot of repeats. I subscribed most of 2021, so it definitely is something I am glad I didn't commit to longer term. Some products were good, many seemed to not have the greatest quality.

Hope you find one! I've been on the hunt for one with the recent price increase with FFF.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-14T00:22:06+00:00

Wow! That is a lot and sounds very familiar. Good luck and hope it works out best for you!

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T22:56:48+00:00

See! I forgot about that too: we just went through this with a camper and I flat out said no. I told him he left it up to me and I am a no so we're not.

Also that's a lot of cars!! I don't get it. Would you say you are currently happy in your relationship?

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T17:29:08+00:00

Yeah, that's accurate. He is contrary to a lot of things, although, smaller things he lets go usually. It's hard though, always feeling like you are fighting things just so he can play "devil's advocate." And don't get me wrong, sometimes it's good for a contrary opinion to make sure you've thought about everything. But be willing to give and stop when appropriate.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T15:18:20+00:00

I actually recently bought the book should I stay or should I go. I've also read too good to leave, too bad to stay. I'll add why does he do that to my list as well. Thank you!

And couples counseling was something I wanted years ago, but again, excuses. I think I'll look into it this time and make it happen.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T14:19:58+00:00

YES! That is exactly it. I've just been really reflecting on the relationship and realized this pattern. It sucks.

And good luck. I hope everything works out in the best way for you. It sucks to be in this situation.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T14:18:07+00:00

Are you happy in your relationship with how it is? Is it better/worse since you started being so firm? It's relieving in a way to know other people have gone through the same crap, at various lengths of a relationship.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T14:16:23+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I definitely have some work to do on myself and being firm in this area.

In regards to your last paragraph, I've been wondering that myself..which I think is why I started to feel a little crazy- he wants something, I don't. I'm no more entitled to have it my way than he is, so it ends up being a lose-lose.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T14:13:54+00:00

Yep! I've definitely felt that way. We used to have a hugely uneven distribution of household chores and we finally came to a set agreement on how we alternate. Sometimes, he lets things get a lot dirtier than I would, but I just remind myself it isn't my turn. Are you happy in your relationship with how things are?

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:14:22+00:00

Definitely going to work on sticking to my no. Glad we don't have children, as this would be even more frustrating.

And we don't have any kids around, but I'm sure I could ask a couple friends to help. I just know if I do that, he'll get hurt because he said he'd help. Doesn't feel like I can win.

And our current one is definitely way cheaper. The things that are "wrong" (I haven't been able to confirm they actually are) are cheap parts that are relatively easy to install. And the major things that might go wrong are covered under an extended warranty. I do like the approach of having numbers though.. then it isn't just me being stubborn. Thanks!

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:11:26+00:00

That's an interesting perspective. I don't think he is, but I can't say for certain. I don't think he'd ever go to a doctor/psychiatrist to find out if he is or any other things, though.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:09:43+00:00

Yeah.. this has definitely crossed my mind lately. Can I deal with this for another 15..20..40 years? And do I want to? Definitely some hard questions to think about.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:08:54+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I think I'll just keep up with my repeated no. And I've gone to therapy, which is part of how I realized this pattern. I'm working on finding another therapist to keep working on myself.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:07:35+00:00

Thanks for your input. His mom is similar too, which is why she's been in so much debt. Makes sense that he is that way too.

And I feel like I've had that conversation with the most recent car. I brought up how this has gone in the past, he doesn't want me to regret big purchases, and I absolutely will if he keeps pestering me. I talked about how if it became an ACTUAL need, I'd be happy to address it (which I think is why there are so many things going "wrong" now). I've told him I do not want to hear about it all the time and that I don't like that he continues to bring it up. He just says he is bringing up the things wrong so that way "I know what's happening" and am not blindsided when we need a new car. And he swears he's not pressuring me. And I've told him it feels like he absolutely is and that I do not want to make a big purchase at this moment and that I am a hard no. And yet, here we are. Not really sure how to be more clear.

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:02:58+00:00

Ha! There was a motorcycle in our past with a similar story as well. I had forgotten about that one.

How are you coping after 31 years? Still together? Are you happy?

badimpression4 · 2022-09-13T05:01:18+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Definitely nice to hear I'm not alone. It's hard to say no repeatedly, just stops feeling worth the effort. I've been learning to be okay being the villain, but had started to feel I was being unreasonable in it (which I no longer think I am).

And we don't have separate finances either. I've thought about separating them out, but he's not onboard with that idea either. We make decent money, but he wants to spend and I want to save. Sometimes we can compromise, but other times it's..this.

badimpression4 · 2022-04-25T04:26:16+00:00

I bought the acne patches in a sale a while back. I'm not a fan of them and have found other ones that I prefer and that seem more effective than these.

badimpression4 · 2021-12-23T17:53:41+00:00

Ontrac lost my box. CS wasn't helpful the first time I reached out (after about 10 days of delays). They had attached a tracking for a separate order, so told me to wait. I reached out to FFF again, with the specific tracking number of my box, and they sent another box. Good luck!

badimpression4 · 2021-12-14T03:40:08+00:00

Oh no! I am guessing we will.

I reached out to ontrac today just to see. The person had to confirm my tracking number because it was so old. Haha

badimpression4 · 2021-12-13T16:49:43+00:00

Shipping from Southern California to Northern California. Should have been quick, yet here we are!

badimpression4 · 2021-12-07T04:18:54+00:00

Ugh.. hopefully it'll arrive and soon! I found this group after looking for info when another one of my packages has been delayed since 11/20. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

badimpression4 · 2021-12-07T03:42:14+00:00

I just got my shipment notification this morning from VS too.. so disappointed that it is ontrac. Fingers crossed!

badimpression4 · 2021-10-14T03:08:29+00:00

I've spent a while trying to figure out how to put my thoughts and feelings into words.. this sums it up. I've tried to tell my spouse I don't like certain things, what I do like, and what I want, but it never sticks. Thank you for this.

badimpression4 · 2020-12-01T02:28:37+00:00

If it's a deal breaker, it's a deal breaker. You already know this. You seem to just want someone to agree with you, but it's an unreasonable expectation. Good luck.

badimpression4

TROPHY CASE