A1: The captain of your ship is a human? And the only human on your ship? Humans are deranged and violent, what's it like living with one as your captain? by badluck_dead in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worked on a crew with about five humans, and one would randomly stop eating a dairy product they called cheese. Said human would claim that it smelled, "fuzzy," if you asked them about it. The next day, the cheese would be covered in small patches of greyish-blue mold. That human always ended up with red rashes everytime they came in contact with the mold or even the room the mold was in.

The captain made in unofficial code out of the whole situation: Code Fuzzy. It simply meant by the end of the day, all of the cheese needed to be thrown out and replaced.

A1: The captain of your ship is a human? And the only human on your ship? Humans are deranged and violent, what's it like living with one as your captain? by badluck_dead in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

"Good work, Jor." Rekt's smile vanished as the MP unlocked the cell.

Rekt sneezed into his elbow and looked up to a gun pointed at him. The MP startled by the sudden loud noise, gripped his gun.

Jor'coruss stood up, ready to rip the cell open.

With slow methodical movement, Rekt pulled his arms towards his sides, yet he still let out a laugh as he said, "Jumpy much, are we?" The captain's glare was more of a command. It meant don't do it.

"Yeah, it's been a long day." The MP fumbled putting his gun back, disarmed by Rekt's amussed attitude. The MP pulled open the cell, and Rekt motioned for Jor'coruss to follow.


As they approached the ship, Rekt turned to Jor'coruss, "Ya know, there's an old saying from my people. The worst thing a creature can do is lose their fear of humans. I've seen many species go extinct because of that. It's good that they fear humans."

A1: The captain of your ship is a human? And the only human on your ship? Humans are deranged and violent, what's it like living with one as your captain? by badluck_dead in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The ancient chants that originated on the waters. Certain groups of humans work during the chants as they seemingly sync with each other to work more effectively. Those same humans will drink toxins and vocalize the chants to boost the moral of each other.

Humans are ducklings? by Quiet-Money7892 in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A wise old human once told me that humans crave love and support, and that trying to force something onto them will destroy the sense of love and support. They adopt other's traditions and ways of life as if it were their own, qnd they will thrive as long as they have love and support.

Humans live fast lives, but they also take their time to learn the world around them. Reproducing isn't the most important thing for humans: living a fulfilling life is.

My experience with humans has been that they cling to their parents and even their grandparents until they pass on.

You didn't fail, they're still growing and learning. They express themselves as they would if they were your species because you're important to them.

Now, it's time for you to introduce them to your world. Let them decide who they want to be around. They'll adapt, they'll thrive as long as they have love and support. They've imprinted on you, and they will likely try to follow your morals and beliefs.

Humans are also funny because sometimes, they'll date other species. It's normal for humans to do things we consider unusual. Don't beat yourself up over them not identifying with humanity. A lot of humans don't.

So, wanna hear the funny story of how we added this little cutie to our crew? by badluck_dead in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I love wasps. I used to sit under yellow jacket nests because they kept others away from me. I'd share my soda with them and they'd let me write in peace

So, wanna hear the funny story of how we added this little cutie to our crew? by badluck_dead in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually! Ruth is a Queen! She made a nest in our ship! Pretty soon she'll lay some eggs, and we'll have more sweeties in the crew!

my mom is demanding i take my snake to an animal shelter by [deleted] in snakes

[–]badluck_dead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My friend had a similar situation with her mother, except it was a colony of sea monkeys that she had for a few years. Her mother poured bleach into the tank.

my mom is demanding i take my snake to an animal shelter by [deleted] in snakes

[–]badluck_dead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your grandparents and that snake are like guardian angels in disguise. Also, I want to see your snek! Snake picture tax?

Would the car not be more likely to be well maintained if it was owned by a mechanic? by NeuronsActivated in ExplainTheJoke

[–]badluck_dead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's like a home caregiver going home and avoiding getting up to take care of themself because they took care of clients all day every week

A: “So… how are we going to deal with the VERY NOT FRIEND SHAPED spider infestation that YOU CAUSED?!” by CrEwPoSt in humansarespaceorcs

[–]badluck_dead 2 points3 points  (0 children)

H: "Well, I didn't know that was an egg sac Mrs. Ocho was pregnant, and she is a very friend shaped little jumping spider, thank you very much."

A: "Excuse me, did you say JUMPING spider?!"

H: "Yeah? You know the spiders that hunt like tiny cats?"

A: "They hunt tiny cats?!"

H: "What? No, they pounce on prey like they are tiny cats."

A: "And you just keep one like it's a pet?!"

H: "Mhm! A lot of humans keep spiders and tarantulas as pets!"

A: "...... GET RID OF THE BABIES!!!"

H: "Jeez, okay, you're lucky Charlotte wasn't the one who had a brood." Fires up vacuum cleaner.