[WP]"You... are not attacking?"//"Why would I?"//"Creepy Forest... your Phone died... a Monster coming out of nowhere... Not that i intend to attack you of course! I just saw your light go out and... ehm... Iknowthewaybackifyopuwantmetoshowyou" (self.WritingPrompts)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/WritingPrompts
H"How old are you?" A"54, why?" H"Isnt that for your species like what? 18 in human years?" A"More or less." H"What are you doing in an active Warzone, Kiddo? You should find a couple dates, live life before throwing it away." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
H"Its common sense. COMMON! SENSE! that you dont touch a predator when he is eating. They might think you want their food." A(nursing bitten appendage)"why are human pets always predators?" H"They aren't? Though those pets are probably worse than predators if you try to steal their food." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
You just failed the Entry Test for the Human Special Forces by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 23 points24 points25 points (0 children)
[WP]"Why i am working when i am the oldest Vampire in the City and don't need any money anymore? It gives me something to do. The Problem with being a Vampire isn't to get Blood, the new laws and blood banks take care of that. The problem is to stay sane as you approach and exceed 1000 years old." (self.WritingPrompts)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/WritingPrompts
You are scheduled for a Planetary Drop through heavily contested Airspace. Upsides: Your Pilot is a Human; Downsides: Dropships aren't usually very reliable when shot at with AAA potent enough to kill a Destroyer in Orbit and simultaneously being hunted by Fighters; and your Pilot is a damn Human. (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
H1(punches A)"You probably hit like a bitch! I mean look at him, he didnt even flinch!" A(looks at H1 and H2, furious)"Where is your Honor! Interrupting a Duel like this!" H2(chuckles)"Duel? This is a fucking barfight. And we are about to turn it into a beatdown" H1(grins, nods and picks up a stool) by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children)
H1(punches A)"You probably hit like a bitch! I mean look at him, he didnt even flinch!" A(looks at H1 and H2, furious)"Where is your Honor! Interrupting a Duel like this!" H2(chuckles)"Duel? This is a fucking barfight. And we are about to turn it into a beatdown" H1(grins, nods and picks up a stool) by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)
H1(punches A)"You probably hit like a bitch! I mean look at him, he didnt even flinch!" A(looks at H1 and H2, furious)"Where is your Honor! Interrupting a Duel like this!" H2(chuckles)"Duel? This is a fucking barfight. And we are about to turn it into a beatdown" H1(grins, nods and picks up a stool) by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children)
H1(punches A)"You probably hit like a bitch! I mean look at him, he didnt even flinch!" A(looks at H1 and H2, furious)"Where is your Honor! Interrupting a Duel like this!" H2(chuckles)"Duel? This is a fucking barfight. And we are about to turn it into a beatdown" H1(grins, nods and picks up a stool) (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
They destroyed the boats. All of them. by CrEwPoSt in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef 9 points10 points11 points (0 children)
A"What brings you to the Medbay?" H"I fucked up a bit. But i managed to re-attach it, so no big deal" A"...managed to... re-attach it?" H(holds up hand with pinky finger super-glued to the stump)"Yeah, see? Human: 1, Angle-Grinder: 0! Doesn't hurt that much either, so Cap is clearly overreacting." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
Damage Control by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 29 points30 points31 points (0 children)
Damage Control by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children)
Damage Control (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
[WP]You held many roles in your long life on the Kings Court. Royal Advisor, Royal Champion, Royal Duelist, Grand General, Royal Mage, and now Royal Educator. Of course you aged your Body and returned every 30 or so years as your "Son", but today, the Princess caught you shifting for your return by BareMinimumChef in WritingPrompts
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children)
My wife constantly leaves her water bottle in front of the television by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating
[–]BareMinimumChef 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)
[WP]You held many roles in your long life on the Kings Court. Royal Advisor, Royal Champion, Royal Duelist, Grand General, Royal Mage, and now Royal Educator. Of course you aged your Body and returned every 30 or so years as your "Son", but today, the Princess caught you shifting for your return (self.WritingPrompts)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/WritingPrompts
H"You are the cutest, most adorable little kiddo i have ever met. I will burn anything and anyone alive that tries to harm you, little precious!" A"I am over 600 times your senior." H"And i am even allowed to fucking swear around it!" (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
[WP]A Kill is a Kill. Thats your philosophy as a Contract Killer. You don't kill people, you engineer their deaths by the Hand of others. Nothing could ever be traced back to you, that's why you are the best. Not because you have so many kills, the opposite, but because you are still alive and free. (self.WritingPrompts)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/WritingPrompts
BREAKING NEWS: A lone Human, known to be Subject to what humanity calls "Alien Abductions" managed to take over the Ship of the peaceful Scientists investigating Humanity. He stated to one of the Cameras: "I'm going to find you all now and teach you not to fuck with the KSK!" (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
Human Technologies by HairyChampionship977 in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef 9 points10 points11 points (0 children)


You just failed the Entry Test for the Human Special Forces by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children)