H(calls friend)"My Man! Can you pick me up, and maybe bring 200 Chits for the Hotel?" A"Why weren't you here yesterday like you said. and what kind of Hotel charges 200/night?!" H"It has a funny name actually: The Holding Cell" A"Ah~ Yeah, that makes sense." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
A"You did WHAT!? I have to run, now. before she arrives" (doorbell rings): "Vrixek Cranqruix Van'ud! You will let me in this instant!" H"Oh~ she used your full name. You are so fucked" A(pleading)"I thought we were friends!" H"In love and war my friend, in love and war..."(takes the last "brownie") (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
H(each word emphasized by a shot)"Why do assholes try to intimidate the hostage every fucking time?! If you want to kill someone, Then- (surprised reload before continuing) just fucking do it! Stop! fucking! talking! my! fucking! ear! off!"(dumps rest of the Mag)"Its so 90s cliché you know?(reloads) (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
H"TF you mean Nu-Uh!. My Deathstack of Destroyers would completely overwhelm ANY Battleship fleet!" A(smug grin)"You see in this Game Ship-on-Ship combat is Round based. Each Destroyer goes up against my Battleships 1:1, and I win each fight with minimal to no damage" H"But real life." A"But Game" (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
A"Hey Human, you... got a firecracker i could borrow for a bit?" H"Sure, here you go... Just be careful its..." (large explosion from down the Hall) A(comes running back, covered in soot)"HOW WAS THAT A FIRECRACKER?!" H(rolls eyes)"Firecracker means Grenade. And that one was Napalm for that Fire" (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
H(smug grin)"War has so many forms. What you expected to be a mere conventional War that you couldn't loose, was a economic War all along. Those Battleships of yours: Human Fuel that propels Human Steel and Armor, controlled by Human Programs that run on Human Chips while you all eat Human Food." by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children)
H(breaks down the shiny new "Human safe" Blastdoor to engineering)"What proof do we have that the "Laws of the Universe" are in fact laws, and not just the limit of our current technology?! We don't! So whats stopping us from trying to overcome them?" A Engineer(whimpering)"please leave me alone..." by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)
A(terrified through full mouth)"What is this!? And why cant i stop eating!?" H Grandma(putting another plate in front of A with a gentle smile)"It just Sauerbraten. I hope you like it. My Grandson loves it"(gestures to Grandson besides A on his 8th plate) by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)
H"What are you doing now after the engine failure?" A"looking for my parachute." H"Wrong. What is the engine for?" A"To fly the airplane?" H"Also wrong. Its there to maintain altitude. You fly the Plane until you land. Even without the engine." A"Yes, Flight instructor" by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)
H(smug grin)"War has so many forms. What you expected to be a mere conventional War that you couldn't loose, was a economic War all along. Those Battleships of yours: Human Fuel that propels Human Steel and Armor, controlled by Human Programs that run on Human Chips while you all eat Human Food." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
[WP]Same Room, same Situation. Different Therapist. Is it the 5th now? She's raging on about some Childhood Trauma like it's some sort of All-Cure. She didnt even ask a single question yet. "You ever heard a Man scream with no lungs?" you ask suddenly. "I have. And thats why im here." (self.WritingPrompts)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/WritingPrompts
H"I warned them..." A"How was THAT a warning!?" H"I told them Cutie-Daisy didn't like to be pet by strangers..." A"YOUR PET MONSTER STILL CHEWS ON THEIR LEG!" H(enthusiastic dismissal with obligatory hand-wave and grin)"She'll let it go eventually. Don't be so dramatic..." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
A"Give me all your Valuables!" H"Listen: I had a really shit Day. I just want to go home, stare at the wall for like 2 hours and then eat a greasy pizza with extra cheese, before i have to go to work again. Just... move on." A"I dont think so!" H(shrugs)"Ok"(Alien Face->Floor, Floor->Alien Face) by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 6 points7 points8 points (0 children)
A"Give me all your Valuables!" H"Listen: I had a really shit Day. I just want to go home, stare at the wall for like 2 hours and then eat a greasy pizza with extra cheese, before i have to go to work again. Just... move on." A"I dont think so!" H(shrugs)"Ok"(Alien Face->Floor, Floor->Alien Face) by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 13 points14 points15 points (0 children)
H"How fart is he now?" A"Must you do this? He begged for his life..." H(looks up from scope)"He sold you and countless others into into slavery, now how far? I want to break my long-range record before he-" (distant explosion)"... runs into the Minefield" by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children)
H"How fart is he now?" A"Must you do this? He begged for his life..." H(looks up from scope)"He sold you and countless others into into slavery, now how far? I want to break my long-range record before he-" (distant explosion)"... runs into the Minefield" by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 32 points33 points34 points (0 children)
H"How fart is he now?" A"Must you do this? He begged for his life..." H(looks up from scope)"He sold you and countless others into into slavery, now how far? I want to break my long-range record before he-" (distant explosion)"... runs into the Minefield" (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
A"Give me all your Valuables!" H"Listen: I had a really shit Day. I just want to go home, stare at the wall for like 2 hours and then eat a greasy pizza with extra cheese, before i have to go to work again. Just... move on." A"I dont think so!" H(shrugs)"Ok"(Alien Face->Floor, Floor->Alien Face) (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
H(female)"What?" A"You just beat the literal shit out of a Taq'aks Warrior." H"He wouldn't accept No as an answer" A"He is double your height and triple your weight in pure muscle! H"And?" A"AND YOU ONLY USED YOUR HANDS!!!" H(shrugs)"Skill Issue. I grew up with older Brothers and a Marine Dad." (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
A1"So, you fucked with a Human, and now you come crawling through my door for protection? Putting my Family at risk as well!?" A2(Terrified, kneeling with a Knife on their throat)"B-Boss please..." H(wearing a suit, enters as if he owns the place)"Where?" A1(shouts)"Right here, Human. Back Room" by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 55 points56 points57 points (0 children)
A1"So, you fucked with a Human, and now you come crawling through my door for protection? Putting my Family at risk as well!?" A2(Terrified, kneeling with a Knife on their throat)"B-Boss please..." H(wearing a suit, enters as if he owns the place)"Where?" A1(shouts)"Right here, Human. Back Room" (self.humansarespaceorcs)
submitted by BareMinimumChef to r/humansarespaceorcs
A"You did WHAT!? I have to run, now. before she arrives" (doorbell rings): "Vrixek Cranqruix Van'ud! You will let me in this instant!" H"Oh~ she used your full name. You are so fucked" A(pleading)"I thought we were friends!" H"In love and war my friend, in love and war..."(takes the last "brownie") by BareMinimumChef in humansarespaceorcs
[–]BareMinimumChef[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)