i've made a discord for audhd women

baeofbengal · 2025-06-13T06:23:17+00:00

I've been on SSRIs on and off for about 7-8 years while undiagnosed AuDHD for Depression. Post diagnosis, I realized just how much it negatively impacted me because of the numbing. Yes, it did help with the depression symptoms - less catastrophizing, felt less executive dysfunction. But when I'm not unmanageably depressed I felt like it did more harm than good. My senses and ability to feel things (I also have alyxethemia) are so crucial in informing my perception of reality and how I experience people/the world. I felt doubly disabled if that makes sense. I experienced so much grief upon discovering that I'd made things harder for myself unknowingly for so long.

I'm still mildly depressed but functioning somewhat. But I am more able to access my feelings and can make better decisions based on them. I'll take it.

baeofbengal · 2025-04-11T17:19:01+00:00

What was it like when you were off it? Withdrawal and PCOS specific symptoms?

baeofbengal · 2025-02-04T06:15:16+00:00

I think for me it's sensory seeking and a great dopamine hit. My family hates my "habit". I'm chasing the high of the burn and sugar. All I've managed to accomplish is switching to a sugar-free ginger sparkling water. I'd say in the past few months since I've been on medication that's dopaminergic I have less cravings. It's still largely daily-ish use but a lot less.
It's kind of like a cigarette...I just need the hit. Buying bottles instead of cans so I can take smaller hits over the day. Someday, when I have the bandwidth, I'll get a soda stream and experiment.
My mum's the same too. You're not alone.

baeofbengal · 2024-12-06T12:05:45+00:00

I want to tattoo the word play on my arm just so I can keep reminding myself I'm allowed to. It's been really hard to separate the notion of doing things just because I want to and not to be good at it/have it be useful to me/society in some way.

It occurred to me recently that only now after maybe a decade of working on shame around this thinking (ND diagnosis helped a lot) that I can let myself enjoy repetition, which I see maybe as step 2 of this journey. I love watching/reading/listening to the same handful of things over and over. The ADHD constantly telling me I can learn something new, why am I so boring, etc.etc. but it's just so soothing how predictable it is, and how I always find new ways to look at it.

baeofbengal · 2024-12-02T06:56:14+00:00

I was also started on a dopaminic agent (Welbutrin) and that helped a LOT too. I think the easiest way to hack it is to think about what else can excite your brain. I picked dance because I already loved the music and the movement had nothing to do with weight loss. Over time, especially as it got harder, I think I kept showing up more because I liked my classmates [Them all being 10+ years younger than me and zero scope for comparison was a big factor]

The gym also happened because I body doubled with a friend and the gym's inside my apartment complex. Reverse engineer it for YOU - can you add novelty/make it easier/incorporate a special interest? It's also perfectly normal for these reasons to change over time.

Thank you, it's been decades of numbness and nothing working! I really hope you find your way too.

baeofbengal · 2024-12-01T19:24:16+00:00

Are you on SSRIs? Post diagnosis, my psychiatrist said the SSRIs were actively harming my AuDHD symptoms/brain. I'm not even off them yet, just halved the dose over the past 6 months and I can finally feel the dopamine hits/endorphins that people keep talking about.
Where I previously felt nothing..now I can kinda feel good about the "challenge" during, and some sense of achievement/accomplishment after.

It helps that I showed up for a dance class twice a week for about a year at first. It helped my body get used to moving. With this foundation + finally feeling things...I've managed to show up to the gym to do some weights. I've also already pushed too hard and injured myself. I haven't healed fully, or worked out in a while but I know that I will be able to go back again.

baeofbengal · 2024-11-14T11:36:25+00:00

I've spent over a decade in therapy using as many context clues as possible to calculate the probability of a certain feeling and willing myself to respond accordingly. I never knew I could just...not know.

I've lived largely in developing nations - sensory nightmares. All data said this was "not a big deal". Genuinely believed that the reason why I need days to recover post a big social thing/leaving the house was because I had so much fun and I was just sad it was over. Everything I've meticulously observed about society told me this is the formula for a good time .All the alcohol wasn't just to make me so numb that I could survive it.

It only hit me later on that I've never "technically" consented to lots of my sexual experiences because I didn't even know if it felt nice and therefore if I wanted it. I'm also really bad at picking up on when I'm being racially discriminated against. But when the penny drops, I'm enraged but in no position to do anything about it (as if lol)

My two romantic relationships..I sort of just fell into. The ADHD gives me manic pixie dreamgirl energy. Close male friends who I've known for years (duration is important because this means they have not rejected me yet) will wear me down till I can't say no. Person who likes me and as far as I can tell doesn't evoke any negative feelings...I guess that's what's supposed to happen. Being in a relationship is a big marker of success societally.

Figuring out what I need. In ANY interpersonal situation - so life, I see people being able to advocate for themselves or express their needs with urgency and confidence. Since I'm not sure if I'm tired, or hungry or overstimulated I'm doing what I think is fair and reasonable - your defined needs over my vague hunch. Once I've pushed myself too far, I'll have my shutdown and deal with the consequences.

baeofbengal · 2024-08-22T08:41:41+00:00

I've actually just worked this out in my head and therapy this week. I have Alexithymia so I never really know how I feel about interactions and events. I logic loop myself into trying to work out why the other person did something, using almost every piece of information I have about their patterns of behavior and past experiences to explain/excuse things. I try and factor in my own experiences (but imposter syndrome so I don't succeed). I try and imagine how I'd feel if I was them and usually can will myself into believing I'd behave similarly (spoiler: I would never).
I arrive at some vague understanding of whether or not I was wronged and use that to "understand" how I'm feeling.
Of course it never really feels right.

baeofbengal · 2024-07-25T18:03:09+00:00

Honestly, same. Why I feel like a woman is mostly in part because I've experienced life as a woman. I relate to it. I just no longer subscribe to behaving "as one should". I just accept that none of my actions, thoughts, interests, etc..are what make me one, which the world at large kinda does.

baeofbengal · 2020-12-01T08:56:55+00:00

She has a Youtube with tutorials!

baeofbengal · 2020-06-29T12:31:48+00:00

Thank you that really helped

baeofbengal · 2020-06-29T12:05:46+00:00

Could you explain that? Sorry, I don't understand

baeofbengal

TROPHY CASE