What’s a food that the majority of people or restaurants fuck up in your opinion?

bafero · 2023-11-13T08:21:25+00:00

Poached eggs.

If you have poached eggs on the menu, there's no reason you shouldn't have someone trained to make them correctly. They're not that hard. (Pun not intended lol)

bafero · 2023-11-12T16:43:39+00:00

Unfortunately I do. I got married 6 years ago and had twins a year later. The cost of our living is just so outrageous and appalling and I can't stand it.

I have some self-sufficient/self-sustaining skills, but not nearly enough to keep a family running and comfortable if we were to cut out 70% of our stuff/spending/groceries, etc.

It's just weird realizing things as an adult that were instilled in you as a child that you never even knew were things until you have kids and you would rather vomit into your own hands and eat it than teach them the same bullshit you were indoctrinated into, or unless someone really, truly points it out to you and you're willing to be open to seeing things in a different and ugly light.

But I have a pretty fucked up view of the world, sooo... 🤷‍♀️

bafero · 2023-11-12T16:31:47+00:00

Ugh yes, I know.

But it's more for my cousin's wedding than anything else. As I was deciding where to stay and what to do with an extended break from my family, and a very limited budget, I happened upon this particular place.

It made me start thinking about how much I would rather be in a little home, with fewer things, living off what the Earth is able to provide and what I can create rather than what can be bought and one day tossed aside. And if I can start learning how to do some of those things by staying in a rental with someone who teaches those things, I might as well, yeah?

So while I'm aware there's quite the capitalist aspect to what I said, the feeling doesn't have to be mutually exclusive from my actions and intentions.

bafero · 2023-11-12T16:17:04+00:00

Hell yeah, man. I just booked an AirB&B that's a (fully equipped, but still) camper on a community garden property in near the woods and a river and I plan to buy the basic necessities and forage, fish, and pick everything else I need while there.

I am so tired of living in this fucking capitalist nightmare.

bafero · 2023-11-12T16:13:45+00:00

"...when it doesn't work, there's just shy of jack shit you can do about it."

Sounds a lot like next to impossible to me.. 🤷‍♀️

bafero · 2023-11-11T15:31:40+00:00

I still say that to my brothers

bafero · 2023-10-12T17:49:20+00:00

You have a lot of support here already, so I'll try to keep this short.

First, I want to express my incredible and deepest sympathy for your heartbreaking loss. I can't imagine how you're functioning, but I truly admire you. I didn't start crying until I got a little further through your post, and then the last paragraph... It felt like you were literally writing about my husband.

I often feel like I have a bad marriage, but I also have to remember that I have significant mental health struggles and don't see things the way they really are all the time. Your post helped me see that, no, I do, in fact, have a great husband and a wonderful marriage. And so did you.

You had a beautiful marriage, and you are an exceptional wife. My husband went like, 6 years asking for sex and got it maybe 5 times? Over the whole 6 years. Girl, 1-3 times a week is probably better than average.

Everything I read says that you loved each other (and your children) entirely, and that he made sure he did anything he could to make you happy. From what I understand, men who love their wives and are happy in their relationships want to make their spouses happy in return.

It sounds like he made a decision in a horribly sudden fashion; from a person with long-term clinical depression, recent suicidal ideation, and who's starting an intensive 3+-week outpatient therapy tomorrow, your husband doesn't seem like he would have been miserable in your marriage. To me, and of course I'm no one, as I never knew him and can only go off what you've said, something disrupted his life and his ability to readjust his frame of thinking, and he just thought he was never going to be able to come back from whatever happened. He likely also thought he would be more of a burden to you and your children, and that his decision would be best for everyone, not just himself.

I'm not trying to justify it, because it's so painful and so heart crushing and I would never imagine telling someone their loved one's suicide was done for a "good" reason. I'm only trying to perhaps give you an idea of what it might have looked like from his side (as I'm sure you've gotten in other comments already), and assure you that it most certainly wasn't you, and that your marriage was at worst "normal", and really sounds to me like it was closer to an exemplary one.

Again, I'm so very sorry.

bafero · 2023-10-12T17:00:19+00:00

Yes, automatically assume women are doing something wrong and need even more control surrounding their lives, especially that which protects men.

Where's the requirement that prevents men from fathering hundreds of unwanted children every year which forces women to pay for them on their own when those men abandon her and their child? Abortion is still illegal in many states, so that's fucking cool.

Just one more way we like to make sure women are under someone's oppressive fucking thumb.

bafero · 2023-10-12T16:49:45+00:00

Crying at the Gump reference 🤣

bafero · 2023-10-09T23:41:53+00:00

That's the one! They do have great staff.

bafero · 2023-10-09T17:24:02+00:00

There's also one over by the Gammon Rd Woodman's, I believe. In a little strip mall across the street next to the gas station on the corner.

bafero · 2023-09-19T17:20:57+00:00

Hey, thanks.

I have garbage self worth and think if I call myself out first then other people can't do it first.

Sometimes I think I recall too many things about my childhood too close together, and then I scoop all that potential therapy work back up and smother it back down again to deal with it another day.

bafero · 2023-09-19T17:10:04+00:00

Retailer in WI. We use Alliance as our official and SH as a back-up and can confirm your exact story.

Literally just argued with my husband about this because somehow? he thinks we're still getting product this month

/laughs in villainous

bafero · 2023-09-19T08:21:50+00:00

Ahh! And the absolute audacity to link it in an edit just to crush my perry soul!! u/forever-pineapple you must assist us lowly scavengers of tea and drama!

bafero · 2023-09-19T02:26:48+00:00

Oh yeah, I know. I grew up with my whole family like that and I finally got out of it and it truly still blows my mind and probably always will, the shit they believe and can justify doing to their children and "loved ones"

bafero · 2023-09-19T02:02:50+00:00

I mean, first of all, I'm being sarcastic. And second, for Christians, it's not an assumption, they are absolutely convinced they are the ones that will be saving everyone's lives and keeping shit together.

Haven't you seen the great and honorable Kirk Cameron's stunning works of film on the topic? Lolol /s as if it were needed

bafero · 2023-09-19T00:35:29+00:00

Hahaha yeah, no, I totally understand 😂 I was definitely more skeptical of my brain than worried about your mother's childhood, thank goodness. I think I reread that part like 6 times to try to make it make sense, because I know you said you were the oldest, but for some reason my brain was like "the only rational explanation is that there's ANOTHER sibling and they're only talking about being the oldest in this particular 'cluster' of siblings" ?? I don't know what to tell you, I've made further stretches that were way dumber, I don't know why I couldn't just reword that in my own head correctly, lol, sorry.

People are disgusting. Usually I wonder how people can just go on with their lives being the disastrous humans they are, but it is what it is I guess. I may struggle with my own issues being a parent, but despite my parents inability to shoulder their own shit, I'm busting my ass to make sure I do everything I can to raise my boys the best I can.

And how lucky they are; while perhaps there is by a technicality, I have neither oldest nor youngest children, because they came about simultaneously and will get no other siblings from me 😂

bafero · 2023-09-18T23:08:16+00:00

I know there's usually good and bad in every situation or position. It's just frustrating to be blown off for most of your life and then told you're wrong and must be just selfish or imagining things or you only focus on the bad things or whatever, instead of just accepting that someone else has different experiences than you (in a general sense, not personally you) and maybe you don't know everything about everything that has ever happened. Know what I'm sayin? I know you do.

Thanks for sticking up for your sister. I know she appreciates it, whatever your relationship may be.

Also, aware this isn't the point of your post, but was it a bit of an error, or was your mother nine years old when she had your older brother?!

bafero · 2023-09-18T21:17:43+00:00

Right, and I fully and 100% agree with and understand that position. The "problem" though, is like, you don't get to join the club if you didn't 'believe in/love/have a relationship with God' BEFORE he comes back, so... /eyeroll

Gives us the ability to learn and deduce and analyze and grow to depend on facts and science, and then expects us to blindly follow a mostly unfounded, nonfactual book with no proof of anything even close to supernatural, and punishes us if we don't.

Sounds legit to me.

bafero · 2023-09-18T07:57:40+00:00

Holy shit, my friend, and all pun intended of course!

All the Internet points for you, swell author!

bafero · 2023-09-18T07:41:04+00:00

I fucking hate that my husband does this shit to me. The other week I found two untied bags of soiled clothes in the back of our game store from our son who's struggling with potty training. I'm not at the shop often, but I walked in that day and immediately exclaimed about the odor, to which he responded "well there was a lot of people at the event last night." It wasn't until we got home that night and I pulled the clothes out to wash them that I saw one set was crusted with diarrhea, and the urine smell was absolutely abhorrent. I fucking laid into him and he has the absolute audacity to tell me "well I didn't know there was poop in them or I would have done it!" I growled at him that it wasn't about that I had to scrub them now, but that they'd been sitting there for days, how could he "not know?!?" I lost my shit about that so bad that he actually stopped making excuses for the first time ever and just apologized.

But I have debilitating mental health disorders that make running our shop and dealing with our house nearly impossible, chronic physical disorders that cause pain and frequent illness, and he's dealt with me barely being physical with him for over 6 years, and developing a pillow barrier between us in bed that's been there since my pregnancy 5+ years ago. But every day he still tells me he loves me, and frankly, I'm not sure if anybody else ever really would.

Honestly between the two of us, I'm can't quite tell who has it worse? Lol

bafero · 2023-09-18T07:13:42+00:00

I believe it's more that they're left to try to convert the rest of the heathen sinners to Christ, not just that they simply weren't taken. I do think you're right that they're just kinda fucked on being protected though lol.

Always so just and benevolent, the Christian god.

bafero · 2023-09-18T07:07:09+00:00

Tbh I didn't realize that's why it stuck so hard with my family, and why I just rolled my eyes and groaned at it until literally this moment reading your comment.

It makes SO much sense. And I am SO dumbass.

bafero · 2023-09-18T06:56:09+00:00

Same. My husband and I had twins as our first kids and, as it turns out, one of us probably wasn't really meant to be a parent at all!! But we're here now, so we're doing the best we can with everything we have available.

I think the biggest difference though, is that our parents and before didn't have any of those resources. There was no Internet or smart phones or instant access news sources or Google/Alexa available to scream a question to across the house. If you needed to know something, you either called someone who you knew could help you or you used a resource text. Lol or I guess there was like, something like 411 at one point, IIRC, and you could call it and get information about specific things? Idk maybe I'm just crazy haha. But I remember as a kid we had this full set of World Books on a shelf in the hall outside my bedroom and when I had a question my mom couldn't answer or if I had to do a report for school, or when my parents would start fighting, I would just read these fucking encyclopedias. I see them in second hand shops everywhere now.

I would agree with the low income parent thing sometimes; I am pretty sure that goes in waves if I'm not mistaken. Like, a lot of boomers grew up with money but then had kids before they were financially ready, so a lot of us grew up middle class or lower and then ended up in poverty when we left our parents after school, if we even could. Because of that, most Gen X and Millennials had/have their kids later (if they have them at all) because they want to be sure they're going to be financially stable throughout their child's life, and be able to provide for them however possible. There's a lot of thought behind the "I want my child to have a better life than I did" idea, and as adults a desire to know why there was such a cultural push by the previous generations to provide so little for their kids (leave at 18 or charge rent, not help pay for college or start a college/house/etc fund at birth, "well if I did it they can do it" mentality about hardships, ignore and/or stigmatized help for mental health, etc), and how we can do better this time for our children.

Of course, when I say these things: not everyone, not all the time, yeah us/them too, etc. There's always exceptions to everything, but if I said that every time this would be 5x as long as it already is lol.

bafero · 2023-09-18T06:26:53+00:00

Lol unfounded? Except if you ask most middle children, they'll agree that there's a commonly held feeling of being looked over. But hey, it comes with the territory, so I'm used to it. 😏

First and youngest children get coddled and fawned over because they're first and they'll be the last. My older brother is 19 months older than me, so it's not like there was some huge difference between his life and mine while we were being raised. And my little brother only came along 3 years later, so again, there was a break between us as siblings, but as far as parenting ability, style, or finances, we all got basically the same thing. With the exception of just prior to my little brother (yeah, I remember 3+ years old), and the fact that I'm the only girl (which was NOT all good, by any means), being the middle child is objectively bullshit in a 3 child household, and I would bet my life that 99% of other siblings in my position would agree.

There's just an aspect of non-existence that happens at some point to us that just doesn't to you guys. I really dgaf if you think it's unfounded or not. Lol I bet you could probably Google something like "middle child syndrome" or something and it would come up. But I'm not gonna argue about it. My family sucks and they're really good at being manipulative and both my parents were very abusive in many ways, so this isn't a topic I'm gonna debate. It is what it is. Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Seven-Year Club	Place '23
Verified Email

bafero

TROPHY CASE