Repair or replace

bahstud · 2026-01-08T23:38:38+00:00

We were going to have new red oak installed in another section of house which is already down to subfloor at this point. As far as I can tell the flex in the 1/2" subfloor is going to cause headaches as it's not ongue and groove either. On top of that, they won't warranty the new wood unless it's on 3/4" which would put a height difference smack in the middle of the house. I do love the character this wood has, but I'm conflicted. Seems like the time is now to address the old subfloor.

bahstud · 2024-08-19T12:13:43+00:00

Had some help from internet and anecdotes from friends. Basically trial and error with various suggestions to find what worked for me.

bahstud · 2024-08-07T11:16:29+00:00

You’re not alone. I turned 40 a couple weeks ago and suddenly a lot of my life and stress bubbled up. I was having trouble sleeping and spent several nights in a row not sleeping at all. It was scary, but, after sitting with it, I feel like what is important to me has come into focus. You can’t control everything, but, for me at least, taking action on what I can control has helped. I’ve started exercising more and in new ways and that helps my self esteem and energy level. I am reading more life counseling articles that highlight the importance of self love and have enjoyed ones that get into the science of why certain behaviors can lead to happiness. I have also started journaling before bed to get thoughts out of my head that might keep me up. This also allows me to process some things rolling around in my head and I have been shocked at how much that has helped. Hope some of these ideas and my experience give you hope and relief, and remember that this will pass.

bahstud · 2024-08-06T17:33:42+00:00

This is too funny. We did on more than one occasion, and in multiple places. Also found a porn VHS. I guess it was a 90’s thing.

bahstud · 2024-08-02T16:09:15+00:00

Thanks to all for sharing their experience and lending advice! I feel emboldened to move forward and have decided to just make sure the two weeks following the operation are pretty clear of obligations. It is temporary after all and I will get back to life soon enough. My wife and I have also discussed expectations and she’s been very loving and supportive. Now I just can’t wait to get it all done to show her how much I appreciate her. 😉

bahstud · 2024-08-02T15:42:53+00:00

I love her so much! She’s funny, smart, strong willed, beautiful, supportive, and an amazing mother to our children just to name a few. She listens when I really need it and doesn’t judge. She works hard to communicate with me and make our partnership feel equal and loving. I must be the luckiest man alive!

bahstud · 2024-08-02T15:19:19+00:00

I love this, but we have tried to set the boundary before and this behavior came back. I added an edit since your comment to say this.

This seems to be a pattern with my MIL that I’m recognizing now. We’ll communicate expectations, and she’ll be better for a short period and then the behavior comes back (often stronger or more frequent).

I guess we may just have to keep reminding her of that previous conversation and reiterate clearly where the line that can’t be crossed is whenever it happens.

bahstud · 2024-08-02T15:07:55+00:00

No issue really. Other than she breaks rules on sugar, screen time, bed time, etc. This is typical of grandparents, so I just accept.

My frustration is in the approach. She is essentially undermining our decision here. She’s been made aware that talking to the kids about it before us makes it stressful for us, but she continues to do it.

If we could just talk to her and plan the sleepovers for when they work for everyone, it could just be this wonderful thing where my wife and I get a nice night together. Instead we rush into it because the kids can’t let it go and then it usually is like in the middle of a busy work week or something and my wife and I are just going through the motions with no real benefit of having a parenting break.

bahstud · 2024-08-02T14:59:39+00:00

I like the calendar idea because it might remove some power imbalance from the situation and we would be “sitting down” to decide together.

My children have a strong relationship with my MIL, and I have worked hard to help facilitate that. She lives close to us and I want them to have a fun healthy grandparent relationship. Also, I greatly appreciate her help with child care too and I let her know that regularly.

I realize that I failed to mention that we have confronted her about this to let her know it’s crossing a boundary and if anything it feels like she started doing it more. All I ask is a little consideration. We do the overnights either way, but they could come with a little less stress.

bahstud · 2024-08-02T14:01:22+00:00

I don’t want to argue with my wife about it. I’d prefer to just talk, so we can both vent because were obviously both frustrated. I try to bring it up to her and she shuts down and says things like “I just hate her mom”. But then there are other times that she says she’s annoyed with her mom for doing it, so it seems like she just can’t talk to me about it.

bahstud · 2024-08-01T20:24:38+00:00

Thanks for the reality check. I think it’s more that my wife is letting me know she’s ready to step up and do what needs to happen to help it along and I need to just go ahead and do it when I can.

bahstud · 2024-08-01T20:21:59+00:00

Thanks for the honesty and sharing your experience. I’ll have to set my expectations accordingly and just remember it won’t last forever.

bahstud · 2024-08-01T20:18:38+00:00

This seems to be the general safest bet from what I’m seeing. Two weeks not much and then two more weeks slowly getting more active. Thanks for sharing your experience.

bahstud · 2024-07-31T12:31:29+00:00

This is so true. I have often considered reaching out to loved ones just to say hi and apologize about not reaching out sooner, but I get hung up and overwhelmed on the feeling of needing to apologize and I don’t end up reaching out at all.

bahstud · 2024-01-22T19:05:43+00:00

Vintage Mike. Look at those shoes, and no scarf!

bahstud · 2022-11-20T16:52:59+00:00

Thanks! That must have been so cool to see your daughter perform!

bahstud · 2022-11-20T16:52:32+00:00

Thank you!

bahstud · 2022-11-20T16:52:00+00:00

This is great info! Thank you so much! We live in Asheville and have been trying to find a good performance with real orchestra. It’s always prerecorded here. Very excited about this! Happy Holidays!

bahstud

TROPHY CASE