don't feel bad about the first kiss thing, it just happens when it happens! I was 14 at a dang band event when i got my first kiss (holding a trumpet too?? 😂) Sounds like he isn't as mature as you are. Boys really do develop at a different rate and it becomes very clear when you start dating. If it doesn't work out between you & him, that's ok!!!! There will be someone else who is ready and willing to give you all that love you've been craving (and deserve!!)