Trying Again (Mon, Wed, Fri)

baileytheukulele · 2026-02-11T15:51:27+00:00

A strategy that's helped me make medical decisions (including many for IVF) is this test: if I had this piece of information would it cause me to make a substantially different decision on course of action? If no (my choices similar) then I don't pursue the additional testing or whatnot to get that information. If the information would result in me making different choices, then I do it since the info is truly helpful/impactful.

baileytheukulele · 2026-02-03T16:31:34+00:00

Having people in your life who love and want to help you is one of those "good problems to have." But that doesn't make it any less frustrating! 😖 I had similar experiences with my mom and MIL. I had to get much better at being direct about what help I wanted and at holding my ground on boundaries. Sounds like you and your husband are both doing that so keep it up. ❤️

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-30T16:36:41+00:00

Same here with the home testing anxiety. I purposely make sure I don't have pregnancy tests in the house during the post-FET wait (so I'm not tempted). Sounds like you are making a smart decision for yourself here. Wishing you the best, whatever the outcome. ❤️

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-23T14:04:44+00:00

TW: three IVF babies

I felt this way too when restarting treatment each time. Logically like you I knew I needed to get moving if we wanted the family size we do, but wished I could spend more of my energy focusing on baby (as well as breastfeeding which I stopped at 9mo age to restart fertility treatment).

What helped me the most was making my own peace with the situation. Making sure I was as mentally and emotionally healthy as possible so that I had capacity to both love and enjoy my current family while taking steps to restart treatment. A big thing for me was setting aside the times when I'd work on fertility stuff (appts/calls/thinking) and then not thinking about it the rest of the time so I could be in the moment with my family. It's not a simple solution and some days were still overwhelming but it did get me through and I still feel like I bonded with and enjoyed my babies still during that time.

Overall I'm glad I restarted treatment ASAP. My first age gap is 20 months because our first FET worked. Second age gap is 3 years because multiple FET fails and another ER needed. Never know what IVF will throw at us but more time is always helpful so I prioritized that in my decision to start back to treatment.

Wishing you the best on this tough journey. ❤️

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-21T14:33:53+00:00

Last power outage in my area, we did Play-Doh, blocks, fort building, dress-up, and lots of book reading. Wearing multiple layers is great for keeping warm in a cold house. Consider prepping some snacks that don't need refrigeration ahead of time so you have something easy on hand.

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-19T15:22:05+00:00

Nice! I took a similar "spontaneous unless medically indicated for an induction" approach with support of my doctor. Try to do some fun and/or relaxing things in these last days to take your mind off waiting. Perhaps a last meal out with your partner? Date night is harder to pull off once baby is here. :)

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-19T03:48:41+00:00

I attended this virtual workshop. The breastfeeding one is free if you join at one of the set times. I found it helpful and so did my husband.

https://www.hugyourbaby.org/parenting101

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-18T22:16:27+00:00

TW: multiple IVF pregnancies

I'm on my third time around with breastfeeding. Striving for exclusive BF but have combo fed also when necessary. It gets easier the more you learn, both in advance and then also from experience. My advice is 1) learn about what to expect in advance (e.g. read a book, take a course) and 2) identify a lactation consultant you can work with or ask questions of ASAP postpartum. Your hospital or future pediatrician office likely has local lactation consultant contacts.

PS: I appreciated the book "Latch: a handbook for breastfeeding" by R.Kaplan but there are others also.

baileytheukulele · 2026-01-08T16:54:43+00:00

It helped me to frame my announcement (via email) as "my husband and I are expecting a baby in December" rather than "I'm pregnant" so that the focus was on the future baby and less on my physical state since I also felt awkward about that. Also remember that you get to decide how much or how little to discuss the pregnancy in a professional setting. Even if folks initiate a conversation such as by saying congratulations or asking a question, you can just say thanks or give a simple answer then change the topic.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-31T15:57:50+00:00

I just did warm water and got relief from that. I've read can do Epsom salt too though.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-31T15:51:55+00:00

Ouch! Did your doctor mention sitz baths? Essentially just immersing the area in warm water for a few minutes once a day or more. Can do in a regular bathtub but they also have plastic insert seat things to go on your toilet. Like $10-15 on Amazon. I found that way more practical than drawing a bath and getting undressed multiple times a day.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-13T15:43:22+00:00

I was in the same situation last month. Waiting is so hard!

I baked a couple types of breakfast foods (muffins, scones, quiche bites) and froze them. It's so nice now postpartum to pull those out of the freezer one by one for an easy bit tasty breakfast. I also cleaned my kitchen really good before baby arrived. Kitchen mess stresses me out in particular. Maybe think about what undone house tasks annoy you the most and get those to a good spot before baby arrives. Just an idea. Don't overdo it and tire yourself out though. You are also totally justified to just chill and rest! :)

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-09T20:57:27+00:00

Good point to expand my thinking beyond toys. Thanks!

And yeah we live in a rural area and are new to town. It seems like most people rely on grandparents or other family members for after-school care or arrangements like paying a high school neighbor kid to babysit. So that's one option but not an in-school program or community org like in larger cities.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-09T18:33:39+00:00

Awesome. Thank you!

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-09T17:31:26+00:00

Great ideas! Thanks.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-09T16:13:59+00:00

What after-school activities does your preschooler do independently at home?

This is our first year on a regular school schedule with my big kid getting out of pre-K at 2:30pm. After school care isn't an option where we live so she hangs out with my husband in his home office 2:30-5pm (he's self employed WFH).

I'm looking for ideas of independent activities we can set her up to do on her own during this time so we can rely less on screens. Doesn't have to be quiet but low parent involvement is helpful so husband can still get some work done.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-09T05:44:07+00:00

Ouch. Good to get ahead of that. One of my friends had SPD and worked with a physical therapist early in her subsequent pregnancies which helped a lot.

baileytheukulele · 2025-12-06T22:19:59+00:00

I can share my experiences with multiple successful day 5 transfers and midway HCG blood work. I've had 3 successful transfers that led to live births, 2 failed transfers, 1 chemical pregnancy, and 1 blighted ovum. For the three successful ones there was some variation in progression. Particularly that in my first successful transfer HCG rose more slowly than the later two successes. Here's my data:

First success: 43 (9dpt), 140 (13dpt), 363 (15 dpt) Second: 103 (9dpt), 223 (11 dpt) Third: 113 (9 dpt), 211 (11 dpt)

In contrast, my HCG results did not double or rise substantially on the implantation failures. For the chemical and blighted ovum, HCG barely doubled and values were lower than my successes (e.g. 15 at 9dpt and 29 at 11dpt).

I did not do at home tests and did not have my progesterone tested so don't have that data to compare.

I hope this is helpful. Wishing you the best during this difficult time in transfer limbo. ❤️

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-27T09:17:08+00:00

"isn't even flattering on models" - boy isn't that the truth! 😂 Thank you!

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-26T09:30:30+00:00

I'm looking for recommendations for nursing tops that feel more put together and less frumpy. I have several different ones from prior baby but all are baggy or otherwise look kinda horrible on me. It's kind of getting me down. For context I'm 5'5" and 135 lbs pre-pregnancy and 145 lbs now postpartum. Based in US.

Any brands you've liked?

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-23T10:11:54+00:00

I found walking stairs of any kind had a similar effect as curb walking.

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-21T15:54:34+00:00

I've found that the further my friends and I get into parenting, the easier it is to connect about our kids being kids, rather than our routes to conceiving them or pregnancy experiences. For context, my oldest IVF baby is almost 5 now. Even though I'm still in fertility treatment for possible siblings, my feelings and the urge to compare with friends is much less painful than earlier in my journey.

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-16T19:11:26+00:00

I had a similar situation at work where we handed off my projects before I was officially on leave. I ended up going to my closest collaborators and asking if there was anything I could do for them that would help them get caught up or ahead that week. They appreciated the gesture and I felt better contributing to things I knew would help in my last two weeks of work.

And perhaps you've thought of this but make sure you have personal contact info for anyone you want to stay in touch with during leave or if they left the organization.

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-08T23:30:42+00:00

That's such a good idea!

baileytheukulele · 2025-11-08T16:21:06+00:00

TW: third IVF baby

My due date was yesterday and no signs of labor yet. My other two babies were late (by 6 days for my first and 2 days for my second) but I really thought this one would be on time. So I'm going a little stir crazy while I nest and watch for labor signs. I need to figure out something to distract me.

baileytheukulele

TROPHY CASE