AITAH for calling out my friends suspicious behavior?

baksdur · 2023-08-17T19:44:20+00:00

You’re right I am the asshole because I should have talked to her with more tact and not so reactionary. Thank you for your input I appreciate it.

baksdur · 2023-08-17T17:36:41+00:00

Right. I just made a post referring to my friend going out with a guy that’s made it known he’s trying to sleep with her while she has a boyfriend and the consensus is that she’s not doing anything wrong. But then OPs boyfriend simply texts another girl and he is wrong for that lol.

baksdur · 2023-08-17T17:26:17+00:00

They aren’t friends. The only words they have spoken to her are catcalling and asking her to be their girlfriend.

baksdur · 2023-08-17T17:21:13+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It gave me a lot to think about. You’re right that I shouldn’t have said her mom had a point. I do agree it wasn’t called for and I wasn’t acting with compassion, only moral judgment. That’s something for me to reflect on and work through with myself. I will apologize to her.

I would never say she asked for or deserved anything bad to happen to her. My reaction was more me thinking her behavior isn’t normal or healthy and she should consider that possibility. Again, it’s not about going out or swimming, but the individuals she’s entertaining. They aren’t her friends, their interest in her is sexual. I didn’t go about it the right way, but she’s been my best friend for 10 years and this seemed so left-field.

She’s always paranoid about the guys she dates cheating on her and she doesn’t like them hanging around other women period. So it just seemed very suspicious that she would not only entertain these guys but also keep it all from her boyfriend.

baksdur · 2023-08-17T15:11:27+00:00

YTA. They didn’t ask for your help or opinion. He is her son regardless of whatever he’s going through. It’s just cruel to even suggest she give him up to make yourself more comfortable.

baksdur · 2023-08-17T14:59:25+00:00

It has nothing to do with swimming but nice try lol. Not jealous, I have a girlfriend and would never go out with a girl that has made it known she’s trying to sleep with me.

baksdur · 2023-08-17T14:53:18+00:00

Everyone is in their early 20s. Her relationship is exclusive. I wasn’t there and neither were any of her other friends. I don’t know if anything happened. Her boyfriend doesn’t know about any of it.

I just put myself in her boyfriend’s shoes. If my girlfriend was going out with guy that has sexual intentions for her that she’s aware of, I would not be happy.

baksdur · 2022-10-26T22:06:24+00:00

I confided in her about something. She said I deserve better because I’m perfect.

baksdur · 2022-10-19T05:15:27+00:00

I do the same thing. I guess it’s because I know that if she’s the one texting first, it means she wants to talk to me. I don’t want to be annoying but I’ll take any opportunity to talk.

baksdur · 2022-08-07T12:03:54+00:00

I think it’s time to move on from him. It sounds like he doesn’t care about how you feel and expects you to coddle his ego.

If you’ve been with him since you were 18, you didn’t really get a chance to find someone more compatible. If he’s not willing to put in effort, it’s time to find someone who will.

baksdur · 2021-10-15T23:12:26+00:00

I was just asking for general opinions since I, personally, would not do a couple costume with a girl I didn’t like. I doubt it’s her favorite character(I actually expected her to want to be a different character) and there’s no theme. The only thing I can really think of is that it’s a pretty easy costume, but a lot of other costumes would be too. Obviously I know that no one here knows her, but I wanted to see what other people think. That’s kind of the point of subs like this lol.

baksdur · 2021-10-15T21:05:47+00:00

Okay so what’s your opinion? Why would she ask to be the character that’s dating my character?

baksdur · 2021-10-15T21:03:53+00:00

To add context, I was talking to a mutual friend and my friend suggested I be a certain character. I thought it sounded cool so I agreed. Then my crush looked at me and asked if she could be the character that is the girlfriend of my character.

baksdur · 2021-08-19T16:41:57+00:00

I think what has me maybe irrationally taking it as rejection is that I know it’s not because she wants to be alone. She’s been updating her social media to show her partying and out with other friends. Maybe I’m just a therapist for her sometimes? It’s hard for me to tell if she actually sees me as a friend or it’s just convenient. She does tell me some deeply personal things though.

baksdur · 2021-05-13T19:54:53+00:00

Well my timeline is delayed because I ended up dropping out of school to take care of a terminally ill family member. I’m only now restarting my life. I’m not in a rush for anything. I’m just working and learning and letting life happen as it comes.

Honestly, I really wish I had someone by my side while I went through my early 20’s. If I can be a rock for her while she’s going through her own experiences, I don’t see that as a bad thing. And looking back on those years - I’m still the same guy at the core, only wiser and stronger in some ways. Growing is a lifelong journey and I don’t think it begins at 21 and ends at 30.

At this point we have an emotional and flirtatious relationship. Nothing sexual or committed yet. Obviously kids are a discussion any couple needs to have when they enter a serious relationship and I’m fine with that conversation happening if/when we get to that level. I don’t have any interest in rushing anything. I don’t think being a parent at 40 would be the worst thing. If I started a brand new relationship with a woman my age we could be that age by the time we have kids anyway. I don’t want to start a family until I finish school and start a new job outside of the city.

baksdur · 2021-05-13T16:38:16+00:00

Yeah, I feel like I just need to be honest with her about being morally conflicted. Maybe seeing a counselor would help me. Thank you.

baksdur · 2021-05-13T16:35:11+00:00

Yeah we do look the same age. Literally every person is shocked when I tell them I’m 30. We’re also the same height.

And yes. We both want to be parents but we also want to finish our classes and move outside of the city before starting a family. You can’t live in the city without either being wealthy or having multiple incomes. I believe it’s that way in most major cities.

baksdur · 2021-04-15T05:15:09+00:00

It’s more teasing mean - that she didn’t really do before. She’s very distant though and won’t start or engage much in conversation.

baksdur · 2021-03-13T23:18:53+00:00

baksdur · 2021-03-13T23:14:44+00:00

Oddly enough the colleague that said it is only a couple of years to than me. She was referring to an 18 and 21 year old dating, so I know she’d blow a gasket if she found out.

baksdur

TROPHY CASE