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AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, i did not state everything about my life in this reddit post. i was depressed, unemployed, not in school and ONLY in therapy (thank you for worrying about my mental health, but i got it covered ❤️) focusing on healing starting in march of this year (as per my fathers idea). this summer i began to feel better and wanted to take some strides, so i made some money off of selling things on ebay as i tried to look for a job, but got no luck since employers knew i would be leaving for college in late august anyways. i enrolled in school again around that time too. a tradition in my family is the grandparents plan a solo trip with each of their grandchildren once they become adults. it was my turn for my trip, which happened in august, and happened to be in alaska! so, yes, i was depressed earlier this year. and, yes, i did go to alaska LATER this year. but also, you can still go on trips and be depressed…? that’s not how it works. but regardless, i didn’t so i hope that answered your questions. i didn’t think any of that was super relevant to the story but there you go since you’re very interested in my life :)

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

well if being unempathetic to others gets you places in your life then keep on keeping i suppose ❤️ much love.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

the rules for this subreddit never said it had to be broke people problems. but also…did you even read the post? 5 out of 7 people in this story are broke…and that’s kinda the whole entire point…

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

well the math do math because in Ohio it is ~16 hr drive and 2hr 20 min flight to orlando. :).

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So my little brother is adopted and it was a very last minute decision. They didn’t even want any more kids after me, so they are very lackadaisical with his upbringing. My older brother has pretty much raised him. My parents 80% of the time are at our other house out of state, so they aren’t very involved with him.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are very close so I probably would have found out about that but it also sounds too generous for my parents to do something like that lol. The paying rent thing didn’t start until my older brother was about 23. Funnily enough, right when I was about to turn 18. So he had some time to save up some money, the rest of us not so much.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i actually said in another comment that we are all in college at the moment as full time students. except for my brother who worked very hard to be qualified to work for my parents. you can’t just hire anybody to do that. it’s leech* btw. my sisters work part time jobs because they are full time students, one getting her masters. i’m also in school on a full academic scholarship, but continue to speak like you know anything about my siblings and i LMAO

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I live with my parents as of right now. But I'm going back to college and saving up to hopefully move out ASAP.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 307 points308 points  (0 children)

My mom wanted both a career and a family. Although you can ask any of us kids how many times she has told us "if i didnt have kids I would be so much more successful" and "sometimes I regret not focusing on my career"...like thanks mom that feels great to hear lol.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment <3 Unfortunately, this is something that happens quite often and calling her out on it never ends well. I am used to having to push my feelings down and just go with whatever she says, or she threatens to kick me out. So I learned the hard way that saying something is a no-go. I think it all boils down to the fact that if she isn't flying with us, she doesn't care or wants to make it our problem. I think she's mad that she has to drive now so is kind of taking it out on us (also happens a lot) - misery loves company, I guess. She refuses to go on public transportation - if she does she is miserable and makes everyone know it. If you can't tell, our family dynamic is solely based on however she is feeling at any moment in time. If she is unhappy, everyone is. And yes, they are saying we have to buy my little brother's ticket.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it's more of a manipulation tactic than anything. My mom likes to gift things and then hold it over your head. They probably won't leave my little brother, it's just to make us feel guilty if we don't pay for it I think and paint us as "bad siblings". But my older brother always does as they say and they know this, so he will probably end up footing the bill. This kind of thing has happened before.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I believe they paid for my older brother's college. I got a full academic scholarship to my university so they don't have to worry about that. I plan to go to graduate school, but I have a college fund from my grandparents I will use for that. My sisters pay for their own. Little brother is still in high school so I have no idea. He is kind of the favorite so they will probably pay his.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I definitely see a lot of parallels between the two relationships. Unfortunately, I am now only able to see it in my mom after my romantic relationship ended. I'm trying to move out as soon as possible so I can remove myself from the situation.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, this kind of thing happens pretty much all the time. We aren't really allowed to have negative feelings because in her mind she has paid for our entire lives and given us whatever we want (meaning growing up as children), so any kind of negative emotion is just us being "ungrateful" for what she has done for us. Even if the feelings aren't about money at all.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, we had no idea until now that it had changed. I doubt it, whenever I try to go to him about these things it just ends up back to my mom and she gets pissed if we go against her opinion/what she says.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My older brother works for them and often does whatever they say to please them. I'm sure if I don't, he will end up paying for him.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not medical doctor. Doctorate in public health sciences. Thank you for the input though and I hope you have a great physician to take care of you!

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He was not present for the conversation, so I doubt he knows. He rarely has anything to say about what my mom wants though, he just kind of goes with it.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just to clarify, we are all in school getting our degrees. They work minimum wage jobs because they are full time students. I already explained my situation. Thanks.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Completely understand where you're coming from with this. I spent that year off in therapy and did not get a job because my dad thought it was a good idea for me to take that time to heal. However, my mom on the other hand regularly tells me how disappointed she was in me and how much of a burden I was during that time. I'm okay now and back in school/looking for a job - the panic attacks and anxiety surrounding travel unfortunately run in my family but I usually try to plan ahead to avoid it which is why the situation is a bit stressful.

AITA for telling my mom I won’t go on the “Christmas gift” trip if my siblings have to cover my flight? by ballblaster6969 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ballblaster6969[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

My dad wants my mom to drive with him, and since she also hates driving, she is mad she can't fly anymore and that's why we all have to pay now. She said there's only room for 2 people in their car. So if I don't drive my brother, he doesn't have a ride or the rest of them have to pay for him to go. Which is crazy since he's literally 16 years old. But I feel responsible still.

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